Category Archive

1. Iceland
2. Norway
3. Australia
4. Canada
5. Ireland
6. Sweden
7. Switzerland
8. Japan
9. the Netherlands
10. France
11. Finland
12. the U.S.

according to the most recent Human Development Index, published annually by the U.N.

SLANT 8: Bold Asian American Images
Friday, May 30, 8pm
Filmmaker Soham Mehta and curator Melissa Hung in attendance

This program of experimental and narrative films weaves together the humorous and the poetic.  Some films tackle stereotypes, while others travel through memory and longing.

Synesthesia | Larilyn Sanchez
Texas premiere | 2006 | Video | 2 mins
Senses come alive, creating impressions, when a woman goes dancing in the dark.

Drive | Ahree Lee
World premiere | 2007 | Video | 4 mins
An experimental take on driving turns multiple trips on the same road into a transcendent experience.

Cookies for Sale | Wes Kim
Texas premiere | 2007 | Video | 3.75 mins
A little girl selling cookies door-to-door engages in a battle of wills with a very grumpy neighbor.

Souvenirs From Asia | Joyce Wong
Texas premiere | 2007 | Video | 12.5 mins
Hanjoo feels like an alien in her suburban neighborhood. It doesn’t help that her adoptive mother is clueless about race and history.

Manoj | Zia Mohajerjasbi
Houston premiere | 2007 | Video | 12 mins
Written by comedian Hari Kondabolu, Manoj is a mockumentary about in-your-face comedian Manoj, who is more than happy to use stereotypes for a laugh.

Suicide Piece | Yu Araki
Texas premiere | 2007 | Video | 3.5 mins
It is mid-day in a major city when this performance piece begins. How will passerbys react to a man and a banana?

Released | Soham Mehta
Houston premiere | 2007 | 16mm presented on Video | 8.5 mins
Three years ago, a brutal hate crime sent Kaustabh to the hospital. Today his assailant will be released from prison and Kaustabh wants revenge.

The Nothing Pill | Yu Gu
Texas premiere | 2007 | Video | 6 mins
In the year 2110, on an Earth nearly depleted of resources, a scientist struggles to find a cure for loneliness.

Dan Carter | Alison Kobayashi
Texas premiere | 2006 | Video | 15 mins
Dan Carter donated his answering machine to a second-hand store. Dan Carter didn’t remove the tape. This story of a love affair, re-imagined and performed by the filmmaker, is based on those messages.

A Thousand Words | Ted Chung
Texas premiere | 2007 | Video | 4.5 mins
A train passenger forgets her camera, or did she leave it on purpose? A stranger finds the camera and takes a chance to connect.

Embarcadero Blues | Dino Ignacio
Texas premiere | 2007 | Video | 3 mins
In this music video, songwriter Goh Nakamura sings a love song for San Francisco and anyone who has worked in the service industry.

Not the television series season finale tonight.  That’s just how I describe how I’ve been feeling for quite some time.  And that’s what I’ve been telling people.  Like I wrote in an email three weeks ago when asked for a prayer request:  “On a personal note, I still feel lost, but it’s not this big suffocating weight and desperation, and I don’t really think it’s a bad thing either.  Still, I think what was said at Bible study was right on target, I really don’t even know what to specify except that I really haven’t touched that Bible in forever.  I used to read it every day.  So that is a step.  But just everything is on my mind really, like counseling and church and career and stuff….”  Before, it was this feeling of desolation that would be the catalyst of a stampede of thoughts that no one cares (e.g. second-guessing my friends and family, perceiving past gatherings from under the shadow of a dark cloak).  Just as Phoebe knows her fear of the stage is irrational, I know these thoughts are irrational, but it still doesn’t much help with untangling that knot during the deer-in-headlights moment.  Depression is irrational!  Or is it?  I remember Hannah made a comment after watching Lifting the Veil, saying she somewhat believes that some who have depression are more in tune with reality than us “normal” people because we “ignore” the atrocities and stick with an “illusion” of rosiness in order to not go “crazy.”

“Keep Breathing”
by Ingrid Michaelson

The storm is coming but I don’t mind.
People are dying, I close my blinds.

All that i know is I’m breathing now.

I want to change the world…instead I sleep.
I want to believe in more than you and me.

But all that I know is I’m breathing.
All i can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

All that I know is I’m breathing.
All I can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

Anyway, I guess this is as good a time as any to at least sort a smidgen in my mind/heart/spirit:

COMMUNITY
Genesis 35:11

Last Thursday I drove my parents to Austin to pay a last visit before my brother left for one week (to visit his former roommate), to give him his luggage (so he can pack), and to clean out his fridge (because he can leave food on the stove and not ever eat or clean it out).  My brother and I are very close.  We grew up with the same parents and familial history, in the same household, went to the same school for awhile, even were in the exact class and period for a class or two in high school (personal tutor, baby!).  We initially hung out with the majority of the same acquaintances (and lack thereof) and shared in the same struggles regarding church and friends and connectedness that we still discuss to this day, many times while in his room chatting up to the wee hours of the night/morn and our parents would come and say time to go to bed!  We are considerably different when you meet us, no doubt, as I am more like our mother and he is more like our father.  And in fact since high school we have led very different lives and rarely hang out or even talk with the same people, friends, or each other.  Nonetheless, during those occasional phone calls, I would say that I still feel close and  would still reveal much embarrassing/humbling/shameful things to him.

By the way, he had moved into a new apartment (from the urgings of his currently ex-girlfriend) and bought some furniture.  Where did they come from?  The famous Craigslist.  I have never been to the site, but many many people have made references to it.  From my understanding, it’s a virtual (that sometimes eventually leads to a physical) place where people can sell and exchange practically anything, from sofas and endtables to jobs, pets, and discussions.  It reminds me of Facebook and Myspace, two sites which Jennifer Garcia is part of and asked me if I was as well (I’m not, and actually most people in FBCC don’t have Facebook).  I’m not part of Craigslist, either, but is it something to BE a part of?  But those in Facebook and Myspace are still part of that network since they are still signed up in it, right?  Am I still part of Xanga if I decide I won’t write in it anymore (no activity), even if I have two blogs hosted on it?  You used to need an account to leave a comment, but now you don’t.  Do those who have never signed up part of Xanga if they leave a million comments on others’ Xanga blogs?  What does it mean to be part of a community?  What does it mean to be part of a church, and to be part of His Church?

FELLOWSHIP
Acts 2:42-47

I have been faithfully attending church services on Sundays since childhood.  But this past January, since I’ve always hated it (since middle school and El Paso, and even in Austin), I made a conscious decision to just stop going.  I made no effort to wake up earlier than usual, and even if I did, I didn’t even consider the possibility of perhaps attending.  Not until I figure out which church to attend regularly (do I want to stick with FBCC with its new chapter?), why I feel the way I do about it (is it the environment, the specific social situation?), and my reasons for going.  Three Sundays ago, I told Tiffany that though I haven’t really been communing with God lately, and though I have never ever exactly lauded FBCC, I have come to the conclusion to return to FBCC.  Now I have to dissect what that entails.

Regardless of its vagueness, it was a difficult decision.  Vickie is in San Antonio, so that’s why she says she continues to attend WHCC (her default).  However, she says that when she returns to a more permanent stay in Houston, she’ll move to Access, which is where Phoebe and Linton are fellowshiping now.  Access is starting out as a small but highly committed group.  When it grows in size, how will it look like?  Are people still going to connect?  To start off last fall, Pastor Ted asked his congregants to read The Celtic Way of Evangelism: How Christianity Can Reach the West…Again by George G. Hurton III.  In it, the key to evangelism is through understanding and living as a fellowship among the people, and in time they will open their hearts to the God who knows them.  The old Roman way was for people to believe before they can belong, while the new Celtic way is for you to belong and eventually believe.  In other words, the community and not an individual brings you to Christ.  In many ways, it’s easier to tell someone the Gospel than it is to take someone where s/he consistently experiences the Gospel.

How do we belong?  I sure feel like I belong to WHCC and HCC more than FBCC.  I know I am at fault for not terribly trying much, but even though I don’t really try, I get invited to their birthday parties, their holiday celebrations, and their event gatherings.  They even apologize profusely for forgetting to add me onto their list and making sure I am included next time.  On the flip side, I try the hardest with FBCC (but not my hardest in general) by calling and emailing them to contact me to hang out, and instead I’ve come to expect voicemail and oh yeah, this is what we’re doing right now, if you want to come.  Is it because at least one or two people keep track of me at WHCC and HCC, but no one does here at FBCC?  That could make all the difference.  Or is it that I expect more (and keep a record of wrongs?) because I have decided to be included at FBCC but I am nonchalant with whether I am invited to WHCC or HCC?  I remember back in January there was a slew of WHCC birthdays, and then in February there was a slew of FBCC birthdays.  Somehow, I ended up going to the WHCC ones but not the FBCC ones as much; I don’t remember now, but at the time was it due to scheduling conflicts or did I finally decide to attend the WHCC ones because I was more comfortable with them?  What does it mean to expect the worse but hope for the best?  How do you have high expectations but….? 

When I entered college, I checked out a handful of Christian gatherings.  I joined a small group that was part of the then-called Chinese Bible Study because it was the thing to do and everyone kept emphasizing them.  Our group fell apart,one by one, until it was just the Bible study leader, me, and this girl who was highly committed and hadn’t yet accepted Jesus.  I felt sorry, but that wasn’t going to cut it, so I left highly disappointed and joined CCC.  Later, I learned that one of the girls who wasn’t that much of a believer became good friends with Kara and eventually made an amazing transformation through His grace.  The thing is, though you can encourage group ownership, it sure can’t be forced.  Anyone knows nagging doesn’t work, although we find ourselves doing it.  Haven’t you noticed with some you just click instantly and with others you don’t?  Some people find you dull, while others find you exciting, or at least around them somehow you light up.  Even if you give all the time you can, with all the sincerity and effort, with both of you seeking, even if you lived near each other.  Reminds me of that girl from Chicago: we had an affinity towards each other so we’d decide to meet up and all, but anyone can tell from our conversations that somehow we just weren’t clicking.  Eventually we both decided without words to call it off.  She was a smart and pretty girl; I wonder where she is now after UT Austin pre-pharm classes.

Maybe we’re defining incorrectly.  Back in high school, I was elected to be the Science Club president, with a new teacher sponsor.  It bothered me that our definition of a member was someone who paid the fee.  There were those who were super dedicated, coming and helping at every single event, while others never showed up but they did pay the money.  I didn’t enjoy being president, so for me to keep everything running was as good as it was going to get, not trying to change their pre-existing system.  Magnificat has an application process but afterwards you’re in for life.  Even with years of hiatus you are always wlecome to come back and use the resources.  I met Annie Shen at an HCC gathering, and she says she hangs out with HCC, serves in her home Asian church, and then attends a more American (or African-American?) church on Sunday mornings.  Seems fragmented and yet, is that something I want to imitate?  In a way, her method demonstrates that we together are the Bride of Christ.  Vickie’s always running around hanging out with all these groups because we are all interconnected (actually, if left to my own devices, I really don’t care to make new friends). 

Indeed, it is impossible to know everyone, even within a single church building (”Abandon Committees, Skip Teams, and Embrace Communities” by George Bullard), so is there significance in “choosing” a church?  Are we to attend, serve, and gather within one?  What does the modern-day “fellowship of the believers” look like?  I think my problem would be choosing, because many times events have been booked for the same weekend.  Do I even it out?  Or instead, focus?  Still, I remember in the past when someone at FBCC needed a bone marrow transplant due to leukemia; the whole church gathered together.  We have also drawn together to fundraise for missions we support.  And the Chinese churches have gathered together for events as well (although it appears that FBCC does that less than the others).  Our mechanic, dentist, realtor, and family physician all were borne from the network of these Chinese churches.  It’s like “The New Science of Networks” by Albert-Laszlo Barabasi (who wrote it after reading “The Strength of Weak Ties“ by Mark S. Granovetter).

Still, when I went to RecWeek it was a big deal since I didn’t commit myself to InterVarsity but to CCC:EPIC (who has their own similar conference: DWC)–the IV leader went to the CCC leader to make sure they knew about me and it was okay with them!  Actually, it is the close relationships I formed in EPIC, not IV, that continue to live on.  I’ve still visited Josh, sent a card to Jonathan Le, had a few meals with prayers and talks of our spiritual struggles with Marie when she stops in town, and exchanged sparse emails with Iris.  Which reminds me: before the birth of EPIC, Alice and I were part of a CCC cell group.  The concept is that, as it grew, it would split and thus multiply.  We had to decide who we wanted to go with: Ophelia or Kristen.  I couldn’t decide at all.  Eventually, on the Jester steps, Iris poured out her heart and tears and basically begged me to be part of the one she had chosen.  I don’t remember if I had chosen one yet at this point, or if I ended up choosing the one that she asked me to be a part of, but I just remember this particular heart-wrenching moment.  I’ve never felt so loved and accepted.  And then, even leaving a comment on a random Xanga where they just started their own EPIC, I never would have imagined that eventually she would pray for my sins, and then point me (with Rudi) to spent one night of our two-week road trip at a stranger’s apartment.  Not only did this sister in Christ open her place for us and provide hospitality, she also prayed for and over us.

FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS
Luke 15:1-7

Perhaps Josh had a better glimpse of how this all operates when he wrote his journal entry on seasonal friendships.  On the snowboarding trip, not only did I reinforce previous friendships but also forged new ones.  Liz prayed for me when she didn’t even know me, only because she knew I needed the spiritual support.  Now we still exchange postcards and emails.  I haven’t spoken to Ruth since I’ve moved back from El Paso; she was a wonderful roommate.  During the student orientation at UT Austin, somehow I ended up hanging with a Hispanic girl and an African-American guy.  I remember the incident when we were eating some free food in a large banquet hall, and he said that he really stood out.  “Because we’re under the skylight?”  “No, because I’m the only black person in this room.”  It was really nice to not be alone and to share the experience with others in the same boat.  I remember her waving at me later, and he visited my dorm freshman year, but now I don’t even remember his or her names (or faces….).  When we graduated, Sapna gave me an old photograph of when the three of us (including Reena) were in second grade? and I had played this detective game with them by planting clues: ”It takes a long time to grow an old friend.”  Back in high school, Carla Ortiz gave me this:  “Thanks for being my friend & for being the caring person that you are to me.  Your the GREATEST friend.  Happy B-day to a friend that means ALOT to me.”  I remember thinking, this is so out of nowhere!  I don’t recall any conversations we’ve had in the past, and ever since I have not a clue what’s going on with her.  She says I’m such a great friend to her, but how?  I know many times I’m nice to those I really would prefer never to hang out with again, but with her it wasn’t even that….

I remember back in Austin, Timmy Chui wrote about The Atomic Tiers of Friendship haha; wonder where he got his ideas.  Phoebe and Hannah have been gone for a week in Hong Kong and will be gone for another week.  I have been contemplating our relationships since I’ve been back at my parents’ place for the time being.  Phoebe and I grew close first semester of freshman year and then agreed to an accountability relationship thereafter until I moved to El Paso.  Hannah and I gelled a connection after her 22nd birthday while exchanging deep, dark, familiar yet unsimilar, privacies.  We’ve hung out I think usually once a week together on the weekends, but of course it’s not like before.  I think other acquaintances (not “friends”) know more about them than I do at this point.  I’m not exactly pining for the days gone by but rather how to take those spontaneous moments along into the future, how to cultivate the environment for our older selves in new stages, for the sake of the gospel, for our children.

I mentioned that we should be neighbors so our kids can play together.  Linton said, “But you don’t even have a boyfriend!.”  Indeed, I’m not even close to marrying, let alone having children.  I never really got to know my neighbors, but it turns out that I know a little more (thanks to my dad) than Phoebe and Hannah do about theirs (they say they’re new).  Linton has to feed their dog Missy, but it seems that in the past (or at least in media), the neighbor usually handles that role.  As I drive towards Dulles Avenue, I always pass a driveway packed with boys who have grown tall and lanky!  I don’t know who lives there, but I’ve seen African-American guys, Asian-American guys, and white guys all playing basketball together.  When Gilmore Girls first came out, what drew me was not only the intelligent banter but the concept that they lived in a (too) close-knit town.  Everyone would eat at the local Luke’s Diner, and then people could hang out on their front porches and say hello to those walking by.  But they sure had a lot of gossip.  (And, as Phoebe said, when Dean made love to Rory, we were shocked.  So much for a clean series.)  I absolutely adored the neighborhood playground my brother and I frequented as children.  Okay, so maybe this concept is now dangerous in this day and age.  Then you can have those “gated communities” that Jessica/Robert/Rosemery (and my brother) are in (compare with the med center condos that Alison/Wilson/Cindy live in).

MARRIAGE
Ephesians 5:22-33

I always say that I feel more comfortable around guys than girls (verus for Linton he says he grew up feeling more comfortable around girls than guys).  The past few weeks I wonder how I came to that conclusion, both mentally and subconsciously in how I act.  I mean, I hung out with both while in school (and senior year it was a table of all females during lunch, man I miss Arlene and oh, her birthday was this past Sunday), and at church it wasn’t like the guys in my class treated me better than the girls.  I would also say that I have more guy friends than girl friends, yet if I lost my guy friends I would be sad but not as devastated as if I were to lose a friendship with a girl. 

Chris Sun is a prime example.  In fact, I’m almost hesitant to call him a friend.  Is he more of a…frequent acquaintance?  Seriously, the only reason we hang out is through Linton (and satellite friends).  I have a [funny] birthday card that he gave me freshman year.  Little did I know then how rare that is.  Yet he’s probably going to be one of Linton’s groomsman, and I did invite him to my birthday dinner, I guess to even it out.  I also invited Nathan Kim, and we rarely talk.  In fact, we just see each other at football and usually don’t even exchange words.  But I know if I am in need of prayer or other help, he will respond, as he always emails back amidst his numerous activities.  And then there are Andrew, Nathan, and Inch.  Well, I haven’t been in contact with them for quite a long time now, but it’s okay.  I think I feel closer to them than the other people I’ve met from football simply because I met them through Vickie, and somehow that changed the dynamics in how I associate with them, like sending them Christmas cards.

Haha, remember when Tina Chen thought that David Kalloor and I were dating because he’d come over so often freshman year before either of us made many new friends?  It never occurred to me, and I never ever did/will have that thought concerning him.  Whereas with Siwei we, I have no idea how, hit it off right off the bat (where/when/who).  I could tell him everything that I tell my brother–that’s how close I felt with him.  But I barely met him.  At first I clung to thinking, “What does it mean to know my husband?” but like friendships, there are those you just click with and those you don’t.  So I’ve let go of that.  When I said no in Austin to a sweet guy who asked me out, he asked if it was because he didn’t believe in God.  “No, I’m just not attracted to you.”  Somehow, I didn’t feel it.  

Although, I think that has to do with our current culture.  If parents don’t approve of your choice nowadays, that’s usually overlooked instead of trying to reconcile.  In past customs (like the dowry) and in prevailing traditions (like the father “giving away” the daughter) though, it’s really a relationship between the two families, if not also between/within churches (The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony by Pamela Paul), dating with the approval of your community, who is in the place to help you weigh in the other factors of values and also keep you accountable.  That’s probably why Erwin and I are somewhat okay when thinking about arranged marriages.  I think the problem occurs when they make matches due to affluence and distinguishment, etc, as all humans end up messing up good systems.  My question to myself is, “If a guy I highly respect were to ask me but I just wasn’t feeling it, even after multiple extended rendezvous, would I accept?”  I think this is the wisdom I need to ask God about: the ability to discern whether an obstacle is the result of the need for discipline/perseverance (hurdle) or is the result of the need for a detour/fork (wall).  That’s what I’ve been trying to consider about waking up early, memorizing verses, personality in socializing, planning (using a planner works great for me, but Jennifer Lin says it doesn’t help her at all), kit with relatives, exercising, friendships as mentioned above, love languages….

PURPOSE
John 17:4

Last Wednesday, we met for FBCC Ladies’ Group.  The overall concensus was, we have no idea where we are headed and how our stories will end on earth and continue in heaven.  Many are figuring out whether to change to an entirely new area of study, or at least a new job within their current finished schooling.  The competition rises each year it seems among valedictorians/salutatorians, and I am amazed at just how ambitious and passionate they appear to be; you wonder if they will reach it, and if they will find satisfaction in reaching it.  As the dark clouds slowly dissipate, at times an epiphany or some clarity will shine through, but then it quickly disappears and I’m in a fog again, but still in a better state for seeing it.  I’m usually at peace when I think that I will be married while going about the house, how I’ve always vaguely but contentedly imagined it, helping supporting supplementing whatever he endeavors.  Despite that, Proverbs 31 had always bothered me, but even now the Proverbs 31 woman is now a celebration and challenge.  This always-wife desire and this in-the-Bible-but-doesn’t-seem-right disenchantment is finally coming together.  I guess I didn’t realize that it made me feel intimidated, incompetent, hopeless, exhausted (in my own power) like reading the goals of the graduates.  Instead, as God is making us perfect, as women He is making us her (His power with our participation), in our own unique ways. 

Of course, having “peace” doesn’t always mean I’m on the right track, but again you can’t discount it either.  I get restless when I think that I have been blessed beyond what I could’ve asked or imagined and with that comes the stewardship of making great strides for His kingdom (and thus even before believing but being raised in church, missions was always attractive to my naive eyes).  The thing is, ultimately we are to obey and glorify, NOT to change the world.  I think it is in this that I am transitioning from abstractness into something more pragmatic, as I am slowly lifted out and glean the gems that can only be understood from coming out of trip-ups, temptations, and trials.  I was all tangled up in my buzz words of community/friends/romance/vulnerability/missions/reconciliation/prayer, I’ve forgotten to “look up!”  I’ve been trying to figure out what God has given me a gift in, where God has placed my passions in, and how it could all work in this current culture, but conclusively regardless of techniques and training, the umph will be from God.  

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.  Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.  All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.  For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! (Philippians 3:7-16, Romans 11:36).

AMEN.

As some of you know, I was valedictorian of Stafford High School in 2002.  I did not strive for this top spot but simply diligently performed (and definitely with my parents taking care of everything else, including chores and food and driving).  Sapna was the salutatorian, and then it was Henry, Sarah, and then Kuan I think.  During prom, he was voted as the male “Most Likely to Succeed”, as I was voted the female recipient.  I remember Elliot asking about success, and then eventually saying I would definitely succeed, not in money or wealth, but in life in however I see myself succeeding.  Elliot, always the one to think beyond the surface :)  I have to say it was pretty awesome to get it since, for example, Henry really wanted to be #1 LOL.  More importantly, I got some money from the state, and it was probably also the reason why I received the HLSR scholarship.  People congratulate me…but not to diminish the honor, I’m sure if I went to another school I wouldn’t have received it.  I mean, all four years I took P.E. (since I knew I wouldn’t exercise any other way) and my senior year I took a lot of office aid and basically blow-off classes, while in other schools you have to be cutthroat with the honors/AP/advanced classes to the very end.  If it was between Hannah and me, it would’ve been Hannah ;-)  I didn’t really do much extracurricular either, although I guess I looked pretty good on paper:  NHS historian, Science Club president, secretary, PR, and I volunteered a lot with Mansi.  I probably would’ve gotten into Rice, too, since Sapna got in (I didn’t apply; I just figured save the hassle since I knew I’d automatically get into UT Austin and I didn’t want to live too close to home :-P).  One thing for sure, though, that I knew school was nothing like work.  Also, I really don’t have ambitions.  If asked about my career choice or my goals for the future, I would not have been able to answer anything, let alone how specific some of the following local chron.com valedictorians/salutatorians this year have answered:

• “To become a doctor and go back to the Philippines and volunteer a couple months of my time to help hospitals in need.”
• “To one day be appointed to a federal judge position. I want to prove to my family and others from single-parent households that anything to which they set their minds can be achieved no matter their socio-economic or cultural circumstance.”
• “To get a co-op with NASA and eventually work there.”
• “While a career in politics seems increasingly intriguing and isn’t completely impossible in my future, my main goal at the moment is receive a masters in art history and to return to Houston’s Menil Collection. I simply adore their varied collection of art and would be deeply honored to work there later in life.”
• “I want to write for a major paper or go to med school.”
• “I want to go to medical school to become a craniofacial surgeon.”
• “I will try to come back to my community and help out the people that supported me. I want to help my parents and start a college fund for my younger sister.”
• “I believe in giving back to the community that gave to me. I would like to thank my parents. They have driven me to succeed in life.Without them I wouldn’t be the person that I am today.”
• “To be accepted into medical school to become a doctor.”
• “I want to attend Texas A&M and own my own business.”
• “College, in preparation for a successful business career.”
• “College, then a career including psychology and social work.”
• “Attend college, pursue a career in human resource/management, have a family, and become involved in my church and community.”
• “I would like to someday write musical scores for film and television”
• “I want to be a pharmacist.”
• “I want to be a doctor of internal medicine.”
• “I plan to major in psychology or fine arts (graphic design).”
• “I want to go to medical school. My career goal is to be a surgeon and make a difference in the world.”
• “I want to attend law school focusing on corporate law. My goal is to be a lawyer for a major corporation.”
• “To work at a chemical company and eventually become the plant manager.”
• “I want to graduate from University of Texas in Austin, and hope to make it into the prestigious Baylor College of Medicine to become a cardiac surgeon.”
• “I hope to develop programs that will benefit others and improve the quality of their lives.
• “I want to graduate from college and be a successful engineer.”
•  ”I want to teach music at the college level.”
• “I want to be successful in life and to be able to help as many people as I can.”
• “I want to obtain my bachelor’s and master’s degree on mechanical engineering, work for a large company and eventually be my own boss”
• To teach children with learning disabilities.
• To become a doctor of pharmacy and research and develop cures for diseases such as cancer, AIDS and diabetes.
• To work in finance and government.
• Attend graduate school, get a good job and start a family
• To live a happy life, start a family and make a difference in the world.
• To major in human biology and become an optometrist.
• To earn a doctorate in theoretical mathematics and statistical analysis and attend law school and to open a law firm in the Sudan and Afghanistan for oppressed women and children.
• Architecture or creative writing; “Establish myself in the University of Houston’s Honors College.”
• Finance; “To eventually run my own business one day.”
• General practitioner; Medical research.
• Registered Nurse Cardiothoracic; Excel in college, international field research.
• Bioengineering, pre-med track to medical school; To have an enjoyable job, surrounded by people I love and trust … living on the East Coast with at least two dogs.
• Finance or marketing; Get a job where I can help people, possibly a teacher and basketball coach, and have a family.
• Pediatrician; To find something that I really love that helps other people and makes a difference in our world.
• Science or medical field; Study abroad, graduate school, experience other cultures around the globe while applying my field of study and knowledge.
• Broadcast journalism; To work with a major television station.
• Biomedical or chemical engineering; To become a pediatric specialist, possibly in oncology.
• Orthopedic sports medicine; To work in a career I am passionate about. To continue to build valuable relationships with friends and family and have a positive impact on the lives of people I come in contact with.
• Doctor; To open a clinic for people with low income and find a cure for hepatitis C so that I can cure my mother of this disease.
• Computer science and electrical engineering; To create a high-tech company.
• To become a lawyer or work for Coca-Cola Co.
• Nephrology (surgery); To work with Doctors Without Borders, focusing on AIDS and kidney disease research.
• Biochemistry; To become a sports physician.
• Business; To open a non-interest bank.
• Optometry or dentistry; To open her own practice, and volunteer at hospitals and low-income health centers.
• Politics; To attend law school and specialize in constitutional or corporate law.

Other notes:

• “Past valedictorians talk about path to success in the real world“ by Cathryn Stout, Memphis Commercial Appeal, Sunday, May 25, 2008
• Lives of Promise: What Becomes of High School Valedictorians by Dr. Karen Arnold chronicles the lives of 81 Illinois high school valedictorians from the class of 1981.  Multipotentiality is the struggle to choose between passions.
• “Valedictorian madness” blogspot entry

• Father, God, Holy Spirit
• Lover, Beloved, Love
• Speaker, Word, Breath
• the One to Whom, the One by Whom, the One in Whom we offer our praise
• the God/One who Creates, Redeems, Sustains/Sanctifies/Gives Life
• Creator, Redeemer, Giver of Life/Sustainer/Sanctifier
• Overflowing Font, Living Water, Flowing River
• Compassionate Mother, Beloved Child, Life-givng Womb
• the Maker of all life, Jesus the Christ, the Spirit that is with us always
• Our Sun, Ray, Warmth
• Rock, Cornerstone, Temple
• the Sacred Three to save, shield, surround
• the Fire that Consumes, the Hammer that Breaks, the Storm that Melts Mountains

Jennifer Lin emailed this to the FBCC Ladies’ Group after we were discussing memorizing Bible verses last night:

Surrender to This Algorithm
by Gary Wolf
04/21/08  |  6:00 PM

SuperMemo is based on the insight that there is an ideal moment to practice what you’ve learned. Practice too soon and you waste your time. Practice too late and you’ve forgotten the material and have to relearn it. The right time to practice is just at the moment you’re about to forget. Unfortunately, this moment is different for every person and each bit of information. Fortunately, human forgetting follows a pattern. We forget exponentially. A graph of our likelihood of getting the correct answer on a quiz sweeps quickly downward over time and then levels off. This pattern has long been known to cognitive psychology, but it has been difficult to put to practical use.

Twenty years ago, Piotr Wozniak realized that computers could easily calculate the moment of forgetting if he could discover the right algorithm. SuperMemo is the result of his research. It predicts the future state of a person’s memory and schedules information reviews at the optimal time. The effect is striking. Users can seal huge quantities of vocabulary into their brains. But for Wozniak, 46, helping people learn a foreign language fast is just the tiniest part of his goal. As we plan the days, weeks, even years of our lives, he would have us rely not merely on our traditional sources of self-knowledge — introspection, intuition, and conscious thought — but also on something new: predictions about ourselves encoded in machines.  They will be able to tell us when to wake, sleep, learn, and exercise; they will cue us to remember what we’ve read, help us track whom we’ve met, and remind us of our goals. Computers, in Wozniak’s scheme, will increase our intellectual capacity and enhance our rational self-control.

The reason the inventor of SuperMemo pursues extreme anonymity, asking me to conceal his exact location and shunning even casual recognition by users of his software, is not because he’s paranoid or a misanthrope but because he wants to avoid random interruptions to a long-running experiment he’s conducting on himself. Wozniak is a kind of algorithmic man. He’s exploring what it’s like to live in strict obedience to reason. On first encounter, he appears to be one of the happiest people I’ve ever met.

In the late 1800s, a German scientist named Hermann Ebbinghaus made up lists of nonsense syllables and measured how long it took to forget and then relearn them. He discovered many lawlike regularities of mental life. He was the first to draw a learning curve. Among his original observations was an account of a strange phenomenon that would drive his successors half batty for the next century: the spacing effect.

Wozniak couldn’t help noticing that within a few months of completing a class, only a fraction of the knowledge he had so painfully acquired remained in his mind. The problem wasn’t learning the material; it was retaining it.  If students nonetheless manage to become expert in a few of the things they study, it’s not because they retain the material from their lessons but because they specialize in a relatively narrow subfield where intense practice keeps their memory fresh. As Wozniak later wrote in describing the failure of his early learning system: “The process of increasing the size of my databases gradually progressed at the cost of knowledge retention.” In other words, as his list grew, so did his forgetting.

The problem of forgetting might not torment us so much if we could only convince ourselves that remembering isn’t important. Facts can be looked up. When it comes to learning, what really matters is how things fit together. We master the stories, the schemas, the frameworks, the paradigms; we rehearse the lingo; we swim in the episteme.  The disadvantage is that it’s false. “The people who criticize memorization — how happy would they be to spell out every letter of every word they read?” asks Robert Bjork, chair of UCLA’s psychology department and one of the most eminent memory researchers.  Once we drop the excuse that memorization is pointless, we’re left with an interesting mystery. Much of the information does remain in our memory, though we cannot recall it. They were also curious about the paradoxical tendency of older memories to become stronger with the passage of time, while more recent memories faded.

Long-term memory, the Bjorks said, can be characterized by two components, which they named retrieval strength and storage strength. Retrieval strength measures how likely you are to recall something right now, how close it is to the surface of your mind. Storage strength measures how deeply the memory is rooted. Some memories may have high storage strength but low retrieval strength. Take an old address or phone number. Try to think of it; you may feel that it’s gone. But a single reminder could be enough to restore it for months or years. Conversely, some memories have high retrieval strength but low storage strength. Perhaps you’ve recently been told the names of the children of a new acquaintance. At this moment they may be easily accessible, but they are likely to be utterly forgotten in a few days, and a single repetition a month from now won’t do much to strengthen them at all.

One of the problems is that the amount of storage strength you gain from practice is inversely correlated with the current retrieval strength. In other words, the harder you have to work to get the right answer, the more the answer is sealed in memory. The most popular learning systems sold today — for instance, foreign language software like Rosetta Stone — cheerfully defy every one of the psychologists’ warnings. With its constant feedback and easily accessible clues, Rosetta Stone brilliantly creates a sensation of progress. “Go to Amazon and look at the reviews,” says Greg Keim, Rosetta Stone’s CTO, when I ask him what evidence he has that people are really remembering what they learn. “That is as objective as you can get in terms of a user’s sense of achievement.” The sole problem here, from the psychologists’ perspective, is that the user’s sense of achievement is exactly what we should most distrust.

The day I first meet Wozniak, we go for a 7-mile walk down a windy beach. Wozniak takes an almost physical pleasure in reason. He loves to discuss things with people, to get insight into their personalities, and to give them advice — especially in English. One of his most heartfelt wishes is that the world have one language and one currency so this could all be handled more efficiently. He’s appalled that Poland is still not in the Eurozone. He’s baffled that Americans do not use the metric system. For two years he kept a diary in Esperanto.

Wozniak’s chief partner in the campaign to reprogram the world’s approach to learning through SuperMemo was Krzysztof Biedalak, who had been his classmate at the University of Technology. The two men used to run 6 miles to a nearby lake for an icy swim. Biedalak agrees with Wozniak that winter swimming is good for mental health. Biedalak also agrees with Wozniak that SuperMemo produces extreme learning. But Biedalak does not agree with Wozniak about everything. “I don’t apply his whole technique,” he says. “In my context, his technique is inapplicable.”

“Piotr would never go out to promote the product, wouldn’t talk to journalists, very rarely agreed to meet with somebody,” Biedalak says. “He was the driving force, but at some point I had to accept that you cannot communicate with him in the way you can with other people.”  The problem wasn’t shyness but the same intolerance for inefficient expenditure of mental resources that led to the invention of SuperMemo in the first place. By the mid-’90s, with SuperMemo growing more and more popular, Wozniak felt that his ability to rationally control his life was slipping away.  Having turned over his mental life to a computerized system, he refuses to be pushed around by random inputs and requests. Naturally, this can be annoying to people whose messages tend to sift to the bottom. “After four months,” Biedalak says sadly, “you sometimes get a reply to some sentence in an email that has been scrambled in his incremental reading process.”

The Baltic Sea is dark as an unlit mirror. Wozniak and I walk along the shore, passing the wooden snack stands that won’t be open until spring, and he tells me how he manages his life. He’s married, and his wife shares his lifestyle. They swim together in winter, and though Polish is their native language, they communicate in English, which she learned with SuperMemo. Wozniak’s days are blocked into distinct periods: a creative period, a reading and studying period, an exercise period, an eating period, a resting period, and then a second creative period. He doesn’t get up at a regular hour and is passionate against alarm clocks. If excitement over his research leads him to work into the night, he simply shifts to sleeping in the day.  When he entrusts his mental life to a machine, it is not to throw off the burden of thought but to make his mind more swift. Extreme knowledge is not something for which he programs a computer but for which his computer is programming him.

Wozniak gives close attention to the qualitative estimate of fatal risks. By graphing the acquisition of knowledge in SuperMemo, he has realized that in a single lifetime one can acquire only a few million new items. This is the absolute limit on intellectual achievement defined by death. So he guards his health. He rarely gets in a car.  His advice was straightforward yet strangely terrible: You must clarify your goals, gain knowledge through spaced repetition, preserve health, work steadily, minimize stress, refuse interruption, and never resist sleep when tired. This should lead to radically improved intelligence and creativity. The only cost: turning your back on every convention of social life. It is a severe prescription. And yet now, it occurs to me that the cold rationality of his approach may be only a surface feature and that, when linked to genuine rewards, even the chilliest of systems can have a certain visceral appeal. By projecting the achievement of extreme memory back along the forgetting curve, by provably linking the distant future — when we will know so much — to the few minutes we devote to studying today, Wozniak has found a way to condition his temperament along with his memory.  He is making the future noticeable. He is trying not just to learn many things but to warm the process of learning itself with a draft of utopian ecstasy.

Links mentioned in comments:

• Article:  http://www.wired.com/medtech/health/magazine/16-05/ff_wozniak
• Mnemosyne: http://www.nihongoperapera.com/spaced-repetition-memory-software.html
• Mac clone:  http://www.mindburn.com/
• for Linux:  http://sourceforge.net/projects/mnemosyne-proj/

After Ladies’ Group, I came home and watched the last hour of a 2-hour viewing of Depression on PBS:

• About the Program
• from NAMI Advocate Magazine
• Television review from Boston
• Television review from New York
• from HealthTalk Dr. Z’s blog

Wednesday, May 14, 2008.  The twins left this morning with their parents to visit Hong Kong for two weeks.  It’s the twins’ first time!  Phoebe was so sweet and sent me a postcard right before she left.  Linton called in the afternoon and asked if I wanted to hear a speaker talk about Darfur that evening.  Sure.  He called Vickie (still in San Antonio), and I called Elliot (visiting cousin).  Greg Wang and Chris came, too.  Later the three of us went to Two Rows to meet up with James and Peter to eat.  We didn’t get seated at a booth until 9:30 pm.  While waiting, James was on the phone and the three guys were chatting about who knows what.  They each ordered a Strawberry Blonde? beer in the meantime.  I was standing idly around awkwardly.  Then, the benches were empty so Linton and Chris sat down on one bench and Peter sat down next to me.  I picked up the Houston Press that was on the bench.  I flipped it open and the top said “Art” so I started reading.  He asked, “Do you you like art?”  I answered that I did, that I’ve had comments that I was pretty good at it (but I admit it’s only because I was copying), but I never thought to pursue it due to the influence of my upbringing.  Now that I’m out of college, I’ve starting contemplating the meaning of art, that it ISN’T a waste of time.  Peter agreed, saying that our parents push only for business, medicine, or law.  I said that they didn’t exactly push those specifics, but they DID push in their nondirect way for something that is likely to be viable soon out of college.  Somehow we segued into comedy.  He informed me of The Aristocrats (which initially I was imagining The Producers previews).  He said he wanted to be able to do that someday, just on-the-spot give a sparkling rendition of the joke.  I didn’t know that the Bob Saget was a well-rounded comedian, meaning that he also uses pretty foul language when not on family-friendly shows.  We discussed comedy in general, like cussing at every other word (or faking stereotypical accents all the time) is really desperation, not smart humor (this includes the Silk Mangos).  He tried to name a few that weren’t too sexual, but it was funny how Chris and James completely refuted them, saying that they were pretty bad.  After we were seated, Braden showed up with Jennifer Ma.  Jennifer didn’t remember Chris or me, but she did realize that she knew Peter.  I learned about Braden’s brother Daven’s marriage.  Jennifer left, Susan came later, then the couple left with like 5 beers ($1 during Wednesday Happy Hour).  I ordered the pot roast sandwich with beans, which the waiter recommended, but I got mushrooms, so I asked, and so I got to eat both, hehe.

Thursday, May 15, 2008.  James called to invite me to dinner at Yantze.  He said maybe Linton could pick me up, so I called.  I went to his house, then he drove us to Phoebe/Hannah’s to feed Missy (who’s 10 years old).  They turned off their water, so he had to scoop it up to distribute.  I’ve never really got a good look at her before.  It was cute that they gave her a big umbrella over her doghouse.  Linton told me not to mess with a hole in the ground, which is a favorite spot of hers–interesting.  Linton says he usually gives her two doggie treats, and I got the preferred one (a red cylindrical stick), but I guess since I was a stranger to her she wouldn’t take it from me.  Then, she ate the other bone-shaped treat.  Linton finally said that I probably shouldn’t be taking pictures with the flash because she might be interpretting it as lightning.  Peter was at dinner as well (his Mandarin Chinese last name is the same as mine).  As we walked to decided between JuiceBox and Star Snow Ice and Teriyaki, we saw Jocelyn Chen and Nike eating at FuFu’s.  They joined us at Star Snow afterwards.  Originally it was going to be more people but turned out only the two of them showed up.  James and Jocelyn met him at the Meta retreat.  He got his name because his ex-girlfriend gave it to him.  He later found out that his sister ended up with the name Nike as well, and they were thinking of changing his name to Adidas since he has everything (sponsor) of that, but he didn’t change it.  When Linton found out that this 35-year-old used to be on some sort of official Chinese basketball team, he asked for his autograph (both English and Chinese).  This guy is trying to get his fifth degree (business, computer science, i forget…) and he says ideally he would be married at the age of 37, although he knows that might not be accomplished given that’s only two years away and he is still single.  Jocelyn commented that James really wants to get married soon, which James was embarrassed about.  They asked Linton how he and Phoebe got together.  Then, Jocelyn told Nike that Hannah’s still single/available.  On the drive home, somehow Linton and I ended up briefly discussing instant gratification, and how that has affected how our generation doesn’t seem to stay at a job too long, the rising divorce rates, etc.

Friday, May 16, 2008.   Greg Wang replied that he was going to join us at Discovery Green (he planned to eat at the happy hour at The Grove but they didn’t have one so he had the cheap food at the LakeHouse which he says he wouldn’t recommend).  At the last minute I called Henry, who said he’d come.  I went to Elliot’s house, and he drove us to see if Charles was home.  He knocked and rang the bell, and I observed upstairs, but we didn’t notice a presence there (his car wasn’t there, either).  Then we went to Henry’s, who said he didn’t care if Elliot’s car didn’t have A/C.  However, Elliot did, so he consented.  Henry drove the three of us to Pappas BBQ (it was okay).  Henry got a half/half combo of sausage and beef slices with potato salad and cole slaw; I got pulled pork with potato salad and candied yams, and Elliot simply got a burger with fries (finally decided against a baked potato).  He also ate our breads that we didn’t eat, hehe, like a beggar. 

We caught the second half of the last UH act.  Henry went to explore the park for the first time since the dance didn’t interest him.  Elliot and I tried to understand but was at a lost.  There were certain patterns, such as their head movements and picking up someone and making a turn, but Elliot made this comment:  “I’m going to tell David [Kalloor] that I saw something he would’ve made.”  Greg said that this is the weirdest of all the acts he’s seen (since he was there on time).  “Green”, which was performed by the Travesty Dance Group, Karen Stokes’ company (she’s also the head of the dance department in the University of Houston School of Theatre and Dance), and the UH Dance Ensemble on the outdoor Anheuser-Busch Stage, was followed at 8:30 pm by a screening of The Cost of Living, presented by the Aurora Picture Show. The 34-minute movie takes place in a seaside town where street performers David and Eddie struggle to find work and romance. The film incorporates sharp humor about the notions of how the fit and unfit are supposed to act.  I loved it– what with their friendship, the hula-hoop girl, the “Believe” by Cher guy with his exaggerated movements, the ballet scene, the bar scene, the insanely hyperenergetic Eddie, the dancing after the rude video non-interview, the last beach scene….not so hot on the fondling and didn’t understand the restroom scene.  I also loved how they showed it, on a huge moon-walk-type screen, hehe!

• Trailer:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itDRZlc7d8U&feature=related
• Part 1:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDTYRbsKcoQ
• Part 2:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrxuexKFPOM
• Part 3:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyAVLc6t5Fg
• Part 4:  …http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcpcujComks
• Part 5:
• Part 6:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHBLrfs2pJc&feature=related
• Part 7:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGjR5h9kYFY
• Part 8:
• Part 9:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQkhQWBx6us&feature=related
• Part 10: 

Afterwards we somewhat played on the playground.  The design was interesting (what is the mound supposed to be? I took a picture of the two of them).  I didn’t know they had the gliding-across-on-a-handle!  We had that in the Sugar Creek park but they took it away.  Wow, Discovery Green even had two height levels.  Yes, Elliot, I relived my childhood memory :).  Linton had to drop off Rebecca at the airport so he couldn’t join us.  He started driving to join us, but the movie was so short so he went to James Wei’s place.  After dropping off Henry off, Elliot and I joined them, where Brian Hui and Chris were as well.  They never DID decide what to do (they ate at Kim Son at 7 pm).  We ended up just hanging around.  They were watching the basketball playoffs on James’s laptop.  Vickie IMed James, so Chris started typing on it, egged on by Linton.  I don’t know if Brian played a part in it, but they did get James to say out loud “Hey baby” LOL.  Then they called Vickie on the computer; she didn’t have a speaker but she could hear us.  She said she heard a female voice.  Linton said lots of girls were here, and Vickie said she’d tell Phoebe haha.  They said it was the TV, but Vickie then thought it was me so she called my cell.  I actually had no idea what was going on, just playing Sequence with Elliot (he got the first sequence, but then I got the last two - with a wild).  The four guys were drinking.  Chris many times had to put a barrier between him and Linton.  James was so tired he fell asleep.  They started doing push-ups with the bar stool, with one hand, two hands, triangle, and rolling on the floor (which James apparently does a lot of??).  I got back home around 1 am.  Linton and Chris left after the game ended; Chris had to work tomorrow and Linton had an Access meeting at 9:15 am.  On the news on the night news, they showed someone with excessive hair with his family and friends.  I couldn’t find the one mentioned on the news, but I did find someone who proudly calls himself the Wolf Man and others who also have Hirsutism / Hypertrichosis. Below are also some other people with rare diseases/disorders/conditions:

• Hand in Hand, choreography by Zhao Limin, performed by Ma Li and Zhai Xiaowei
• “Tree Man” Dede has Epidermodysplasia verruciformis or something related to HPV
• “Pig Baby“ needs support:  http://www.babymiracle.co.nz/ 
• “Elephant Man“
• Blind boy puts on eyes like contact lenses
• Eight-limbed Asian Indian girl Lakshmi Tatma believed by some to be the reincarnation of the multi-limbed Hindu goddess Vishnu

Saturday, May 17, 2008.  Dad left this morning with Gloria Sun’s parents to Austin (since she’s graduating) to drop off Andrew’s VISA to China.  Mom woke me up to join her in a free lunch at King Bo II to honor her dedication in teaching Chinese school at FBCC.  We took up three big round tables.  Stefi, Jennifer Lin, and Rosanna were there.  Stefi’s finishing up her junior year of college at A&M studying biomedical science.  She’s also getting ready for the MCAT, but “I need a backup plan.”  Jennifer worked on a 6×6 Rubik’s cube.  The Chinese ladies talked up a storm.  Howard’s mom, dad, and brother Brian (but not Howard) were also in the restaurant at a separate table.  In the evening, I went to Jing’s early birthday dinner at Goode Seafood Company.  James said there should be a couples table and a singles table, but Jocelyn wanted to sit with the couples, and I wanted to sit with at least one other girl.  It was awkward because Jing’s girlfriend Evelyn sat in front of me, then to my diagonal right was her friend Christine and thus her boyfriend Stephen sat to my right.  The other table had Steve, Will (who’s he?), Jonathan, Linton, Brian, Peter, and James.  Eve sat with her boyfriend, Eveline sat with Michael, and then it was Jocelyn and me and his girlfriend and friends.  Evelyn met Jing during their internships; she’s studying accounting at UT Austin.  Christine is a recent Rice graduate, and Stephen graduated from UT AUstin last year (May 2007?).  They’re pretty and polite but didn’t really converse with Jocelyn or me, only unless we asked questions.  They had their own thing going.  Evelyn does yoga 6x/week and is not interested in swing dancing.  Afterwards the four of them used the helium from the balloons on the table (it’s prom night) to talk high-pitched.  Linton, Jocelyn (4 in a row), and I took lots of pictures then dispersed.  After yes/no/yes/no/yes, Linton and I stopped by James’s place to “help” him pack for his week in Orlando, FL.  I read James’s binder out loud.  Linton drank a Shiner and chatted on IM with Chris (”hey baby cakes”) LOL.  “is this vicky?”  James asked, “Do you like Chris?”  I was lying on the couch but perked up and asked back, “What?”  I couldn’t imagine him asking that outrightly from me, and I was the only female in the room.  But he was asking Linton, so he answered, “Yes.”  That was odd….  James wanted to share “dark secrets” but ended up explaining his job to Linton on his work laptop.  Masturbation was spoken on, though; Vickie said, “I’m sorry you had to go through that [night]” haha.  Eh, I’m used to guys.

Sunday, May 18, 2008.  I talked with my brother on the phone for an hour.  I ate leftovers for lunch, wrote about the weekend, then watched Dead Like Me on TV.  Dad returned at 9:30 pm, as predicted by Mom.  Vickie went out to the UT Rec Fields to hopefully play another game (be recruited if they were missing players, which she was).  She gave me a call.  Dad walked with my mom, then returned and walked with me outside around the neighborhood at 11 pm (interesting that the street lights went off as we passed by, then as we crossed the street and turned around to give it another glance, it turned back on).

Before sending Lewis and Clark west, Thomas Jefferson dispatched Meriwether Lewis to Philadelphia to see Dr. Benjamin Rush. The eminent doctor prepared a series of scientific questions for the expedition to answer. Among them, writes Stephen Ambrose: “What Affinity between their (the Indians’) religious Ceremonies & those of the Jews?” Jefferson and Lewis, like many of their day and ours, were fascinated by the Ten Lost Tribes of Israel, and thought they might be out there on the Great Plains.

They weren’t. They aren’t anywhere. Their disappearance into the mists of history since their exile from Israel in 722 B.C. is no mystery. It is the norm, the rule for every ancient people defeated, destroyed, scattered and exiled.

With one exception, a miraculous story of redemption and return, after not a century or two, but 2,000 years. Remarkably, that miracle occurred in our time. This week marks its 60th anniversary: the return and restoration of the remaining two tribes of Israel — Judah and Benjamin, later known as the Jews — to their ancient homeland.

Besides restoring Jewish sovereignty, the establishment of the state of Israel embodied many subsidiary miracles, from the creation of the first Jewish army since Roman times to the only recorded instance of the resurrection of a dead language — Hebrew, now the daily tongue of a vibrant nation of 7 million. As historian Barbara Tuchman once wrote, Israel is “the only nation in the world that is governing itself in the same territory, under the same name, and with the same religion and same language as it did 3,000 years ago.”

During its early years, Israel was often spoken of in such romantic terms. Today, such talk is considered naive, anachronistic, even insensitive, nothing more than Zionist myth designed to hide the true story, i.e., the Palestinian narrative of dispossession.

Not so. Palestinian suffering is, of course, real and heart-wrenching, but what the Arab narrative deliberately distorts is the cause of its own tragedy: the folly of its own fanatical leadership — from Haj Amin al-Husseini, the grand mufti of Jerusalem (Nazi collaborator, who spent World War II in Berlin), to Egypt’s Gamal Abdel Nasser to Yasser Arafat to Hamas of today — that repeatedly chose war rather than compromise and conciliation.

Palestinian dispossession is a direct result of the Arab rejection, then and now, of a Jewish state of any size on any part of the vast lands the Arabs claim as their exclusive patrimony. That was the cause of the war 60 years ago that, in turn, caused the refugee problem. And it remains the cause of war today.

Six months before Israel’s birth, the United Nations had decided by a two-thirds majority that the only just solution to the British departure from Palestine would be the establishment of a Jewish state and an Arab state side by side. The undeniable fact remains: The Jews accepted that compromise; the Arabs rejected it.

With a vengeance. On the day the British pulled down their flag, Israel was invaded by Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Transjordan and Iraq — 650,000 Jews against 40 million Arabs.

Israel prevailed, another miracle. But at a very high cost — not just to the Palestinians displaced as a result of a war designed to extinguish Israel at birth, but also to the Israelis, whose war losses were staggering: 6,373 dead. One percent of the population. In American terms, it would take thirty-five Vietnam memorials to encompass such a monumental loss of life.

You rarely hear about Israel’s terrible suffering in that 1948-49 war. You hear only the Palestinian side. Today, in the same vein, you hear that Israeli settlements and checkpoints and occupation are the continuing root causes of terrorism and instability in the region.

But in 1948, there were no “occupied territories.” Nor in 1967 when Egypt, Syria and Jordan joined together in a second war of annihilation against Israel.

Look at Gaza today. No Israeli occupation, no settlements, not a single Jew left. The Palestinian response? Unremitting rocket fire killing and maiming Israeli civilians. The declared casus belli of the Palestinian government in Gaza behind these rockets? The very existence of a Jewish state.

Israel’s crime is not its policies but its insistence on living. On the day the Arabs — Palestinians in particular — make a collective decision to accept the Jewish state, there will be peace, as Israel proved with its treaties with Egypt and Jordan. Until that day, there will be nothing but war. And every “peace process,” however cynical or well-meaning, will come to nothing.

Krauthammer is a Pulitzer Prize-winning syndicated columnist based in Washington, D.C. (letters@charleskrauthammer.com)

Darfur: Photojournalists Respond March 14, 2008 through August 17, 2008 Central Gallery   As World War II ended, the world beat its collective chest defiantly and proclaimed it would “never forget” the genocide of the Holocaust so that it could “never again” be repeated. The world – as history has proven – has a short memory. The Holocaust was not the world’s first genocide and it has not been the last. Today, in the Darfur region of western Sudan, the world is confronted with human suffering on a scale difficult to imagine.Hundreds of thousands of people have been killed or forcibly displaced from their homes. The photographers who have witnessed the atrocities first-hand have taken unforgettable photographs that are a testimony to the individual human beings involved in the injustices occurring daily in Darfur. The exhibit “Darfur: Photojournalists Respond” at Holocaust Museum Houston features 30 photographs from eight photographers, all of whom participated in the book “Darfur: Twenty Years of War and Genocide in Sudan,” created in partnership with Proof: Media for Social Justice, Amnesty International and Holocaust Museum Houston and edited by Leora Kahn.This exhibition is generously underwritten by Gainer, Donnelly & Desroches, L.L.P.; Bridgeway Foundation; Sterling Family Foundation; The Simmons Foundation; The Wortham Foundation; Nightingale Code Foundation; Paula Sperber Siegel; Mimi and Gary Wasserberg; and Mixed Emotions Fine Art; with special thanks to Continental Airlines, official airline of Holocaust Museum Houston. A young woman in the Kalma camp. Courtesy, Pep Bonet/Panos Pictures  A young boy looks over the remains of his house after janjaweed Arab militias attacked the village. This boy’s family had to stay in the area because they had no animals to make the week-long journey to the border, and some members of the family were too old to walk. They hid for months, surviving on little food. With the area now under the control of the Sudanese Liberation Army they feel safer and have returned to the village. Courtesy, Sven Torfinn/Panos Pictures Women and malnourshed children at the Kalma camp for internally diplaced persons. Courtesy, Pep Bonet/Panos Pictures  Young girls at a camp for internally displaced persons in Kass, Darfur. Courtesy, Ron Haviv/VII Photos

Darfur: The Challenge of Stopping Genocide 5/14/2008 6:00 PM - 7:30 PM

Speaker: Jerry Fowler Location: Albert and Ethel Herzstein Theater, Morgan Family Center

Join Jerry Fowler, president of the Save Darfur Coalition, at Holocaust Museum Houston for “Darfur: The Challenge of Stopping Genocide.” Fowler will share his experiences from the region, provide and update on the crisis in Darfur, and let you know what you can do to help end it. The presentation is accompanied by the Voices from Darfur video and accompanies Darfur: Photojournalists Respond, a special photo exhibit featuring the work of eight photographers that are a testament to the injustices in Darfur and the resilience of the people living through them. Since 2003, more than 400,000 people have been killed and more than 2.5 million have been displaced from their homes in the Darfur region of Sudan. The Sudanese government has sent its troops and militias known as the Janjaweed to destroy villages, pillaging national resources and torturing, raping and murdering innocent civilians in what the Bush administration has declared a genocide.

Linton took me to the above events hosted to help save Darfur.  The following are some things he said:

• The Houston Holocaust Museum hosts these events because they want to honor those who suffered by remembering and by fighting to ensure genocide doesn’t happen again.
• The Sudan government refuses to grant VISAs to aid workers who want to help the civilians, who are driven to 120-degree-Fahrenheit deserts trying to escape from the violence that they use to control the country.  The speaker technically didn’t go into Darfur.  He wasnt granted permission.  Instead, he went to Chad to talk with Darfurians about their experience and what they knew was happening from the home they were displaced.  Asked why he didn’t apply for a VISA, the speaker said that if any VISAs were to be granted, he wanted them to be granted to the aid workers and not to him.  Kept telling him to apply for a VISA, so he did, and he wasn’t surprised, he didn’t get a VISA.
• Voices from Darfur is a video that demonstrates that the survivors have a desperateness NOT to be abandoned.  They readily share their stories because they believe that if only people knew the devastation that was occurring, someone would respond, something would be done.  SaliM Osman is a human rights lawyer.
• Bahai is an isolated desert town on the Chad-Sudan border: the more one heads north, the hotter and drier it becomes.  By the time villagers reach these towns to try to escape, all their possessions have pretty much been lost.  The cattle they brought with them are dying and dead.  So, to help quarantine disease that would accumulate with these dead animals, they are piled up and burned.  Still, think of the villagers, seeing their last earthly possessions burn up in smoke.  Chad is becoming more and more restless from the fugitives, so they are trying to stop the genocide from spreading into their territory.
• The Janjaweed forces are government-hired/appointed militia notorious for dividing themselves up when approaching a village, to shoot rape, set on fire, and chase.  First they drop to start chaos on the village, as they start running away and trying to get their family together.  Then by the end, the burning is a statement of their intense commitment to wipe out anything in their way.  You can go on Google Earth to see the devastation.  He recounted a story where a woman approached a soldier to perhaps beg for some water from the well that was being guarded (and probably poisoned anyway).  He instead took her, shot surrounding people who tried to help, raped her multiple times and dismembered her body.  The sexual shame that rape brings on this culture ensures that the people won’t reproduce, again making a statement of their intense commitment to wipe them from the face of the earth.
• The Sudan Liberation Army are the rebels of the Khartoum government.  Sometimes, when providing food and water to the civilians who have been displaced, the Janjaweed still attack.
• If you want to put a face to the atrocities, Khayda Ackman is a mother who has disappeared during the chaos of a raid. 
• China unfortunately is a big obstacle.  The Chinese Consulate support Khartoum, Sudan, during UN meetings, really because they’d like to keep the oil coming.  Stephen Spielberg initially was on their Olympic committee (for creative ideas) but finally withdrew his support; he had thought working from the inside would have more bearing but he finally gave up out of frustration (support or against his action).  We want to give the message that, as China is coming out as a current world power with their “party” of the 2008 Beijing Olympics, with their “great power comes great responsibility.”  They can simply abstain; they don’t even have to use their veto power.
• The speaker told us to write handwritten postcards (letters would take forever since they now have to check each envelope for Anthrax, and online is less personal) to President Bush to not join the opening ceremony since even the U.S. is supporting Sudan.  Sudan used to help Osama bin Laden, so the U.S. is trading that information for alleviation of the pressure from the U.S.  Also, we need to help similar groups in other countries to gain momentum and to unite in order to fight this crisis.  We need to let our government know that there is a constituency that cares deeply about this issue, that it’s not all about oil, and that we will not budge until something is done.  UNAMID (the United Nations/African Union Mission in Darfur) still is in dire need of equipment to be sent over.
• Of course, don’t let not being able to do the MOST effective thing (postcard) keep you from doing AN effective thing (signing an online petition).  Yes, it’s easy to think that it is hopeless, it’s been going on for so long.  The speaker encouraged us, saying that many protests and such later, things HAVE been done, such as being able to provide protection to semi-refugee camps, influence in the UN Security Council, humanitarian relief, etc.  And he reminded us that just as there are massacres, there are just as many people who can help stop the massacre.
• What’s the cause?  “Arabs versus Africans” is an oversimplification.  They are all Muslim, but the war has nothing to do with religion.  The government has labeled any ethnic group as a rebel.  The government uses extreme violence to control.  The bottom line is, the leaders aren’t paying a cost for these actions, so we need to up the costs/consequences for them to consider what we are advocating.

The nominated Live Action Shorts:

• AT NIGHT; Denmark, Oscar Nominees: Christian E. Christiansen & Louise Vesth.
  Drama, 40 minutes, Danish w/ English subtitles
  Three young women share their problems while spending the holidays in a hospital cancer ward.
  http://www.dfi.dk/english/Danish+films/ShortByDanishTitle/filmFact.htm?FilmID=20161 - details
• IL SUPPLENTE (THE SUBSTITUTE); Italy, Oscar Nominee: Andrea Jublin.
  Comedy, 17 minutes, Italian w/ English subtitles
  The arrival of an unusual newcomer galvanizes the students in a high school classroom.
  http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/384902/Il-Supplente/trailers - 18-sec clip
• LE MOZART DES PICKPOCKETS (THE MOZART OF PICKPOCKETS); France, Oscar Nominee: Philippe Pollet-Villard
  Comedy, 31 minutes, French w/ English subtitles
  A pair of unlucky thieves find their fortunes have changed when they take in a deaf homeless boy.
  http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi871432473/ - 19-sec clip
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZO7qiRtyJx0 - clips with interviews
• TANGHI ARGENTINI; Belgium, Oscar Nominees: Guido Thys and Anja Daelemans
  Comedy, 13 minutes, French w/ English subtitles
  A man who must learn to dance the tango in two weeks asks an office colleague for help.
  http://www.anotherdimension.be/detail.php?id=tanghi&p=syn#top - details
  http://www.anotherdimension.be/index2.php - trailer requires QuickTime
• THE TONTO WOMAN; United Kingdom, Oscar Nominees: Daniel Barber and Matthew Brown
  Drama, 36 minutes, English
  A cattle rustler meets a woman who is living in isolation after being held prisoner for eleven years by the Mojave Indians.
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUiAksiFHI8 - trailer
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9F5zkAx1aVU&feature=related - quiet dinner
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12t0-wgq0g0 - “Do you know who I am?”

The nominated Animated Shorts:

• I MET THE WALRUS; Canada, Oscar Nominee: Josh Raskin
  5 minutes, English, 2D Animation, Documentary
  In 1969, fourteen-year-old Jerry Levitan snuck into John Lennon’s hotel room with his tape recorder and persuaded him to do an interview.
• MADAME TUTLI-PUTLI; Canada, Oscar Nominees: Chris Lavis and Maciek Szczerbowski
  17 minutes, Silent, Claymation/CGI, Drama
  A timid woman boards a mysterious night train and has a series of frightening experiences.
  http://www.nfb.ca/webextension/madame-tutli-putli/index.php - details
  http://madametutliputli.com/ - adding the emotive eyes
  look on YouTube for: Inspiration, Eyes, Animatic (project proposal), Making of….
• MEME LES PIGEONS VONT AU PARADIS (EVEN PIGEONS GO TO HEAVEN); France, Oscar Nominees: Samuel Tourneux and Simon Vanesse
  9 minutes, French w/ English subtitles, CGI
  A priest tries to sell an old man a machine that he promises will transport him to heaven.
• MY LOVE (MOYA LYUBOV); Russia, Oscar Nominee: Alexander Petrov
  27 minutes, Russian with English subtitles, Drama
  In nineteenth-century Russia, a teenage boy in search of love is drawn to two very different women.
• PETER & THE WOLF; United Kingdom & Poland, Oscar Nominees: Suzie Templeton and Hugh Welchman
  27 minutes, Silent, Drama
  A young boy and his animal friends face a hungry wolf in Prokofiev’s classic musical piece.
  http://www.pbs.org/wnet/gperf/genre/cinema.html#cine_vid - clip
  http://www.breakthrufilms.co.uk/peterandthewolffilm/ - site

I didn’t go see the parade, but this sure is a sad ending to the event:

May 12, 2008, 5:42AM
© 2008 The Associated Press

Authorities say the accident that killed 51-year-old Tom Jones happened just hours after the 21st annual design-and-decorate-a-crazy-car parade had ended.

Officials say Jones had been sitting with a couple of friends outside the museum when a vehicle early yesterday hit a parked car and then smashed into them.

Jones later died.

Police are trying to determine if the driver was intoxicated. Charges are pending.

On the Net :  http://www.artcarmuseum.com