Category Archive

Last night, to follow up from the Astros Run, I went to Borders to meet up with Christina Tam, who drove me to Khon-Whey’s apartment, where Ted was waiting.  Actually, since we were a bit early, she wanted to stop by Walgreens to buy some food (Gatorade, Starbucks, and Airheads), so with her suggestion I also got a big bottle of Gatorade.  JT and Heidi arrived, so Khon-Whey drove them and his fiancee in one car, while Ted drove the two of us in another car, following his white car.  As we headed closer to Minute Maid Park, the parking went up to $20.  We headed backwards and saw Jacky walking, LOL.  We ended up parking in the lot for $5 (part of Ernst and Young?) where Hannah took us that time when we checked out Discovery Green for the first time.  We waited as Ted went to pick up his ticket (originally Denver and Sandra were going to drive us from Chili’s off of Buffalo Speedway, but then they weren’t going to go, so Jacky asked Ted to drive us, so Ted didn’t go home and just picked up Denver’s ticket). 

We were a bit late (7:05 game), and apparently the Texas Rangers had already scored on us Houston Astros in the first inning!  As we were quickly walking, we bumped into Jacky LOL!  We found our seats, and after another inning they all went to get food (I just went to use the restroom from all that Gatorade).  Christina “snuck” her food in (the guy who checked her bag let her go since she was like, “So what am I supposed to do?”).  Jacky stayed to watch all our belongings.  It was a pretty relaxing game since we were always ahead.  Ted had to leave early, then the couples left around the seventh inning.  Jacky suggested we go to the bottom to watch the remainder of the game, and then we hear a large commotion.  We watch the television screen and apparently the Rangers had scored two more on us!  Oh no!  Or as Christina said, “Me and my big mouth.”  We were antsy and sat at the very bottom.  Good thing they didn’t score any more on us.  So we finished 4-3 (without playing the bottom of the ninth inning).

During an hour-plus of the time, Jacky asked me borrow my phone in order to call T-Mobile since he figured out that his SIM card didn’t work.  Jacky took Christina and me back to her car, parked in Khon-Whey’s apartment complex.  Jacky also handed me a Yellow Magazine (I didn’t even know this existed), which featured a picture of us from the dragon boat racing, and two more Astros tickets.  He said he originally was going to go with a friend, but that he and his friend couldn’t make it.  He said I’d have company:  Jonathan and Perry.  Little did I know that by the time of the game tonight, I’d feel like I was set up on a date!  I found it hilarious and amusing because it sure wasn’t on purpose for either of us:

I called Diana since she had expressed interest before (”If you can’t find anyone to go with you, I’d love to go”).  She said she’d call me back.  Eventually I called her again because if she wasn’t going to go I sure needed time to find another.  She confirmed my suspicions, that she wasn’t going to go.  I asked the girls at FBCC, and a few other females.  My dad said he liked watching baseball since it was slow.  I wasn’t sure how to respond, because I don’t really care to watch another game, but I did tell him that he would be sitting next to Jonathan and Perry.  My dad is funny; he said it wouldn’t be awkward since it’s not like he knows them.  True, but with him sitting next to the guys, the guys will definitely go and find out who this married couple is!  And I guess I would feel awkward.  I admit I didn’t try too hard to find somebody to go to the game since last time I did I felt I gave a lot more trouble to myself than needed.  This time I figured, if no one comes with me, that’s okay. 

I went to get some errands done, such as dropping off Food Bank food for a relative (seriously, that house is jacked up).  The husband was sleeping with the television on, so he didn’t hear us knock.  Also, there was a watermelon in the jungle of a backyard.  We stopped by an “optical” but it is closed on Wednesdays, go figure.  Then I dropped off some articles of clothing to mend (exactly $20).  Finally, we headed into Foodarama to buy two dozen eggs for $2 after $10 purchase, so we bought some Cascade dishwashing powder, glazed walnuts and almonds, etc. (not Pearl soymilk because the price went from $0.50 to $1.99).

Jonathan calls and informs me that Perry had called him to cancel.  Jonathan asks me to call James, who tells me to call Chris.  James said he has dinner with someone and then is accompanying Michael to Fry’s, while Chris says he’s tired.  Since Jonathan works less than ten minutes from where I live, he picked me up to go to the game.  HAHA, can you imagine if I had invited my mom and dad?  Date with Jonathan, and meet the parents, too!  No taking it slow for me, LOL!  Anyway, this time we were on time, so we got the free fan item (but it was simply a piece of cardstock with info about the Hall of Fame) and were able to participate in the national anthem and some preliminary family fun.  We watched the first pitch, and just like last night, the Rangers got a run in the first inning, and we got two in the second. 

Jonathan was really nice and stayed with me to watch the beginning (since I missed it yesterday) before we headed off to get food (I had already eaten dinner at home).  He offered to buy me some food, but I declined.  Still, he bought me $4 Dasani water, which was much appreciated (thirsty thirsty!).  He ordered a foot-long hot dog and also got himself some water.  This game was more nerve-wracking because the Rangers got two more runs later on.  Jonathan, as always, has endless facts up his sleeve and informed me of different details while the game played out.  One time three Rangers tried to catch a foul ball that an Astros batter hit, but like in volleyball no one called it and it fell to the ground.  They learned from their mistake, and the Astros took that cue and made sure they called their future balls.  I forgot what it’s called when there’s 3 balls and 2 strikes, meaning that something is going to happen next, either with the batter walking to first base or off the field.  There were many double plays, but there was also a double out by tagging on both sides near the end.  Unfortunately, there were many times when we were close, especially when Ty Wigginton made a double in the ninth inning, but we couldn’t get that last run to tie the game.  Baseball is definitely a team sport.

After two hours, James called and said he’d like to come.  I think there was miscommunication because he sounded pretty hazzled or anxious or something.  Somehow, I felt guilty (I’m beginning to realize that many times after interacting with him I come away feeling I did something wrong, but I don’t know what) and I wanted to tell him to calm down.  But I simply handed the phone back to Jonathan (I missed his call on mine, oops).  Eventually, James joined us.  I have to say, if I felt like I was on a date before, now I felt like I was on some sort of “crash the date” deal with James on my left and Jonathan on my right.  After the third hour (Jonathan says this game was faster than last night’s, since Jacky had called him around 10:30 last night), we left.  James said he had already eaten and was quite tired, so Jonathan took me home.  As he was about to round the U-turn after exiting Southwest Freeway/US-59, Jonathan’s phone rang.  Again.  “I bet you $5 that’s James.”  Ha.  Anyway, by the time he drove up the driveway and dropped me off, coincidentally my parents had just arrived home as well, with the garage door going down.

So I’ve had my non-date with James and my pseudo-date (as Phoebe calls it) with Jonathan. 

Good night.

That’s the name of a guy I met tonight. My aunt took me along to a potluck at Sugar Land Chinese Baptist Church off of Cash Road. We were a bit late so half of the food was gone, but there was enough (there is always enough in God’s house, haha). She ushered me in to sit with the kids. They were either in middle or high school or just finished with high school. It’s considered a small church, and I was told that most people my age see the paucity of a social life and thus attend FBCC instead.  Freedom was a very friendly guy, trying to make us newcomers feel welcome. Most of the regulars all spoke fluent Chinese.  The other “newcomers” were a girl in her senior year of high school and her two younger brothers, Abraham and..forgot. They recently (like a week ago?) moved here from Brazil (”from the Amazon”) so they speak Portuguese fluently, then English, and barely any Mandarin (their heritage is Chinese). She says she used to be in school in California, then went to Florida, then returned to her family in Brazil and settled into a Christian school but now she’s a bit irked since her family moved up here to Texas. She’s thinking her prospects of getting into a good college are now very slim, but she says she’s trusting God that this is in His plan, though she admits it’s hard for her to trust God in that.  

To celebrate Father’s Day, after dinner, they had the fathers and their children play games in the open area.  They played a game where something is stuck to their foreheads and everyone tries to get the others to do/say what is on their forehead (and thus lose).  For example, a boy had “you’re welcome” on his forehead so people would say thank you to him to hopefully prompt him to say that.  Freedom actually had “clap hands” on his forehead and so, without anyone trying to get him to do it, he inadvertently clapped his hands when someone performed well, and thus he got a new card on his forehead, haha.  My aunt cooked up some black soy bean drink to share with a friend of hers who has a little daughter and an older son (who attends the Chinese school at FBCC). The younger children played rock band in the back room; so funny with the little drum set and guitars.

Afterwards, Linton informed me that Melvin was at his house and asked if I’d like to join them.  Phoebe and Chris were already there as well when I arrived around 9:30 pm.  Melvin just caught us up with his life, about trading his dream car that his dad got him for a Fit for its fuel efficiency and hatchback usability, how he came down to ask Pei-Jean’s parents for her hand in marriage (when did Vickie and I talk about this with Jacky and Nathan Kim and Linton around?), how he’s getting ready to get his Master’s degree in teaching (for the sole purpose of a pay raise because otherwise he’s heard it’s useless), Pei-Jean’s job at CDC re: MRSA, the possibilty of finding a new school in Atlanta, GA, etc.  James showed up with his stinky tofu, then Peter, then Hannah came quite later.  Melvin then went around the room asking how we’ve been.  Chris says he hates his job, Linton says his job is okay and he’s thinking of getting a Master’s in the near future (e.g. business, engineering, or something else), I told him I just finished school and will be taking the licensing exam soon, and Phoebe talked about her social work academia.  Melvin showed us his LED flashlight, we reminisced on Melvin’s Facebook profile picture, and Melvin taught Phoebe how to work the Rubix cube.  Bubba that Phoebe bought from Hong Kong was splatted onto the ceiling that it looked like it was coming down through it!  It was also hilarious because they moved it and then later on Linton pointed it out to Phoebe, saying that it had moved by itself.  James took a group picture of us (haha, with Peter in it), then left (after we admired Melvin’s new car).  The rest of us played Loaded Questions:

• What is most important to you in a relationship: looks, humor, personality, or mutual interests? (By the way, it’s mutual interests with an “s”, so it doesn’t mean liking each other back or financial holdings hahaha.) Hannah, James, and Chris said personality, Linton said mutual interests, and Peter said humor.
• What would a tough guy never do? James said strip, Peter said cry, Chris said back off, Hannah said say “aw”, and Linton said pass up an opportunity to protect another.
• What is your most feminine quality? Peter likes Princess Bride, James is emotional, Chris has many shoes, Linton is needy, and Hannah has a motherly instinct

Afterwards they planned on going to IHOP (they ended up buying pancake mix instead), but I left for home.  Remember when I said that it was getting a little easier to say “yes” to the better over the good? Well, I am highly gullible prideful. I used to think I was a good listener, and then I gradually admitted I wasn’t all that with that skill, such as actively responding and gently prodding. Then I thought, well, at least I know I’m patient, and that was obviously not true as I found myself with a short fuse, holding things in, and taking things into my own hands when things weren’t going to turn out exactly as I wanted it to look. I never outright thought I was humble, but I thought of myself many times self-righteously superior in others, and hahahahahaha heh, that is the original sin. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself (Galatians 6:3). Actually, during Loaded Questions, one of the other people asked what is it that you don’t like to share with others (a question to that effect).  After awhile, I scribbled something about not talking about my weaknesses.  I definitely tricked myself so much, I can’t even tell anything anymore. It’s so ironic that back in the day when my classmates were incredulous about the heinous acts during the Holocaust, I spoke up and said that I knew that if I were in their place, I woudln’t be surprised if I acted in that way, either.  It would be horrendous, but not surprising.  Indeed, I am really nothing, or rather, being “found in him,” I do not have “a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—-the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith” (Philippians 3:9).  So the irony is that this previous prideful attitude actually prevents one from truly reaching the level of holiness where one thinks s/he is at.

So, I knew that it was late but wanted to finish the game (around 2 am).  I figured my mom would probably have called, but I rationalized that if I didn’t look at my cell phone, then maybe she had fallen asleep and didn’t even know I was still out.  Turns out, as I was driving out back towards the house, she had just turned into Linton’s neighborhood to get me.  In fact, she saw me turn left onto Avenue E and was in such a frantic rush to follow me that she almost got into a car accident (didn’t bother to check to see the car coming from her right) and revved up to 70 mph to follow behind me (this is a woman who normally drives 50 mph on the freeway when you can go 70).  I was wondering who was following me, hah (I actually made an extra loop to “lose” my pursuant in case, even though I didn’t know what “they” would want of me).  Then I went straight to my room.  My mom politely came in and asked me to tell her next time.  I said, “Yeah.”  Then I went to bed.  Thoughts whirled through my head, a debate really.  So I finally got out of bed, went to my mom, and apologized.  She asked if I heard her calls.  I said my cell was on silent, and was going to leave it at that, but realized that it was another excuse on my part, and added, “but I should have called you.”  My mom, as always, as a mom is, nicely accepted and forgave, and we went to sleep.

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives (1 John 1:5-10).

“My wife’s pain is my pain.”  I realize that I am the one who causes the most grief in this family.  My brother is respectful of my parents and calls them whenever he is (or we are) out when he visits from out of town.  Before he moved out, he helped wash the dishes without asking.  Now that he has, he thinks fondly of my parents and buys them gifts that are useful for certain special days.  He tells me about his relationships (or lack thereof), and I’m like, whatever.  Plus, I…do nothing for my parents.  Or rather, I do..worse for them.  If I cannot honor my parents now, I will not be able to submit to my husband in the future, and especially not to the Most High God. I know it sounds cliche, but it’s so true that the more one turns towards God, the more one knows God is, well, GOD, and that you are the dust of the earth, and the only thing fitting after finding this out is to give Him praise.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:12-14).

Freedom.  What a name.  What a promise.

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free (John 8:32).

Amen.

This past Wednesday James called for dinner and I joined them after FBCC Ladies night (we discussed Chapter 6).  I was expecting only guys as usual, but found to my pleasant surprise that Phoebe, Hannah, and even Diana were there!  Jonathan, Linton, and Peter were there as well.  And I met Sam Tarng, who is currently living where Jing used to live and used to know the twins when they were still in Lubbuck.  He grew up in Plano, TX.  He’s interning here (businnes, accounting..?) for three? months.  Cafe 101 had a drink/appetizer special for $5, so Hannah simply added an appetizer to her drink order. 

Today/Saturday, after going to the library, I came back home to eat lunch (my parents had left to visit Mom’s mom).  Then I drove over to Pastor Dick and Carolyn’s house that they’re renting to help them move.  Daniel and Jeffy were already there, loading up the van to go over to the house the Lee family had bought.  Jamie and Andrew were already there as well, boxing and wrapping dishes.  I helped with the less delicate kitchenware (ie. tupperware).  Then I got the job of emptying the pantry.  We ate leftover vanilla and chocolate cupcakes from “the Quad” from this morning (I’ve no idea what they were talking about).  We snacked on garlic green beans (tasty).  Janet and BJ showed up later, as did Joe.  At the end, we all loaded up our cars and headed to the house to check it out.  It’s 25 years old (the kids will eventually go to Clements High School) but it was nicely revamped recently (the paint was white, with well-done wallpaper for each room, nice kitchen, outside gas line for grilling, large backyard for a pool/gardening/play–Daniel was envious lol).  They were talking about going to the Kee couple’s in Pearland at 4:30 (I guess they didn’t have a full list of the fellowship so I didn’t know about it, but I was too tired anyway to drive to Pearland).

Instead, Linton called at 5:30 to eat dinner at Black Walnut Cafe in Sugar Land with Hannah, Phoebe, Jennifer Yu, Matt Lee, Joanna Yu, and Jennifer Lin.  I went to his house, where we carpooled to pick up Phoebe.  The three of us went to Walnut, where Hannah and Jennifer Lin were waiting.  We got our tables connected then ordered.  I gave Jennifer Yu a couple of birthday envelopes; she gave Hannah some of her wedding invitations to pass out.  I ate at 4pm so wasn’t that hungry.  Joanna listened intently as Phoebe explained social work, which is changing the environment to help people (probably butchered it, sorry!).  It’s really broad, and people can work in both direct and “indirect” services.  Joanna was also thinking of (she currently has a management degree from UT Austin) public affairs.  It’s just that when she initially got her current job she was amazed at how she could be paid for doing what she was doing, yet also helping out with a respected organization.  But now, she is bored out of her mind only working one hour a day.  She spends the rest of the time watching TV and movies on her computer.  Joanna also told Linton about her three-year relationship with Mark.  We stopped by Barnes and Noble then headed to Linton’s house (the Yu sisters and Matt left for a potluck at his church).

James, Sam, and Chris joined us at Linton’s house.  We hung around deciding what to do: Rock Band (Chris already left his apartment and it would’ve been a hassle anyway), a movie, board games….  Sam performed some magic card tricks (the magnet to red/black, slapping with one card remaining, etc).  He learned and perfected them before he went to Mexico on a mission trip.  Phoebe also played “This is the game of snaps” with Hannah and Linton as the guessers (the rest of us observed in curiosity and amazement).  Phoebe was craving a float, and Jennifer Lin was craving cookies, so we went to HEB to buy alcohol, cookies, ice cream, and soda.  We gathered around the table.  Sam and Chris apparently lived pretty close to each other back in Plano and also knew quite a number of the same people (Chris used to go to ACPC?).  They both complained of Houston not having a zoning ordinance, so that commercial buildings are built right next to apartments and houses, which are right next to dilapidated rundowns.  Chris is quite bothered with people asking him for money on the streets.  I found it interesting that the conversation was mostly carried on by the guys (especially Sam) while the girls sat quietly nearby. 

It was quite difficult because I always stay until the very end.  But I had told God I was going to put forth more effort and that I desired to be back on track and all, and that of course definitely included my parents.  ”Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is the first commandment with a promise.”  I had told my mom that I would be home around twelve.  Plus, I wanted it for myself, to sleep on a regular pattern.  I knew that either I was sacrificing time with my friends, or sacrificing again some part of my relationship with my parents and indefinitely with God.  I had to make my choice, so I finally left when the clock hit 12 midnight.  I felt quite uneasy, but I knew it was the right decision.  In fact, I think next time it will be a little easier to choose the better over the good:

• Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—”that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1-2).
• “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12).
• “Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you” (Deuteronomy 5:16).

A rondeau by Paul Laurence Dunbar

(A)  We wear the mask that grins and lies,
(A)  It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
(B)  This debt we pay to human guile;
(B)  With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
(A)  And mouth with myriad subtleties.

(A)  Why should the world be over-wise,
(A)  In counting all our tears and sighs?
(B)  Nay, let them only see us, while
(C)  We wear the mask.

(A)  We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
(A)  To thee from tortured souls arise.
(B)  We sing, but oh the clay is vile
(B)  Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
(A)  But let the world dream otherwise,
(C)  We wear the mask!

This popular form of French poetry is made up of three iambic stanzas with thirteen octosyllabic lines and two tetrasyllabic half lines, together employing only three rhymes.  These half lines are referred to as the refrains, which must be identical with the beginning of the first line.  It was customarily regarded as a challenge to arrange for these refrains to contribute to the meaning of the poem in as succinct and poignant a manner as possible.

Friday.  Christina Tam and I met at Borders so we could carpool to watch Slant.  Craig Wen and Brian Thao-Huane were there, too.  I skipped out on FBCC’s monthly social: Iron Chef!  The secret ingredient was mango, and I heard the results were better than expected.  Jacky called at around 9pm to ask if I could watch their belongings while they did a run the next morning.  Uh..sure….

Saturday.  Christina and I again met at Borders to carpool to Jacky’s apartment, where Ted drove us four to be at Minute Maid Park at 7am.  They prepared, clipping on their running numbers, drinking water in the small cups being passed out, and stretching amongst the air “people” that would occasionally hit us (the way the air was blown and all).  We saw a man on stilts pretend he was a super-tall person, making balloon animals.  The girl and guy bunny suits wearing Astros attire came around to take pictures with the kids and whoever else wanted.  I’ve never participated in this sort of thing, so Jacky explained how it worked.  He paid $25 to participate, but they would get two free Astros tickets with an option of choosing from four games in the future (June 10, 11, 24, and/or 25).  They give you a timer that will start as soon as you step onto their carpet they have at the starting line and would stop when you step on the carpet at the finish line.  Some runs ask you to return the trakcer/timer, but this time they said the runners/walkers could keep it.  This is Ted’s first time, and afterwards he looked pretty winded (was it his knee, since he had a brace on? didn’t ask).  Jacky ran ahead.  Denver stayed with Ted. 

Christina needed coffee, so we walked around downtown.  We saw the “oasis” in front of Christ Church Cathedral–Christina couldn’t believe such a nice place in the middle of downtown.  She said she’d still feel unsafe walking around by herself, if I wasn’t with her.  I also saw some people waiting outside the Urban League.  We finally found this free-standing building all by itself on one side of the street to be Starbucks (good thing we used the map that the city provides atop the sidewalk, thank you Houston!).  At 8am, I bought her a drink (a grande mmchip frapp for $4.50), then we rested for a few minutes (she was carrying her papers to be graded in a backpack, then she volunteered to also carry Jacky’s, Ted’s, and my belongings–heavy!).  We headed back, realizing the run had pretty much ended (that was fast).  We had to walk all the way around since the doors were locked.  When we entered, a wave of stench (sweat and gym) hit my nose (never liked that smell).  Denver saw us, and Jacky encouraged us to get some food (he had his shirt off–not that it was attractive because I barely glanced, but that always makes me feel uncomfortable for some reason).  I stood in line for some lettuce wrap with meat on top (reminds me of that Chinese dish).  Jacky said there were also kolaches, so I stood in line for that.  They lady said, “Ham and cheese?”  Sure.  “Two?”  Sure….  JT said hi, and I think his girlfriend is Heidi.  She looks really familiar but I don’t know why.  Khon-Whey Tay was there with his two friends (they’re a couple of..Asian Indian descent?).  I wanted some fruit and found a pear within the tubs of water/ice/water bottles.  Was it supposed to be there?  I put it back, unsure of it’s cleanliness.  Later, after seeing many runners carrying fruit,  I realized I could use the water from the bottled water to clean it, but the pear was not there anymore.  Ah well.

I was so incredibly tired, even though I didn’t even participate, but since I wanted to have a somewhat normal sleeping pattern, I was determined to stay awake and not take a nap.  Christina and I went to Lowe’s to check out movies and their times.  Nothing particularly interested both of us, so we went to Fuddruckers at 11am.  By the time we arrived at her apartment, we would’ve completely missed the beginning of the movies we were debating on (sure bad at estimating time huh?).  We watched Stardust on her computer while eating lunch (I ate the big dog with chili and cheese while got the burger/fries/shake combo).  Phoebe called to watch the new Narnia movie.  So Christina quickly reviewed through the first Narnia movie on her computer, supplementing with verbal summarizations.  Then I browsed her books (she’s an English teacher at Kempner).  I asked about Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf.  She has no idea why the play references that; she was famous in the literary world and the title is a play on “who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?”  She took a nap while I looked Woolf up: “Dreadnought Hoax was a practical joke pulled in 1910 by Horace de Vere Cole and five friends, including Virginia Stephen (later Virginia Woolf)…Modern diagnostic techniques have led to a posthumous diagnosis of bipolar disorder…The ethos of Bloomsbury discouraged sexual exclusivity, and in 1922, Woolf met Vita Sackville-West.”  She committed suicide.

Christina suddenly got up and realized that it was time to go.  Good going, Christina.  She, Phoebe, Linton, Hannah, Tina, James, Jonathan, and I watched Prince Caspian at 4:30pm at Lowe’s (barely missed the matinee price for movies before 4pm on Saturdays).  Christina left because she was pretty wiped out.  Chris was at work.  I joined them (and Ariel came, too) at Avalon Diner for dinner at 9pm.  I got the turkey/avocado omelette for $10.  They ran out of the recommended-by-the-waitress dish of steak and eggs.  Hannah’s order was right, but James and Jonathan’s dishes were a bit mismatched–Jonathan wasn’t bothered much, just got the pork version.  The main question discussed for the evening was, “If you didn’t believe in Jesus, what religious would you follow?”  Here’s the breakdown: Phoebe said Unitarian Universalism (or Ba’hai or whichever incorporates getting along with all religions, obviously none of us know much), Linton said Mormonism (he arrived back today from Utah for business), and I think the rest of them said atheism (or James said burning incense to ancestors).  I said atheism/agnosticism.

We walked to Borders and sat for a bit (Hannah checked to see if there were any sales).  Then Tina jumped on another’s suggestion to walk to the water, “Yes, Tina needs to walk.”  The girls chatted about clothing (I think Ariel’s going to a wedding), then Tina suggested we get ice cream since Hannah regretted not ordering a shake.  Cold Stone Creamery was near Lowe’s, so we spanned the entire complex I guess.  James is always asking if something is junk food or not, or making explanations that it isn’t junk food.  Yeah….  “Not today” says Jonathan, since he got some.  Hannah got coffee with heath (yum).  Hannah mentioned a quarterlife crisis, which James somewhat related.  Linton says he hasn’t reached there yet, that he is still on the way up/forward to something.  LOL, it was funny how James said that he loved it when he resigned.  I got home at midnight and crashed.

Sunday.  Charles and I drove to Elliot’s house, where the three of us met up to carpool.  (Elliot couldn’t convince Ed to come, and so Pepsi didn’t come either.)  Charles drove us to pick up Henry from his apartment then headed to Jack In the Box at 1212 for lunch.  I ordered four grilled chicken strips for $4.64 (felt like a ripoff).  Then we got to MFAH at 1pm.  We browsed around until 1:30, when they started seating us to watch Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind.  The guys talked about having dirt on each other (and Ed Ly) and using it against each other, revealing it, etc.  We looked at the pamphlet they gave out for this Target Free Sunday (comparing the pictures of plants to their names).  Christina suddenly appeared and sat to my right right when the lights dimmed at 2pm.  I liked the movie because she was really going for understanding.  And she was amazing in all her abilities, as Lord Yupa already professed at the beginning of the movie.  Indeed, “What are you so afraid of?”  A lot of violence is borne out of fear of “the other.”  Henry says she should’ve died (there were Christian undertones), but Elliot said, “No, she has to live, so I can marry her” LOL!  Hey, she’s like Rocky and Gandhi put together, as Dave would say it, haha!  Who wouldn’t find her attractive?

Afterwards we went around to the exhibits (Pompeii wasn’t free).  Elliot teased Henry when he tried to explain one of the drawings on the wall, that the explanation didn’t exactly match what was written on the author plaque.  One artist painted Egypt abstractly (I don’t ever get it, so they make me annoyed).  We spent quite some time in the Korean exhibits.  Henry said he really liked the small wall-mounted plaque statue of the elephant in the other Asian exhibit.  Lastly, we observed the poles that important people carry/use.  Each had something on the top, so there were explanations.  Elliot really liked the one that went like, “Holding a kingdom is like holding an egg; hold it too hard and it’s crushed, hold it too loose and it will fall and break.”  Henry said he liked the quote that went something like, “A crab doesn’t give birth to a bird.”  The one that got me thinking was, “The hen knows it is dawn but lets the rooster crow.”  Christina found it to be anti-feminist.  Jacky called, so I called Wilson about football.  We sat around discussing the next step (board game?  buy Ziggity?  eat?).  Christina suggested we eat, Elliot of course suggested Fuddruckers (to which Christina got all excited about), Henry suggested Niko-Niko’s, and Charles jumped on that and made the decisive push to leave (5:30 pm).  I got the Hercules Plate.  Then we all left for home.  Charles stayed with Elliot to help him with his Microsoft Word.  I end up napping from 7:30 until 9 pm (sigh, so much for trying to stay up until nighttime).  Lil goo-goo took the trash out and left for her workplace.  I watched Dead Like Me because it was the only thing on and then went back to bed.

Not the television series season finale tonight.  That’s just how I describe how I’ve been feeling for quite some time.  And that’s what I’ve been telling people.  Like I wrote in an email three weeks ago when asked for a prayer request:  “On a personal note, I still feel lost, but it’s not this big suffocating weight and desperation, and I don’t really think it’s a bad thing either.  Still, I think what was said at Bible study was right on target, I really don’t even know what to specify except that I really haven’t touched that Bible in forever.  I used to read it every day.  So that is a step.  But just everything is on my mind really, like counseling and church and career and stuff….”  Before, it was this feeling of desolation that would be the catalyst of a stampede of thoughts that no one cares (e.g. second-guessing my friends and family, perceiving past gatherings from under the shadow of a dark cloak).  Just as Phoebe knows her fear of the stage is irrational, I know these thoughts are irrational, but it still doesn’t much help with untangling that knot during the deer-in-headlights moment.  Depression is irrational!  Or is it?  I remember Hannah made a comment after watching Lifting the Veil, saying she somewhat believes that some who have depression are more in tune with reality than us “normal” people because we “ignore” the atrocities and stick with an “illusion” of rosiness in order to not go “crazy.”

“Keep Breathing”
by Ingrid Michaelson

The storm is coming but I don’t mind.
People are dying, I close my blinds.

All that i know is I’m breathing now.

I want to change the world…instead I sleep.
I want to believe in more than you and me.

But all that I know is I’m breathing.
All i can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

All that I know is I’m breathing.
All I can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

Anyway, I guess this is as good a time as any to at least sort a smidgen in my mind/heart/spirit:

COMMUNITY
Genesis 35:11

Last Thursday I drove my parents to Austin to pay a last visit before my brother left for one week (to visit his former roommate), to give him his luggage (so he can pack), and to clean out his fridge (because he can leave food on the stove and not ever eat or clean it out).  My brother and I are very close.  We grew up with the same parents and familial history, in the same household, went to the same school for awhile, even were in the exact class and period for a class or two in high school (personal tutor, baby!).  We initially hung out with the majority of the same acquaintances (and lack thereof) and shared in the same struggles regarding church and friends and connectedness that we still discuss to this day, many times while in his room chatting up to the wee hours of the night/morn and our parents would come and say time to go to bed!  We are considerably different when you meet us, no doubt, as I am more like our mother and he is more like our father.  And in fact since high school we have led very different lives and rarely hang out or even talk with the same people, friends, or each other.  Nonetheless, during those occasional phone calls, I would say that I still feel close and  would still reveal much embarrassing/humbling/shameful things to him.

By the way, he had moved into a new apartment (from the urgings of his currently ex-girlfriend) and bought some furniture.  Where did they come from?  The famous Craigslist.  I have never been to the site, but many many people have made references to it.  From my understanding, it’s a virtual (that sometimes eventually leads to a physical) place where people can sell and exchange practically anything, from sofas and endtables to jobs, pets, and discussions.  It reminds me of Facebook and Myspace, two sites which Jennifer Garcia is part of and asked me if I was as well (I’m not, and actually most people in FBCC don’t have Facebook).  I’m not part of Craigslist, either, but is it something to BE a part of?  But those in Facebook and Myspace are still part of that network since they are still signed up in it, right?  Am I still part of Xanga if I decide I won’t write in it anymore (no activity), even if I have two blogs hosted on it?  You used to need an account to leave a comment, but now you don’t.  Do those who have never signed up part of Xanga if they leave a million comments on others’ Xanga blogs?  What does it mean to be part of a community?  What does it mean to be part of a church, and to be part of His Church?

FELLOWSHIP
Acts 2:42-47

I have been faithfully attending church services on Sundays since childhood.  But this past January, since I’ve always hated it (since middle school and El Paso, and even in Austin), I made a conscious decision to just stop going.  I made no effort to wake up earlier than usual, and even if I did, I didn’t even consider the possibility of perhaps attending.  Not until I figure out which church to attend regularly (do I want to stick with FBCC with its new chapter?), why I feel the way I do about it (is it the environment, the specific social situation?), and my reasons for going.  Three Sundays ago, I told Tiffany that though I haven’t really been communing with God lately, and though I have never ever exactly lauded FBCC, I have come to the conclusion to return to FBCC.  Now I have to dissect what that entails.

Regardless of its vagueness, it was a difficult decision.  Vickie is in San Antonio, so that’s why she says she continues to attend WHCC (her default).  However, she says that when she returns to a more permanent stay in Houston, she’ll move to Access, which is where Phoebe and Linton are fellowshiping now.  Access is starting out as a small but highly committed group.  When it grows in size, how will it look like?  Are people still going to connect?  To start off last fall, Pastor Ted asked his congregants to read The Celtic Way of Evangelism: How Christianity Can Reach the West…Again by George G. Hurton III.  In it, the key to evangelism is through understanding and living as a fellowship among the people, and in time they will open their hearts to the God who knows them.  The old Roman way was for people to believe before they can belong, while the new Celtic way is for you to belong and eventually believe.  In other words, the community and not an individual brings you to Christ.  In many ways, it’s easier to tell someone the Gospel than it is to take someone where s/he consistently experiences the Gospel.

How do we belong?  I sure feel like I belong to WHCC and HCC more than FBCC.  I know I am at fault for not terribly trying much, but even though I don’t really try, I get invited to their birthday parties, their holiday celebrations, and their event gatherings.  They even apologize profusely for forgetting to add me onto their list and making sure I am included next time.  On the flip side, I try the hardest with FBCC (but not my hardest in general) by calling and emailing them to contact me to hang out, and instead I’ve come to expect voicemail and oh yeah, this is what we’re doing right now, if you want to come.  Is it because at least one or two people keep track of me at WHCC and HCC, but no one does here at FBCC?  That could make all the difference.  Or is it that I expect more (and keep a record of wrongs?) because I have decided to be included at FBCC but I am nonchalant with whether I am invited to WHCC or HCC?  I remember back in January there was a slew of WHCC birthdays, and then in February there was a slew of FBCC birthdays.  Somehow, I ended up going to the WHCC ones but not the FBCC ones as much; I don’t remember now, but at the time was it due to scheduling conflicts or did I finally decide to attend the WHCC ones because I was more comfortable with them?  What does it mean to expect the worse but hope for the best?  How do you have high expectations but….? 

When I entered college, I checked out a handful of Christian gatherings.  I joined a small group that was part of the then-called Chinese Bible Study because it was the thing to do and everyone kept emphasizing them.  Our group fell apart,one by one, until it was just the Bible study leader, me, and this girl who was highly committed and hadn’t yet accepted Jesus.  I felt sorry, but that wasn’t going to cut it, so I left highly disappointed and joined CCC.  Later, I learned that one of the girls who wasn’t that much of a believer became good friends with Kara and eventually made an amazing transformation through His grace.  The thing is, though you can encourage group ownership, it sure can’t be forced.  Anyone knows nagging doesn’t work, although we find ourselves doing it.  Haven’t you noticed with some you just click instantly and with others you don’t?  Some people find you dull, while others find you exciting, or at least around them somehow you light up.  Even if you give all the time you can, with all the sincerity and effort, with both of you seeking, even if you lived near each other.  Reminds me of that girl from Chicago: we had an affinity towards each other so we’d decide to meet up and all, but anyone can tell from our conversations that somehow we just weren’t clicking.  Eventually we both decided without words to call it off.  She was a smart and pretty girl; I wonder where she is now after UT Austin pre-pharm classes.

Maybe we’re defining incorrectly.  Back in high school, I was elected to be the Science Club president, with a new teacher sponsor.  It bothered me that our definition of a member was someone who paid the fee.  There were those who were super dedicated, coming and helping at every single event, while others never showed up but they did pay the money.  I didn’t enjoy being president, so for me to keep everything running was as good as it was going to get, not trying to change their pre-existing system.  Magnificat has an application process but afterwards you’re in for life.  Even with years of hiatus you are always wlecome to come back and use the resources.  I met Annie Shen at an HCC gathering, and she says she hangs out with HCC, serves in her home Asian church, and then attends a more American (or African-American?) church on Sunday mornings.  Seems fragmented and yet, is that something I want to imitate?  In a way, her method demonstrates that we together are the Bride of Christ.  Vickie’s always running around hanging out with all these groups because we are all interconnected (actually, if left to my own devices, I really don’t care to make new friends). 

Indeed, it is impossible to know everyone, even within a single church building (”Abandon Committees, Skip Teams, and Embrace Communities” by George Bullard), so is there significance in “choosing” a church?  Are we to attend, serve, and gather within one?  What does the modern-day “fellowship of the believers” look like?  I think my problem would be choosing, because many times events have been booked for the same weekend.  Do I even it out?  Or instead, focus?  Still, I remember in the past when someone at FBCC needed a bone marrow transplant due to leukemia; the whole church gathered together.  We have also drawn together to fundraise for missions we support.  And the Chinese churches have gathered together for events as well (although it appears that FBCC does that less than the others).  Our mechanic, dentist, realtor, and family physician all were borne from the network of these Chinese churches.  It’s like “The New Science of Networks” by Albert-Laszlo Barabasi (who wrote it after reading “The Strength of Weak Ties“ by Mark S. Granovetter).

Still, when I went to RecWeek it was a big deal since I didn’t commit myself to InterVarsity but to CCC:EPIC (who has their own similar conference: DWC)–the IV leader went to the CCC leader to make sure they knew about me and it was okay with them!  Actually, it is the close relationships I formed in EPIC, not IV, that continue to live on.  I’ve still visited Josh, sent a card to Jonathan Le, had a few meals with prayers and talks of our spiritual struggles with Marie when she stops in town, and exchanged sparse emails with Iris.  Which reminds me: before the birth of EPIC, Alice and I were part of a CCC cell group.  The concept is that, as it grew, it would split and thus multiply.  We had to decide who we wanted to go with: Ophelia or Kristen.  I couldn’t decide at all.  Eventually, on the Jester steps, Iris poured out her heart and tears and basically begged me to be part of the one she had chosen.  I don’t remember if I had chosen one yet at this point, or if I ended up choosing the one that she asked me to be a part of, but I just remember this particular heart-wrenching moment.  I’ve never felt so loved and accepted.  And then, even leaving a comment on a random Xanga where they just started their own EPIC, I never would have imagined that eventually she would pray for my sins, and then point me (with Rudi) to spent one night of our two-week road trip at a stranger’s apartment.  Not only did this sister in Christ open her place for us and provide hospitality, she also prayed for and over us.

FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS
Luke 15:1-7

Perhaps Josh had a better glimpse of how this all operates when he wrote his journal entry on seasonal friendships.  On the snowboarding trip, not only did I reinforce previous friendships but also forged new ones.  Liz prayed for me when she didn’t even know me, only because she knew I needed the spiritual support.  Now we still exchange postcards and emails.  I haven’t spoken to Ruth since I’ve moved back from El Paso; she was a wonderful roommate.  During the student orientation at UT Austin, somehow I ended up hanging with a Hispanic girl and an African-American guy.  I remember the incident when we were eating some free food in a large banquet hall, and he said that he really stood out.  “Because we’re under the skylight?”  “No, because I’m the only black person in this room.”  It was really nice to not be alone and to share the experience with others in the same boat.  I remember her waving at me later, and he visited my dorm freshman year, but now I don’t even remember his or her names (or faces….).  When we graduated, Sapna gave me an old photograph of when the three of us (including Reena) were in second grade? and I had played this detective game with them by planting clues: ”It takes a long time to grow an old friend.”  Back in high school, Carla Ortiz gave me this:  “Thanks for being my friend & for being the caring person that you are to me.  Your the GREATEST friend.  Happy B-day to a friend that means ALOT to me.”  I remember thinking, this is so out of nowhere!  I don’t recall any conversations we’ve had in the past, and ever since I have not a clue what’s going on with her.  She says I’m such a great friend to her, but how?  I know many times I’m nice to those I really would prefer never to hang out with again, but with her it wasn’t even that….

I remember back in Austin, Timmy Chui wrote about The Atomic Tiers of Friendship haha; wonder where he got his ideas.  Phoebe and Hannah have been gone for a week in Hong Kong and will be gone for another week.  I have been contemplating our relationships since I’ve been back at my parents’ place for the time being.  Phoebe and I grew close first semester of freshman year and then agreed to an accountability relationship thereafter until I moved to El Paso.  Hannah and I gelled a connection after her 22nd birthday while exchanging deep, dark, familiar yet unsimilar, privacies.  We’ve hung out I think usually once a week together on the weekends, but of course it’s not like before.  I think other acquaintances (not “friends”) know more about them than I do at this point.  I’m not exactly pining for the days gone by but rather how to take those spontaneous moments along into the future, how to cultivate the environment for our older selves in new stages, for the sake of the gospel, for our children.

I mentioned that we should be neighbors so our kids can play together.  Linton said, “But you don’t even have a boyfriend!.”  Indeed, I’m not even close to marrying, let alone having children.  I never really got to know my neighbors, but it turns out that I know a little more (thanks to my dad) than Phoebe and Hannah do about theirs (they say they’re new).  Linton has to feed their dog Missy, but it seems that in the past (or at least in media), the neighbor usually handles that role.  As I drive towards Dulles Avenue, I always pass a driveway packed with boys who have grown tall and lanky!  I don’t know who lives there, but I’ve seen African-American guys, Asian-American guys, and white guys all playing basketball together.  When Gilmore Girls first came out, what drew me was not only the intelligent banter but the concept that they lived in a (too) close-knit town.  Everyone would eat at the local Luke’s Diner, and then people could hang out on their front porches and say hello to those walking by.  But they sure had a lot of gossip.  (And, as Phoebe said, when Dean made love to Rory, we were shocked.  So much for a clean series.)  I absolutely adored the neighborhood playground my brother and I frequented as children.  Okay, so maybe this concept is now dangerous in this day and age.  Then you can have those “gated communities” that Jessica/Robert/Rosemery (and my brother) are in (compare with the med center condos that Alison/Wilson/Cindy live in).

MARRIAGE
Ephesians 5:22-33

I always say that I feel more comfortable around guys than girls (verus for Linton he says he grew up feeling more comfortable around girls than guys).  The past few weeks I wonder how I came to that conclusion, both mentally and subconsciously in how I act.  I mean, I hung out with both while in school (and senior year it was a table of all females during lunch, man I miss Arlene and oh, her birthday was this past Sunday), and at church it wasn’t like the guys in my class treated me better than the girls.  I would also say that I have more guy friends than girl friends, yet if I lost my guy friends I would be sad but not as devastated as if I were to lose a friendship with a girl. 

Chris Sun is a prime example.  In fact, I’m almost hesitant to call him a friend.  Is he more of a…frequent acquaintance?  Seriously, the only reason we hang out is through Linton (and satellite friends).  I have a [funny] birthday card that he gave me freshman year.  Little did I know then how rare that is.  Yet he’s probably going to be one of Linton’s groomsman, and I did invite him to my birthday dinner, I guess to even it out.  I also invited Nathan Kim, and we rarely talk.  In fact, we just see each other at football and usually don’t even exchange words.  But I know if I am in need of prayer or other help, he will respond, as he always emails back amidst his numerous activities.  And then there are Andrew, Nathan, and Inch.  Well, I haven’t been in contact with them for quite a long time now, but it’s okay.  I think I feel closer to them than the other people I’ve met from football simply because I met them through Vickie, and somehow that changed the dynamics in how I associate with them, like sending them Christmas cards.

Haha, remember when Tina Chen thought that David Kalloor and I were dating because he’d come over so often freshman year before either of us made many new friends?  It never occurred to me, and I never ever did/will have that thought concerning him.  Whereas with Siwei we, I have no idea how, hit it off right off the bat (where/when/who).  I could tell him everything that I tell my brother–that’s how close I felt with him.  But I barely met him.  At first I clung to thinking, “What does it mean to know my husband?” but like friendships, there are those you just click with and those you don’t.  So I’ve let go of that.  When I said no in Austin to a sweet guy who asked me out, he asked if it was because he didn’t believe in God.  “No, I’m just not attracted to you.”  Somehow, I didn’t feel it.  

Although, I think that has to do with our current culture.  If parents don’t approve of your choice nowadays, that’s usually overlooked instead of trying to reconcile.  In past customs (like the dowry) and in prevailing traditions (like the father “giving away” the daughter) though, it’s really a relationship between the two families, if not also between/within churches (The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony by Pamela Paul), dating with the approval of your community, who is in the place to help you weigh in the other factors of values and also keep you accountable.  That’s probably why Erwin and I are somewhat okay when thinking about arranged marriages.  I think the problem occurs when they make matches due to affluence and distinguishment, etc, as all humans end up messing up good systems.  My question to myself is, “If a guy I highly respect were to ask me but I just wasn’t feeling it, even after multiple extended rendezvous, would I accept?”  I think this is the wisdom I need to ask God about: the ability to discern whether an obstacle is the result of the need for discipline/perseverance (hurdle) or is the result of the need for a detour/fork (wall).  That’s what I’ve been trying to consider about waking up early, memorizing verses, personality in socializing, planning (using a planner works great for me, but Jennifer Lin says it doesn’t help her at all), kit with relatives, exercising, friendships as mentioned above, love languages….

PURPOSE
John 17:4

Last Wednesday, we met for FBCC Ladies’ Group.  The overall concensus was, we have no idea where we are headed and how our stories will end on earth and continue in heaven.  Many are figuring out whether to change to an entirely new area of study, or at least a new job within their current finished schooling.  The competition rises each year it seems among valedictorians/salutatorians, and I am amazed at just how ambitious and passionate they appear to be; you wonder if they will reach it, and if they will find satisfaction in reaching it.  As the dark clouds slowly dissipate, at times an epiphany or some clarity will shine through, but then it quickly disappears and I’m in a fog again, but still in a better state for seeing it.  I’m usually at peace when I think that I will be married while going about the house, how I’ve always vaguely but contentedly imagined it, helping supporting supplementing whatever he endeavors.  Despite that, Proverbs 31 had always bothered me, but even now the Proverbs 31 woman is now a celebration and challenge.  This always-wife desire and this in-the-Bible-but-doesn’t-seem-right disenchantment is finally coming together.  I guess I didn’t realize that it made me feel intimidated, incompetent, hopeless, exhausted (in my own power) like reading the goals of the graduates.  Instead, as God is making us perfect, as women He is making us her (His power with our participation), in our own unique ways. 

Of course, having “peace” doesn’t always mean I’m on the right track, but again you can’t discount it either.  I get restless when I think that I have been blessed beyond what I could’ve asked or imagined and with that comes the stewardship of making great strides for His kingdom (and thus even before believing but being raised in church, missions was always attractive to my naive eyes).  The thing is, ultimately we are to obey and glorify, NOT to change the world.  I think it is in this that I am transitioning from abstractness into something more pragmatic, as I am slowly lifted out and glean the gems that can only be understood from coming out of trip-ups, temptations, and trials.  I was all tangled up in my buzz words of community/friends/romance/vulnerability/missions/reconciliation/prayer, I’ve forgotten to “look up!”  I’ve been trying to figure out what God has given me a gift in, where God has placed my passions in, and how it could all work in this current culture, but conclusively regardless of techniques and training, the umph will be from God.  

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.  Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.  All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.  For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! (Philippians 3:7-16, Romans 11:36).

AMEN.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008.  The twins left this morning with their parents to visit Hong Kong for two weeks.  It’s the twins’ first time!  Phoebe was so sweet and sent me a postcard right before she left.  Linton called in the afternoon and asked if I wanted to hear a speaker talk about Darfur that evening.  Sure.  He called Vickie (still in San Antonio), and I called Elliot (visiting cousin).  Greg Wang and Chris came, too.  Later the three of us went to Two Rows to meet up with James and Peter to eat.  We didn’t get seated at a booth until 9:30 pm.  While waiting, James was on the phone and the three guys were chatting about who knows what.  They each ordered a Strawberry Blonde? beer in the meantime.  I was standing idly around awkwardly.  Then, the benches were empty so Linton and Chris sat down on one bench and Peter sat down next to me.  I picked up the Houston Press that was on the bench.  I flipped it open and the top said “Art” so I started reading.  He asked, “Do you you like art?”  I answered that I did, that I’ve had comments that I was pretty good at it (but I admit it’s only because I was copying), but I never thought to pursue it due to the influence of my upbringing.  Now that I’m out of college, I’ve starting contemplating the meaning of art, that it ISN’T a waste of time.  Peter agreed, saying that our parents push only for business, medicine, or law.  I said that they didn’t exactly push those specifics, but they DID push in their nondirect way for something that is likely to be viable soon out of college.  Somehow we segued into comedy.  He informed me of The Aristocrats (which initially I was imagining The Producers previews).  He said he wanted to be able to do that someday, just on-the-spot give a sparkling rendition of the joke.  I didn’t know that the Bob Saget was a well-rounded comedian, meaning that he also uses pretty foul language when not on family-friendly shows.  We discussed comedy in general, like cussing at every other word (or faking stereotypical accents all the time) is really desperation, not smart humor (this includes the Silk Mangos).  He tried to name a few that weren’t too sexual, but it was funny how Chris and James completely refuted them, saying that they were pretty bad.  After we were seated, Braden showed up with Jennifer Ma.  Jennifer didn’t remember Chris or me, but she did realize that she knew Peter.  I learned about Braden’s brother Daven’s marriage.  Jennifer left, Susan came later, then the couple left with like 5 beers ($1 during Wednesday Happy Hour).  I ordered the pot roast sandwich with beans, which the waiter recommended, but I got mushrooms, so I asked, and so I got to eat both, hehe.

Thursday, May 15, 2008.  James called to invite me to dinner at Yantze.  He said maybe Linton could pick me up, so I called.  I went to his house, then he drove us to Phoebe/Hannah’s to feed Missy (who’s 10 years old).  They turned off their water, so he had to scoop it up to distribute.  I’ve never really got a good look at her before.  It was cute that they gave her a big umbrella over her doghouse.  Linton told me not to mess with a hole in the ground, which is a favorite spot of hers–interesting.  Linton says he usually gives her two doggie treats, and I got the preferred one (a red cylindrical stick), but I guess since I was a stranger to her she wouldn’t take it from me.  Then, she ate the other bone-shaped treat.  Linton finally said that I probably shouldn’t be taking pictures with the flash because she might be interpretting it as lightning.  Peter was at dinner as well (his Mandarin Chinese last name is the same as mine).  As we walked to decided between JuiceBox and Star Snow Ice and Teriyaki, we saw Jocelyn Chen and Nike eating at FuFu’s.  They joined us at Star Snow afterwards.  Originally it was going to be more people but turned out only the two of them showed up.  James and Jocelyn met him at the Meta retreat.  He got his name because his ex-girlfriend gave it to him.  He later found out that his sister ended up with the name Nike as well, and they were thinking of changing his name to Adidas since he has everything (sponsor) of that, but he didn’t change it.  When Linton found out that this 35-year-old used to be on some sort of official Chinese basketball team, he asked for his autograph (both English and Chinese).  This guy is trying to get his fifth degree (business, computer science, i forget…) and he says ideally he would be married at the age of 37, although he knows that might not be accomplished given that’s only two years away and he is still single.  Jocelyn commented that James really wants to get married soon, which James was embarrassed about.  They asked Linton how he and Phoebe got together.  Then, Jocelyn told Nike that Hannah’s still single/available.  On the drive home, somehow Linton and I ended up briefly discussing instant gratification, and how that has affected how our generation doesn’t seem to stay at a job too long, the rising divorce rates, etc.

Friday, May 16, 2008.   Greg Wang replied that he was going to join us at Discovery Green (he planned to eat at the happy hour at The Grove but they didn’t have one so he had the cheap food at the LakeHouse which he says he wouldn’t recommend).  At the last minute I called Henry, who said he’d come.  I went to Elliot’s house, and he drove us to see if Charles was home.  He knocked and rang the bell, and I observed upstairs, but we didn’t notice a presence there (his car wasn’t there, either).  Then we went to Henry’s, who said he didn’t care if Elliot’s car didn’t have A/C.  However, Elliot did, so he consented.  Henry drove the three of us to Pappas BBQ (it was okay).  Henry got a half/half combo of sausage and beef slices with potato salad and cole slaw; I got pulled pork with potato salad and candied yams, and Elliot simply got a burger with fries (finally decided against a baked potato).  He also ate our breads that we didn’t eat, hehe, like a beggar. 

We caught the second half of the last UH act.  Henry went to explore the park for the first time since the dance didn’t interest him.  Elliot and I tried to understand but was at a lost.  There were certain patterns, such as their head movements and picking up someone and making a turn, but Elliot made this comment:  “I’m going to tell David [Kalloor] that I saw something he would’ve made.”  Greg said that this is the weirdest of all the acts he’s seen (since he was there on time).  “Green”, which was performed by the Travesty Dance Group, Karen Stokes’ company (she’s also the head of the dance department in the University of Houston School of Theatre and Dance), and the UH Dance Ensemble on the outdoor Anheuser-Busch Stage, was followed at 8:30 pm by a screening of The Cost of Living, presented by the Aurora Picture Show. The 34-minute movie takes place in a seaside town where street performers David and Eddie struggle to find work and romance. The film incorporates sharp humor about the notions of how the fit and unfit are supposed to act.  I loved it– what with their friendship, the hula-hoop girl, the “Believe” by Cher guy with his exaggerated movements, the ballet scene, the bar scene, the insanely hyperenergetic Eddie, the dancing after the rude video non-interview, the last beach scene….not so hot on the fondling and didn’t understand the restroom scene.  I also loved how they showed it, on a huge moon-walk-type screen, hehe!

• Trailer:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itDRZlc7d8U&feature=related
• Part 1:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDTYRbsKcoQ
• Part 2:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrxuexKFPOM
• Part 3:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyAVLc6t5Fg
• Part 4:  …http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcpcujComks
• Part 5:
• Part 6:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHBLrfs2pJc&feature=related
• Part 7:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGjR5h9kYFY
• Part 8:
• Part 9:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQkhQWBx6us&feature=related
• Part 10: 

Afterwards we somewhat played on the playground.  The design was interesting (what is the mound supposed to be? I took a picture of the two of them).  I didn’t know they had the gliding-across-on-a-handle!  We had that in the Sugar Creek park but they took it away.  Wow, Discovery Green even had two height levels.  Yes, Elliot, I relived my childhood memory :).  Linton had to drop off Rebecca at the airport so he couldn’t join us.  He started driving to join us, but the movie was so short so he went to James Wei’s place.  After dropping off Henry off, Elliot and I joined them, where Brian Hui and Chris were as well.  They never DID decide what to do (they ate at Kim Son at 7 pm).  We ended up just hanging around.  They were watching the basketball playoffs on James’s laptop.  Vickie IMed James, so Chris started typing on it, egged on by Linton.  I don’t know if Brian played a part in it, but they did get James to say out loud “Hey baby” LOL.  Then they called Vickie on the computer; she didn’t have a speaker but she could hear us.  She said she heard a female voice.  Linton said lots of girls were here, and Vickie said she’d tell Phoebe haha.  They said it was the TV, but Vickie then thought it was me so she called my cell.  I actually had no idea what was going on, just playing Sequence with Elliot (he got the first sequence, but then I got the last two - with a wild).  The four guys were drinking.  Chris many times had to put a barrier between him and Linton.  James was so tired he fell asleep.  They started doing push-ups with the bar stool, with one hand, two hands, triangle, and rolling on the floor (which James apparently does a lot of??).  I got back home around 1 am.  Linton and Chris left after the game ended; Chris had to work tomorrow and Linton had an Access meeting at 9:15 am.  On the news on the night news, they showed someone with excessive hair with his family and friends.  I couldn’t find the one mentioned on the news, but I did find someone who proudly calls himself the Wolf Man and others who also have Hirsutism / Hypertrichosis. Below are also some other people with rare diseases/disorders/conditions:

• Hand in Hand, choreography by Zhao Limin, performed by Ma Li and Zhai Xiaowei
• “Tree Man” Dede has Epidermodysplasia verruciformis or something related to HPV
• “Pig Baby“ needs support:  http://www.babymiracle.co.nz/ 
• “Elephant Man“
• Blind boy puts on eyes like contact lenses
• Eight-limbed Asian Indian girl Lakshmi Tatma believed by some to be the reincarnation of the multi-limbed Hindu goddess Vishnu

Saturday, May 17, 2008.  Dad left this morning with Gloria Sun’s parents to Austin (since she’s graduating) to drop off Andrew’s VISA to China.  Mom woke me up to join her in a free lunch at King Bo II to honor her dedication in teaching Chinese school at FBCC.  We took up three big round tables.  Stefi, Jennifer Lin, and Rosanna were there.  Stefi’s finishing up her junior year of college at A&M studying biomedical science.  She’s also getting ready for the MCAT, but “I need a backup plan.”  Jennifer worked on a 6×6 Rubik’s cube.  The Chinese ladies talked up a storm.  Howard’s mom, dad, and brother Brian (but not Howard) were also in the restaurant at a separate table.  In the evening, I went to Jing’s early birthday dinner at Goode Seafood Company.  James said there should be a couples table and a singles table, but Jocelyn wanted to sit with the couples, and I wanted to sit with at least one other girl.  It was awkward because Jing’s girlfriend Evelyn sat in front of me, then to my diagonal right was her friend Christine and thus her boyfriend Stephen sat to my right.  The other table had Steve, Will (who’s he?), Jonathan, Linton, Brian, Peter, and James.  Eve sat with her boyfriend, Eveline sat with Michael, and then it was Jocelyn and me and his girlfriend and friends.  Evelyn met Jing during their internships; she’s studying accounting at UT Austin.  Christine is a recent Rice graduate, and Stephen graduated from UT AUstin last year (May 2007?).  They’re pretty and polite but didn’t really converse with Jocelyn or me, only unless we asked questions.  They had their own thing going.  Evelyn does yoga 6x/week and is not interested in swing dancing.  Afterwards the four of them used the helium from the balloons on the table (it’s prom night) to talk high-pitched.  Linton, Jocelyn (4 in a row), and I took lots of pictures then dispersed.  After yes/no/yes/no/yes, Linton and I stopped by James’s place to “help” him pack for his week in Orlando, FL.  I read James’s binder out loud.  Linton drank a Shiner and chatted on IM with Chris (”hey baby cakes”) LOL.  “is this vicky?”  James asked, “Do you like Chris?”  I was lying on the couch but perked up and asked back, “What?”  I couldn’t imagine him asking that outrightly from me, and I was the only female in the room.  But he was asking Linton, so he answered, “Yes.”  That was odd….  James wanted to share “dark secrets” but ended up explaining his job to Linton on his work laptop.  Masturbation was spoken on, though; Vickie said, “I’m sorry you had to go through that [night]” haha.  Eh, I’m used to guys.

Sunday, May 18, 2008.  I talked with my brother on the phone for an hour.  I ate leftovers for lunch, wrote about the weekend, then watched Dead Like Me on TV.  Dad returned at 9:30 pm, as predicted by Mom.  Vickie went out to the UT Rec Fields to hopefully play another game (be recruited if they were missing players, which she was).  She gave me a call.  Dad walked with my mom, then returned and walked with me outside around the neighborhood at 11 pm (interesting that the street lights went off as we passed by, then as we crossed the street and turned around to give it another glance, it turned back on).

I stopped by the basketball court to shoot some hoops.  I chatted with Elliot on the phone about agenda and movies.  Then I dropped by Ben and Jerry’s to see David Kalloor before he left back for Austin.  Chris, Hannah, Linton, and Phoebe were there.  Phoebe apologized profusely to me, and I accepted.  David gave hugs.

Then, I went to watch Vickie play her first and only flag football game in the tournament.  She’s on Robert Hwang’s team, the Roaring Tigers.  Wilson of course had his Titans going.  I snuck up on Tiffany, who complimented me on my haircut.  James waved hello.  I sat next to Karin, who was there with her brother John and kites.  I talked some with David Zhao’s girlfriend Tammy.  I ended up cheering for the Tigers because Tiffany Lin, David Zhao, Annie, and Vickie were on that team, plus they had never won a game yet.  Annie’s sister stood in until Cynthia showed up.  Cynthia picked Jeff Tang to play for the Titans since they were missing a player (they were missing a lot, actually).  Inch made some good runs.  I ran/walked two laps around the park with Lisa.  Then we sat on her baby-blue blanket from IKEA.  Vickie asked James Hsia about his car.  Ed’s wife (Kara Wong’s sister) commented on how shallow the conversation was, so James shared that he was reading/memorizing a passage, which he recited to Vickie.

I finally gave Wilson the magic cards, haha.  I thought I was going to leave then, but then Vickie and Ed’s wife (Kara Wong’s sister) said they only had ten plays left.  Well, the Open League’s teams played after the Closed League played (more girls).  Haha, Robert Chan stepped out because he’s not that into sports.  He (he says appears swollen even after two weeks) told Chi-Chi to ask me about her jammed finger.  Jeff Chen, Nathan Kim, and Erin Pang were all on the Open League, too.  In fact, Erin’s the only girl (Joanne Wei was, but when she realized how intense it was, she dropped out) on the team, and by the end of the day she had fractured her pinky finger.  I watched as Rosemery walked their newly owned young dog (”like having to take care of a child”) who was playing with another person’s dog.

We went to Fuddruckers.  Vickie and I arrived at the same time, coincidentally.  She ordered the long hot dog, and I got the S’room combo (I shouldn’t have gotten the fries after all, oh well, starving since I didn’t eat lunch).  I got my food fast, before those who ordered before me.  As I sat down, Aaron Fu introduced himself to me (after Vickie introduced herself to him).  He ended up talking much with Lindi, who sat to my right (he sat in front of her).  Actually, one time he leaned over and whispered something in her ear, to which Jasmine (who sat at the head of the table to my left) asked if they would share with us.  The two of them just smiled.  Aaron has traveled a lot growing up.  Alan Bennett sat in front of me.  I think the three of us had a decent conversation going: Alan says his family celebrates Chinese holidays but not all out, Jasmine asked me about how I met Jocelyn Chen, the two of them talked about.  To Lindi’s right sat Lisa, who was sitting next to Vickie, who were talking with Robert Chan, Chi-Chi, and the Jeffs.  Jeff Chen shared about him leading a small group.  There wasn’t enough room so Wilson, Robert Hwang, Cynthia, and Tiffany sat at a booth and James, John, and Karin sat at another booth.  I left before everyone, at 9:30 because Mom called.

To celebrate Mother’s Day, Mom invited her sister and mother out for Mother’s Day.  Mom had suggested two restaurants, but my aunt wanted to check out Yantze.  My parents picked up my grandmother to meet my aunt, who was already there and had gotten us six a round table.  The 4-person combo was horrible!  I tasted each of the six dishes, and there was much left over, and I really didn’t want to take anything home.  Even the fried chicken was horrid.  We dropped my grandmother off (she said she was going to take a nap and didn’t want us to come up nor did she want to go listen to a Chinese choir sing at Sugar Creek Baptist Church) then went home to eat watermelon “to wash away the toxins.”  My aunt had given us half of a seedless watermelon, which we consumed quickly.  I spent the rest of the afternoon watching Pangea Day videos.  In the evening, Linton drove the twins and me to James Wei’s place, where the six of us (with Vickie) carpooled in Linton’s Camry to Benjy’s.  On the way we asked if we could stop by Chris’s place (since all day he had rented a U-Haul to move in, and then let Chi-Chi use it to move her stuff in), but he said no.  Peter showed up, and then Chris and David Wen did as well.  We went through the restaurant entrance outside onto their balcony.  Eventually we gathered enough chairs and even moved over a table.  Hannah was to my right, then Vickie, Phoebe, Linton, Chris, David, James, and Peter.  David switched around and explained his media work at North____ Church in Austin to Phoebe and Vickie, who talked about what they’re doing right now (e.g. school and the new guy Access is considering hiring).  Chris dropped his hand sanitizer from his backpocket–I found that to be interesting.

I started a conversation with Peter by asking about his vague prayer request.  I feel he gave an appropriate answer, not really wanting to specify but still being able to share about himself (unlike Chris).  He says his problem is not work related (more personal related) and it doesn’t involve him moving away.  He goes to an Ascension Chinese Catholic Church.  He grew up at WHCC, went to a Catholic church, but when his parents found this one–the best of both worlds (Chinese and Catholic)–they switched over.  Initially the top people didn’t like him because he was outspoken about issues (e.g. budgeting), but now they want him, even though he’s sort of stopped serving for awhile.  He share about trying to stay away from smoking, drugs with his friends, coming out since it’s better than staying home since he can’t do anything about his situation.

We were hungry but since the restaurant was closed we couldn’t order the food.  After many drinks, we went to IHOP.  Initially, I heard Hannah asking a series of questions of David Wen.  It actually started with Chris who was sitting next to her, but of course Chris didn’t say anything.  Then, they said it should be one question at a time, etc.  So we started a question “game” where the person on the right asks the person on the left a question, and the questioner answers and the questioned answers as well.  So, starting with Hannah, she asked Linton what was something most of us don’t know about him.  Hannah says that she’s sometimes a bit OCD, wanting to make things symmetrical, like if she touches something on one side she has to touch the other side as well.  Linton said he’s pretty open, and then finally reported he had one hair on his chest.  Chris was hilarious, saying that in fact he did know that, and he wasn’t too keen in having Linton showing it off when they were roommates.  Linton asked Phoebe what she’s most afraid of.  She said she feared missing an opportunity.  Phoebe asked Vickie.  Vickie asked me about an embarrassing moment.  She said that freshman year she tried out for the rowing team but she hadn’t swam in a long time and almost drowned on the way back.  The coach/lifeguard Christian wasn’t expecting to dive in so he took off his shirt and saved him.  Being a hot guy, all the girls rushed to his side and offered their towels.  I couldn’t think of one, so Vickie said who’s a celebrity crush of mine.  I thought for awhile, killing the momentum of the game.  Vickie started giving prompts, like Brad Pitt.  Peter said he’d like George Clooney, etc.  Finally he said Batman, and I pointed at him and said, “Yeah!”  Then I was to ask him a question, and again a dead end.  At first I asked what his pet peeve was, recycling a question that Hannah had asked David, but we both couldn’t answer that.  I asked James if there was anything he’d like to know about Peter, and James said how much does he shave.  I said 0; Peter said daily.  That wasn’t much of a question, so James said to scratch that and ask about SAT score: me with 1360, he with 12– and 16– (he took it twice).  Peter asked James.  James asked David about the worst thing he did.  James shared that it was the time he keyed a truck then stuffed pizza in the handle of it.  David asked Chris what’s one flaw of his and what he will do to change it.  First David said that he mumbles sometimes so he has to talk clearer, and Hannah was nice and complimented on his good gesture use.  Chris then copied David and said that sometimes he mumbles, too.  Then Linton exclaimed that what Chris really needs to work on is his vulnerability, and we all agreed.  ̶