Category Archive

A rondeau by Paul Laurence Dunbar

(A)  We wear the mask that grins and lies,
(A)  It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
(B)  This debt we pay to human guile;
(B)  With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
(A)  And mouth with myriad subtleties.

(A)  Why should the world be over-wise,
(A)  In counting all our tears and sighs?
(B)  Nay, let them only see us, while
(C)  We wear the mask.

(A)  We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
(A)  To thee from tortured souls arise.
(B)  We sing, but oh the clay is vile
(B)  Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
(A)  But let the world dream otherwise,
(C)  We wear the mask!

This popular form of French poetry is made up of three iambic stanzas with thirteen octosyllabic lines and two tetrasyllabic half lines, together employing only three rhymes.  These half lines are referred to as the refrains, which must be identical with the beginning of the first line.  It was customarily regarded as a challenge to arrange for these refrains to contribute to the meaning of the poem in as succinct and poignant a manner as possible.

Not the television series season finale tonight.  That’s just how I describe how I’ve been feeling for quite some time.  And that’s what I’ve been telling people.  Like I wrote in an email three weeks ago when asked for a prayer request:  “On a personal note, I still feel lost, but it’s not this big suffocating weight and desperation, and I don’t really think it’s a bad thing either.  Still, I think what was said at Bible study was right on target, I really don’t even know what to specify except that I really haven’t touched that Bible in forever.  I used to read it every day.  So that is a step.  But just everything is on my mind really, like counseling and church and career and stuff….”  Before, it was this feeling of desolation that would be the catalyst of a stampede of thoughts that no one cares (e.g. second-guessing my friends and family, perceiving past gatherings from under the shadow of a dark cloak).  Just as Phoebe knows her fear of the stage is irrational, I know these thoughts are irrational, but it still doesn’t much help with untangling that knot during the deer-in-headlights moment.  Depression is irrational!  Or is it?  I remember Hannah made a comment after watching Lifting the Veil, saying she somewhat believes that some who have depression are more in tune with reality than us “normal” people because we “ignore” the atrocities and stick with an “illusion” of rosiness in order to not go “crazy.”

“Keep Breathing”
by Ingrid Michaelson

The storm is coming but I don’t mind.
People are dying, I close my blinds.

All that i know is I’m breathing now.

I want to change the world…instead I sleep.
I want to believe in more than you and me.

But all that I know is I’m breathing.
All i can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

All that I know is I’m breathing.
All I can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

Anyway, I guess this is as good a time as any to at least sort a smidgen in my mind/heart/spirit:

COMMUNITY
Genesis 35:11

Last Thursday I drove my parents to Austin to pay a last visit before my brother left for one week (to visit his former roommate), to give him his luggage (so he can pack), and to clean out his fridge (because he can leave food on the stove and not ever eat or clean it out).  My brother and I are very close.  We grew up with the same parents and familial history, in the same household, went to the same school for awhile, even were in the exact class and period for a class or two in high school (personal tutor, baby!).  We initially hung out with the majority of the same acquaintances (and lack thereof) and shared in the same struggles regarding church and friends and connectedness that we still discuss to this day, many times while in his room chatting up to the wee hours of the night/morn and our parents would come and say time to go to bed!  We are considerably different when you meet us, no doubt, as I am more like our mother and he is more like our father.  And in fact since high school we have led very different lives and rarely hang out or even talk with the same people, friends, or each other.  Nonetheless, during those occasional phone calls, I would say that I still feel close and  would still reveal much embarrassing/humbling/shameful things to him.

By the way, he had moved into a new apartment (from the urgings of his currently ex-girlfriend) and bought some furniture.  Where did they come from?  The famous Craigslist.  I have never been to the site, but many many people have made references to it.  From my understanding, it’s a virtual (that sometimes eventually leads to a physical) place where people can sell and exchange practically anything, from sofas and endtables to jobs, pets, and discussions.  It reminds me of Facebook and Myspace, two sites which Jennifer Garcia is part of and asked me if I was as well (I’m not, and actually most people in FBCC don’t have Facebook).  I’m not part of Craigslist, either, but is it something to BE a part of?  But those in Facebook and Myspace are still part of that network since they are still signed up in it, right?  Am I still part of Xanga if I decide I won’t write in it anymore (no activity), even if I have two blogs hosted on it?  You used to need an account to leave a comment, but now you don’t.  Do those who have never signed up part of Xanga if they leave a million comments on others’ Xanga blogs?  What does it mean to be part of a community?  What does it mean to be part of a church, and to be part of His Church?

FELLOWSHIP
Acts 2:42-47

I have been faithfully attending church services on Sundays since childhood.  But this past January, since I’ve always hated it (since middle school and El Paso, and even in Austin), I made a conscious decision to just stop going.  I made no effort to wake up earlier than usual, and even if I did, I didn’t even consider the possibility of perhaps attending.  Not until I figure out which church to attend regularly (do I want to stick with FBCC with its new chapter?), why I feel the way I do about it (is it the environment, the specific social situation?), and my reasons for going.  Three Sundays ago, I told Tiffany that though I haven’t really been communing with God lately, and though I have never ever exactly lauded FBCC, I have come to the conclusion to return to FBCC.  Now I have to dissect what that entails.

Regardless of its vagueness, it was a difficult decision.  Vickie is in San Antonio, so that’s why she says she continues to attend WHCC (her default).  However, she says that when she returns to a more permanent stay in Houston, she’ll move to Access, which is where Phoebe and Linton are fellowshiping now.  Access is starting out as a small but highly committed group.  When it grows in size, how will it look like?  Are people still going to connect?  To start off last fall, Pastor Ted asked his congregants to read The Celtic Way of Evangelism: How Christianity Can Reach the West…Again by George G. Hurton III.  In it, the key to evangelism is through understanding and living as a fellowship among the people, and in time they will open their hearts to the God who knows them.  The old Roman way was for people to believe before they can belong, while the new Celtic way is for you to belong and eventually believe.  In other words, the community and not an individual brings you to Christ.  In many ways, it’s easier to tell someone the Gospel than it is to take someone where s/he consistently experiences the Gospel.

How do we belong?  I sure feel like I belong to WHCC and HCC more than FBCC.  I know I am at fault for not terribly trying much, but even though I don’t really try, I get invited to their birthday parties, their holiday celebrations, and their event gatherings.  They even apologize profusely for forgetting to add me onto their list and making sure I am included next time.  On the flip side, I try the hardest with FBCC (but not my hardest in general) by calling and emailing them to contact me to hang out, and instead I’ve come to expect voicemail and oh yeah, this is what we’re doing right now, if you want to come.  Is it because at least one or two people keep track of me at WHCC and HCC, but no one does here at FBCC?  That could make all the difference.  Or is it that I expect more (and keep a record of wrongs?) because I have decided to be included at FBCC but I am nonchalant with whether I am invited to WHCC or HCC?  I remember back in January there was a slew of WHCC birthdays, and then in February there was a slew of FBCC birthdays.  Somehow, I ended up going to the WHCC ones but not the FBCC ones as much; I don’t remember now, but at the time was it due to scheduling conflicts or did I finally decide to attend the WHCC ones because I was more comfortable with them?  What does it mean to expect the worse but hope for the best?  How do you have high expectations but….? 

When I entered college, I checked out a handful of Christian gatherings.  I joined a small group that was part of the then-called Chinese Bible Study because it was the thing to do and everyone kept emphasizing them.  Our group fell apart,one by one, until it was just the Bible study leader, me, and this girl who was highly committed and hadn’t yet accepted Jesus.  I felt sorry, but that wasn’t going to cut it, so I left highly disappointed and joined CCC.  Later, I learned that one of the girls who wasn’t that much of a believer became good friends with Kara and eventually made an amazing transformation through His grace.  The thing is, though you can encourage group ownership, it sure can’t be forced.  Anyone knows nagging doesn’t work, although we find ourselves doing it.  Haven’t you noticed with some you just click instantly and with others you don’t?  Some people find you dull, while others find you exciting, or at least around them somehow you light up.  Even if you give all the time you can, with all the sincerity and effort, with both of you seeking, even if you lived near each other.  Reminds me of that girl from Chicago: we had an affinity towards each other so we’d decide to meet up and all, but anyone can tell from our conversations that somehow we just weren’t clicking.  Eventually we both decided without words to call it off.  She was a smart and pretty girl; I wonder where she is now after UT Austin pre-pharm classes.

Maybe we’re defining incorrectly.  Back in high school, I was elected to be the Science Club president, with a new teacher sponsor.  It bothered me that our definition of a member was someone who paid the fee.  There were those who were super dedicated, coming and helping at every single event, while others never showed up but they did pay the money.  I didn’t enjoy being president, so for me to keep everything running was as good as it was going to get, not trying to change their pre-existing system.  Magnificat has an application process but afterwards you’re in for life.  Even with years of hiatus you are always wlecome to come back and use the resources.  I met Annie Shen at an HCC gathering, and she says she hangs out with HCC, serves in her home Asian church, and then attends a more American (or African-American?) church on Sunday mornings.  Seems fragmented and yet, is that something I want to imitate?  In a way, her method demonstrates that we together are the Bride of Christ.  Vickie’s always running around hanging out with all these groups because we are all interconnected (actually, if left to my own devices, I really don’t care to make new friends). 

Indeed, it is impossible to know everyone, even within a single church building (”Abandon Committees, Skip Teams, and Embrace Communities” by George Bullard), so is there significance in “choosing” a church?  Are we to attend, serve, and gather within one?  What does the modern-day “fellowship of the believers” look like?  I think my problem would be choosing, because many times events have been booked for the same weekend.  Do I even it out?  Or instead, focus?  Still, I remember in the past when someone at FBCC needed a bone marrow transplant due to leukemia; the whole church gathered together.  We have also drawn together to fundraise for missions we support.  And the Chinese churches have gathered together for events as well (although it appears that FBCC does that less than the others).  Our mechanic, dentist, realtor, and family physician all were borne from the network of these Chinese churches.  It’s like “The New Science of Networks” by Albert-Laszlo Barabasi (who wrote it after reading “The Strength of Weak Ties“ by Mark S. Granovetter).

Still, when I went to RecWeek it was a big deal since I didn’t commit myself to InterVarsity but to CCC:EPIC (who has their own similar conference: DWC)–the IV leader went to the CCC leader to make sure they knew about me and it was okay with them!  Actually, it is the close relationships I formed in EPIC, not IV, that continue to live on.  I’ve still visited Josh, sent a card to Jonathan Le, had a few meals with prayers and talks of our spiritual struggles with Marie when she stops in town, and exchanged sparse emails with Iris.  Which reminds me: before the birth of EPIC, Alice and I were part of a CCC cell group.  The concept is that, as it grew, it would split and thus multiply.  We had to decide who we wanted to go with: Ophelia or Kristen.  I couldn’t decide at all.  Eventually, on the Jester steps, Iris poured out her heart and tears and basically begged me to be part of the one she had chosen.  I don’t remember if I had chosen one yet at this point, or if I ended up choosing the one that she asked me to be a part of, but I just remember this particular heart-wrenching moment.  I’ve never felt so loved and accepted.  And then, even leaving a comment on a random Xanga where they just started their own EPIC, I never would have imagined that eventually she would pray for my sins, and then point me (with Rudi) to spent one night of our two-week road trip at a stranger’s apartment.  Not only did this sister in Christ open her place for us and provide hospitality, she also prayed for and over us.

FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS
Luke 15:1-7

Perhaps Josh had a better glimpse of how this all operates when he wrote his journal entry on seasonal friendships.  On the snowboarding trip, not only did I reinforce previous friendships but also forged new ones.  Liz prayed for me when she didn’t even know me, only because she knew I needed the spiritual support.  Now we still exchange postcards and emails.  I haven’t spoken to Ruth since I’ve moved back from El Paso; she was a wonderful roommate.  During the student orientation at UT Austin, somehow I ended up hanging with a Hispanic girl and an African-American guy.  I remember the incident when we were eating some free food in a large banquet hall, and he said that he really stood out.  “Because we’re under the skylight?”  “No, because I’m the only black person in this room.”  It was really nice to not be alone and to share the experience with others in the same boat.  I remember her waving at me later, and he visited my dorm freshman year, but now I don’t even remember his or her names (or faces….).  When we graduated, Sapna gave me an old photograph of when the three of us (including Reena) were in second grade? and I had played this detective game with them by planting clues: ”It takes a long time to grow an old friend.”  Back in high school, Carla Ortiz gave me this:  “Thanks for being my friend & for being the caring person that you are to me.  Your the GREATEST friend.  Happy B-day to a friend that means ALOT to me.”  I remember thinking, this is so out of nowhere!  I don’t recall any conversations we’ve had in the past, and ever since I have not a clue what’s going on with her.  She says I’m such a great friend to her, but how?  I know many times I’m nice to those I really would prefer never to hang out with again, but with her it wasn’t even that….

I remember back in Austin, Timmy Chui wrote about The Atomic Tiers of Friendship haha; wonder where he got his ideas.  Phoebe and Hannah have been gone for a week in Hong Kong and will be gone for another week.  I have been contemplating our relationships since I’ve been back at my parents’ place for the time being.  Phoebe and I grew close first semester of freshman year and then agreed to an accountability relationship thereafter until I moved to El Paso.  Hannah and I gelled a connection after her 22nd birthday while exchanging deep, dark, familiar yet unsimilar, privacies.  We’ve hung out I think usually once a week together on the weekends, but of course it’s not like before.  I think other acquaintances (not “friends”) know more about them than I do at this point.  I’m not exactly pining for the days gone by but rather how to take those spontaneous moments along into the future, how to cultivate the environment for our older selves in new stages, for the sake of the gospel, for our children.

I mentioned that we should be neighbors so our kids can play together.  Linton said, “But you don’t even have a boyfriend!.”  Indeed, I’m not even close to marrying, let alone having children.  I never really got to know my neighbors, but it turns out that I know a little more (thanks to my dad) than Phoebe and Hannah do about theirs (they say they’re new).  Linton has to feed their dog Missy, but it seems that in the past (or at least in media), the neighbor usually handles that role.  As I drive towards Dulles Avenue, I always pass a driveway packed with boys who have grown tall and lanky!  I don’t know who lives there, but I’ve seen African-American guys, Asian-American guys, and white guys all playing basketball together.  When Gilmore Girls first came out, what drew me was not only the intelligent banter but the concept that they lived in a (too) close-knit town.  Everyone would eat at the local Luke’s Diner, and then people could hang out on their front porches and say hello to those walking by.  But they sure had a lot of gossip.  (And, as Phoebe said, when Dean made love to Rory, we were shocked.  So much for a clean series.)  I absolutely adored the neighborhood playground my brother and I frequented as children.  Okay, so maybe this concept is now dangerous in this day and age.  Then you can have those “gated communities” that Jessica/Robert/Rosemery (and my brother) are in (compare with the med center condos that Alison/Wilson/Cindy live in).

MARRIAGE
Ephesians 5:22-33

I always say that I feel more comfortable around guys than girls (verus for Linton he says he grew up feeling more comfortable around girls than guys).  The past few weeks I wonder how I came to that conclusion, both mentally and subconsciously in how I act.  I mean, I hung out with both while in school (and senior year it was a table of all females during lunch, man I miss Arlene and oh, her birthday was this past Sunday), and at church it wasn’t like the guys in my class treated me better than the girls.  I would also say that I have more guy friends than girl friends, yet if I lost my guy friends I would be sad but not as devastated as if I were to lose a friendship with a girl. 

Chris Sun is a prime example.  In fact, I’m almost hesitant to call him a friend.  Is he more of a…frequent acquaintance?  Seriously, the only reason we hang out is through Linton (and satellite friends).  I have a [funny] birthday card that he gave me freshman year.  Little did I know then how rare that is.  Yet he’s probably going to be one of Linton’s groomsman, and I did invite him to my birthday dinner, I guess to even it out.  I also invited Nathan Kim, and we rarely talk.  In fact, we just see each other at football and usually don’t even exchange words.  But I know if I am in need of prayer or other help, he will respond, as he always emails back amidst his numerous activities.  And then there are Andrew, Nathan, and Inch.  Well, I haven’t been in contact with them for quite a long time now, but it’s okay.  I think I feel closer to them than the other people I’ve met from football simply because I met them through Vickie, and somehow that changed the dynamics in how I associate with them, like sending them Christmas cards.

Haha, remember when Tina Chen thought that David Kalloor and I were dating because he’d come over so often freshman year before either of us made many new friends?  It never occurred to me, and I never ever did/will have that thought concerning him.  Whereas with Siwei we, I have no idea how, hit it off right off the bat (where/when/who).  I could tell him everything that I tell my brother–that’s how close I felt with him.  But I barely met him.  At first I clung to thinking, “What does it mean to know my husband?” but like friendships, there are those you just click with and those you don’t.  So I’ve let go of that.  When I said no in Austin to a sweet guy who asked me out, he asked if it was because he didn’t believe in God.  “No, I’m just not attracted to you.”  Somehow, I didn’t feel it.  

Although, I think that has to do with our current culture.  If parents don’t approve of your choice nowadays, that’s usually overlooked instead of trying to reconcile.  In past customs (like the dowry) and in prevailing traditions (like the father “giving away” the daughter) though, it’s really a relationship between the two families, if not also between/within churches (The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony by Pamela Paul), dating with the approval of your community, who is in the place to help you weigh in the other factors of values and also keep you accountable.  That’s probably why Erwin and I are somewhat okay when thinking about arranged marriages.  I think the problem occurs when they make matches due to affluence and distinguishment, etc, as all humans end up messing up good systems.  My question to myself is, “If a guy I highly respect were to ask me but I just wasn’t feeling it, even after multiple extended rendezvous, would I accept?”  I think this is the wisdom I need to ask God about: the ability to discern whether an obstacle is the result of the need for discipline/perseverance (hurdle) or is the result of the need for a detour/fork (wall).  That’s what I’ve been trying to consider about waking up early, memorizing verses, personality in socializing, planning (using a planner works great for me, but Jennifer Lin says it doesn’t help her at all), kit with relatives, exercising, friendships as mentioned above, love languages….

PURPOSE
John 17:4

Last Wednesday, we met for FBCC Ladies’ Group.  The overall concensus was, we have no idea where we are headed and how our stories will end on earth and continue in heaven.  Many are figuring out whether to change to an entirely new area of study, or at least a new job within their current finished schooling.  The competition rises each year it seems among valedictorians/salutatorians, and I am amazed at just how ambitious and passionate they appear to be; you wonder if they will reach it, and if they will find satisfaction in reaching it.  As the dark clouds slowly dissipate, at times an epiphany or some clarity will shine through, but then it quickly disappears and I’m in a fog again, but still in a better state for seeing it.  I’m usually at peace when I think that I will be married while going about the house, how I’ve always vaguely but contentedly imagined it, helping supporting supplementing whatever he endeavors.  Despite that, Proverbs 31 had always bothered me, but even now the Proverbs 31 woman is now a celebration and challenge.  This always-wife desire and this in-the-Bible-but-doesn’t-seem-right disenchantment is finally coming together.  I guess I didn’t realize that it made me feel intimidated, incompetent, hopeless, exhausted (in my own power) like reading the goals of the graduates.  Instead, as God is making us perfect, as women He is making us her (His power with our participation), in our own unique ways. 

Of course, having “peace” doesn’t always mean I’m on the right track, but again you can’t discount it either.  I get restless when I think that I have been blessed beyond what I could’ve asked or imagined and with that comes the stewardship of making great strides for His kingdom (and thus even before believing but being raised in church, missions was always attractive to my naive eyes).  The thing is, ultimately we are to obey and glorify, NOT to change the world.  I think it is in this that I am transitioning from abstractness into something more pragmatic, as I am slowly lifted out and glean the gems that can only be understood from coming out of trip-ups, temptations, and trials.  I was all tangled up in my buzz words of community/friends/romance/vulnerability/missions/reconciliation/prayer, I’ve forgotten to “look up!”  I’ve been trying to figure out what God has given me a gift in, where God has placed my passions in, and how it could all work in this current culture, but conclusively regardless of techniques and training, the umph will be from God.  

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.  Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.  All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.  For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! (Philippians 3:7-16, Romans 11:36).

AMEN.

Sunday.  My parents came back from church to provide me lunch (FBCC doesn’t provide lunch during the summers since estimation of who’s in town is futile).  Afterwards, I went to meet up with Linton, Chris, and Vickie.  They didn’t want to shoot around, so instead they decided to join those BASIC members who were free that afternoon.  I read in the car (so hot!) while I waited for them to get ready (e.g. for Chris to grab his bowling shoes).  The four of us decided to get started and played two games.  I’m not partial to bowling, but I have to admit that with the three of them I had a great time.  I just told Vickie I look at the tick marks on the bowling alley and she went from 53 in the first game to 111 in the second game, breaking 100 for the first time in her life.  It was so monumental that I found myself jumping up and down in sharing her happiness LOL.  I bowled my average (88 in the first game and 97 in the second).  Linton ended up being the top scorer in the first game (95) by ending with a spare and strike using the rotating method, but somehow he dropped to last place in the second game (87).  His usual method is like having a mini track run up to the edge of the alley and then throwing the ball until it crashes and rolls towards the pins (you have to see it in person haha).  Chris improved his technique and, with some competition from Vickie, bowled a 116 by the second game.  It was so much fun seeing how that ended (”yeah!”). 

The guys left but Vickie stayed since enough BASIC people arrived for them to start playing.  I was formally introduced to Shawn Yu who apparently used to be the roommate of Vincent Tao, George Wu, and Kenny Lew.  I read.  Then they browsed the Barnes and Noble down the street.  Jeff made a pledge at DWC to go on STIM after college, so that’s how he knows Josh Peng.  He says, “And now I’m herein the secular world.  It’s very different.”  He was browsing the management section, saying eventually he would want to start his own.  He’s moving out of Texas the first week of June.

For dinner I joined Linton, Chris, Michael and Eveline, Jonathan, and James (7:30).  It was funny, I ended up right behind James who was driving Jonathan, and they waved hello through the rearview mirror.  At first we were going to eat at FuFu’s, but since it was full we decided to go elsewhere.  Taking forever (but I can’t complain since I wasn’t making any decision either) walking down the block back an forth, Vickie decided to join us after all (she wasn’t hungry but she was hungrier that the BASIC people since they had eaten a big, late lunch).  She suggested East Wall, so we walked over.  We ordered seven dishes (8:30), and the waitress was somewhat pressing for us to order another entree.  I’m not sure if she was concerned about the superstitioun that eight is complete for luck, or if she was using that as an excuse for us to order one more dish, or if she thought we wouldn’t have enough to eat.  Peter joined us later. 

We headed to James’ condo and eventually decided to play Monopoly, with a drinking element.  I had assumed I wasn’t playing since I wouldn’t be drinking alcohol, but they slapped a handful of money in front of me.  So many people talking at once that people kept asking how many of each bill was needed, that eventually Linton a bit frustratingly repeated himself.  Eveline was studying for her pharm tech exam on Wednesday, but she ended up being the banker by the end.  Peter (hat) convinced Chris (’Das boot!’) to give him the yellow properties for a complete set, so Peter eventually won.  For a few moments I think he was thinking he may need to form an alliance, since we were ganging up on him, and tried to do so with Vickie, Jonathan, and then me.  I didn’t land on any property I could buy until near the end, with New York Avenue.  Linton didn’t have much more luck, only ending up with the Electric Company and a purple, which he ended up having a complete set after trading some railroads.  He was advocating for me so much, saying that someone rich needed to donate something for me, so I could at least build something and feel part of the game.  Awwwwww.  In response, James just suddenly said, “Here, donation” and dropped the Water Works property in front of me LOL.  Man, you just had to be there. 

Chris had no idea the consequences of his trade (he had initially wanted to make the deal sweeter to give Vickie a blue property (not cyan, as Linton pointed out haha!) with some railroads so that she would give him orange-red property, but she declined).  Eventually Chris traded with Jonathan so he finally had his complete orange-red set and Jonathan had his green set.  James had the cyan set after trading (he at first was saying how little possibility it was to end up having a complete set - been a long while since he’s played, eh?) with Michael (to have a complete purple-red set), who was quite quiet.  He didn’t drink either.  They had decided about drinking during landing on houses, hotels, jail, luxury tax, and income tax.  In the beginning, Vickie left briefly and when she returned and rolled her dice, she accidentally knocked down a couple of people’s playing pieces, so that they decided she had to drink for that (and eventually many more for others in the course of the game).  They also randomly decided for peopel to drink when people made “stupid” comments or asked “stupid” questions, when they spilt alcohol, or etc etc.  It went so out of hand that James at one point said, “Because I feel like it” and drank along with Linton and Chris, I think, hahaha.  At times they’d get so riled up, everyone would be standing, and I would try to push Jonathan and James to sit down.  Peter said, “I’ve never played Monopoly with a group that was so anal about rules and all.”  Wow, what a game. 

We decided to stop at 2 a.m.  Peter and then Chris left at 3 a.m.  James fell asleep on his bed in his room.  Vickie (loveseat) and Linton (couch) ended up sleeping over.  I read Acts 15-16 and Psalm 37 with Jonathan on the laptop.  Afterwards he checked Facebook and his email.  Then he said that sometimes when he has time or is bored, he’d check on houses so he’d get a better sense of prices, etc. when he eventually does decide to own a home.  He says that he’d like to work for this smaller company that’s located in northwest? Houston.  Finally we went to sleep on the floor (found a sleeping bag in the closet for me to use–not sure what he did) around 4 a.m. 

Monday/Memorial Day.  Vickie and Linton left for home before 8 a.m.  Linton’s so sweet, asking me if I needed a ride back.  I decided against it and tried to fall back asleep, but i couldn’t so I got up and read.  Then James treated me to a Chinese breakfast at Classic Kitchen (soup wontons, egg-and-tortilla, and warm soy milk–yeah, don’t hate because I don’t know what they’re called).  Jonathan had left in the morning as well, watching a movie with his sister Susan and then working out at the gym.  James and I ended taking a nap again at 11 a.m.  Peter came at noon with crawfish (he woke up early to buy it and not without a search, finally at Viet Hoa) as well as onions and oranges.  James provided the sausage.  James put on I Am Legend, which was when Chris arrived in his motorcycle garb.  Then they watched Street Kings with Keanu Reeves, which I didn’t watch because I was eating crawfish.  Linton did, after he came with the spicy powder and sliced mushrooms.  Then they put on Curse of the Golden Flower (from Sony, which bought Paramount Pictures) after much objection from Eve.  After seeing it, I concur.  Bea left soon after, and then Vickie left at 8:30 to head back to San Antonio (first day of summer school tomorrow).  I decided to leave at 9 p.m.  There was still a whole pile left (Braden, Brian, and Steve had to work today, but Candace and JoJo showed up for this second consumption).  Eveline was still studying (using Peter’s book he had bought in the past but never took the test).  Eveline ended up speaking with Elaine on the phone because Jacky had dirty hands from peeling the crawfish, and it was so cute and sweet that they converse in Chinese, hehe.  Eve said that her current relationship is the longest she’s had (6 months), but her parents still think that the white guy is “just a friend.”  James had to take out the trash so he asked Peter to walk me to the car.  It seemed like a lot of work (especially after last night), so I asked if he enjoyed it.  He said, “Strangely, yes.”  I reported that I enjoyed hanging out with them, especially after hearing from people that UH is a commuter school.  He said, “Yes, we miss out on the dorm like and all that, but I like to think that we’re more grounded in reality.” 

That’s what I watched after I got up this morning.  Jessie had mentioned the movie (”You had the heart but not the feet; I have the feet but not the heart”) during our discussion this past Wednesday regarding Lies Women Believe About Priorities.  Janet, Charlene, Jennifer Lin and Szutu, and Tina Huang were there as well.  It was in response to “How can we discern what responsibilities God is assigning us and what is merely on our own ‘to-do’ list?”  We can ask God where our heart is.  Also, what are your negotiables?  “What is it I must do or I shall die?”  How can we go to bed saying, “Today I finished the work God gave me to do?”  Ask Him in the morning before your day starts.  The past discussions weren’t that profitable for me since I never had read the chapter.  After a few comments (e.g. Hilary Clinton running to be the leader of the country), I finally brought up my concerns regarding the author’s writings and interpretations.  “In a way I can understand what she’s trying to say, if you give her the benefit of the doubt, but chapter after chapter I leave with a bad feeling that something isn’t right with what she’s saying, although I can’t pinpoint or explain why right now.  She doesn’t use much Scriptural backing, and a lot of what does come out safe from the book can be much better conveyed in other books, I’m sure.”  I’m like, is it just me, since no one had ever mentioned this from previous chapters that I would have brought up if I had been up-to-date.  Am I that far gone off the straight-and-narrow path?  What a relief to find that I wasn’t the only one.  Each started agreeing in their own way about which sections really bothered them, like scribbling ”What the heck?!” in the margins and how they are really polarized/blanket black/white generalizations.  Someone said that we just need to look at the overview and overlook the details and explanations.  I expressed perhaps needing to find another book.  Still, one said that it’s good that it makes us think about what we really believe and enforce the reasons that we stick with what we do.  However, I feel like we spend so much time trying to glean the wheat out of the chaff, we can barely even consider how to keep the wheat afterwards.

Anyway, afterwards I headed off to Hector’s Memorial Day celebration.  As the host, he provided fajitas and we watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp on ABC Family (after the network presented a viewing of the original immediately before that).  BJ is so good natured, laughing at the ridiculousness of the movie.  I met Jerry, a UT friend’s of Hector’s, who grew up in Corpus Christi but now enjoys Houston (but of course Tokyo is his favorite - he used to travel quite a bit for his job before being settled here).  He ordered double of beef than chicken, and yet when I arrived there was only chicken left, that’s how popular beef is, haha.  Grace and Joe came later, and they took a picture of Steven on the floor making his stomach bulge to practically bigger than Jamie’s belly (she’s pregant)!  Some of them started playing Nertz since they didn’t want to watch the movie.

They headed to Tofu Village for dinner (as if that wasn’t enough food), but I met up with Vickie, Chris, and Linton at H Mart instead.  Inside, it has some Asian fast food establishments.  They ordered a pile of spicy and nonspicy fried chicken from Chicken & Joy (chicken en-joy hahaha).  They also randomly bought some milk/water concoction that reminds them of those mini Asian yogurts, and some “very light” Korean beer distributed from Los Angeles.  Linton asked me about Monday with Jonathan Eng, and then when I came back from the restroom, apparently they were asking Vickie if I had a romantic interest in him.  And the past year’s romantic…events.  These boys, psi, haha. 

When Jonathan met up with us after he ate dinner, we went to Memorial Mall to watch Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.  Their treasure wasn’t gold, but knowledge.  Vickie loves these sort of movies, about adventure and mystery (like National Treasure).  I hadn’t seen Indiana for a very long time (I still remember that image after the bad guy drank the goblet and immediately turned into a skeleton and ash, and I was peeking over the sofa cushion I was holding over my eyes), but Linton pointed out that a broken box showed the Raiders ark, and the lady is the love interest from the first movie.  And everyone knows Mutt to be the guy from Transformers.  George Lucas and Steven Spielberg seemed give a different feel from the previous ones in the franchise.  It has some funny focuses on the groundhogs and baboons? as well as unlikely circumstances, such as surviving an atomic bomb.

Vickie returns to Houston during the weekends then heads back to San Antonio Monday evenings to work at HealthSouth (”make money to hang out”).  She’s been hearing so much praise concerning Iron Man that she invited some people to watch it with her at 4:50 in Angelika.  I, unfortunately, got lost and ended up driving in circles until 6 pm, at which time I parked then walked to the theatre.  (Now I know to turn left into the underground parking garage, park in the green section there, then bring my movie stub to be validated and turn that in for free parking.)  I sat outside on the bench for awhile, then went inside.  Roger, Grace (JoJo’s wife), and some other people came out, then I finally saw Vickie.  She went to get her parking validated then dropped me off at my car then left for UTHSCSA.  She reports that the movie was indeed good.

Jonathan Eng called me when he got home from work, during which time he read the email regarding Iron Man.  I said it’s over and I’d call him back since I had to drive out of downtown.  When I did, I asked if I could come over to watch the season finale of House, MD, heh.  His sister left to show a future bride her bridesmaid dress that came in.  He was by himself and was about to ride his bike (after a hiatus after the BP MS150), but he stayed with me to help with the antennae.  Then we went to Subway to eat dinner.  He had a bad day at work, boo.  He also told me he had joined Michael (and Steve?) at the gun show this past weekend, and he just let me know his view of the whole deal.

I had mentioned before I left for Iron Man that I was probably going to miss seeing the season finale of House, MD on FOX.  My dad recroded it on his UPS drive for me.  Isn’t that amazing?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008.  The twins left this morning with their parents to visit Hong Kong for two weeks.  It’s the twins’ first time!  Phoebe was so sweet and sent me a postcard right before she left.  Linton called in the afternoon and asked if I wanted to hear a speaker talk about Darfur that evening.  Sure.  He called Vickie (still in San Antonio), and I called Elliot (visiting cousin).  Greg Wang and Chris came, too.  Later the three of us went to Two Rows to meet up with James and Peter to eat.  We didn’t get seated at a booth until 9:30 pm.  While waiting, James was on the phone and the three guys were chatting about who knows what.  They each ordered a Strawberry Blonde? beer in the meantime.  I was standing idly around awkwardly.  Then, the benches were empty so Linton and Chris sat down on one bench and Peter sat down next to me.  I picked up the Houston Press that was on the bench.  I flipped it open and the top said “Art” so I started reading.  He asked, “Do you you like art?”  I answered that I did, that I’ve had comments that I was pretty good at it (but I admit it’s only because I was copying), but I never thought to pursue it due to the influence of my upbringing.  Now that I’m out of college, I’ve starting contemplating the meaning of art, that it ISN’T a waste of time.  Peter agreed, saying that our parents push only for business, medicine, or law.  I said that they didn’t exactly push those specifics, but they DID push in their nondirect way for something that is likely to be viable soon out of college.  Somehow we segued into comedy.  He informed me of The Aristocrats (which initially I was imagining The Producers previews).  He said he wanted to be able to do that someday, just on-the-spot give a sparkling rendition of the joke.  I didn’t know that the Bob Saget was a well-rounded comedian, meaning that he also uses pretty foul language when not on family-friendly shows.  We discussed comedy in general, like cussing at every other word (or faking stereotypical accents all the time) is really desperation, not smart humor (this includes the Silk Mangos).  He tried to name a few that weren’t too sexual, but it was funny how Chris and James completely refuted them, saying that they were pretty bad.  After we were seated, Braden showed up with Jennifer Ma.  Jennifer didn’t remember Chris or me, but she did realize that she knew Peter.  I learned about Braden’s brother Daven’s marriage.  Jennifer left, Susan came later, then the couple left with like 5 beers ($1 during Wednesday Happy Hour).  I ordered the pot roast sandwich with beans, which the waiter recommended, but I got mushrooms, so I asked, and so I got to eat both, hehe.

Thursday, May 15, 2008.  James called to invite me to dinner at Yantze.  He said maybe Linton could pick me up, so I called.  I went to his house, then he drove us to Phoebe/Hannah’s to feed Missy (who’s 10 years old).  They turned off their water, so he had to scoop it up to distribute.  I’ve never really got a good look at her before.  It was cute that they gave her a big umbrella over her doghouse.  Linton told me not to mess with a hole in the ground, which is a favorite spot of hers–interesting.  Linton says he usually gives her two doggie treats, and I got the preferred one (a red cylindrical stick), but I guess since I was a stranger to her she wouldn’t take it from me.  Then, she ate the other bone-shaped treat.  Linton finally said that I probably shouldn’t be taking pictures with the flash because she might be interpretting it as lightning.  Peter was at dinner as well (his Mandarin Chinese last name is the same as mine).  As we walked to decided between JuiceBox and Star Snow Ice and Teriyaki, we saw Jocelyn Chen and Nike eating at FuFu’s.  They joined us at Star Snow afterwards.  Originally it was going to be more people but turned out only the two of them showed up.  James and Jocelyn met him at the Meta retreat.  He got his name because his ex-girlfriend gave it to him.  He later found out that his sister ended up with the name Nike as well, and they were thinking of changing his name to Adidas since he has everything (sponsor) of that, but he didn’t change it.  When Linton found out that this 35-year-old used to be on some sort of official Chinese basketball team, he asked for his autograph (both English and Chinese).  This guy is trying to get his fifth degree (business, computer science, i forget…) and he says ideally he would be married at the age of 37, although he knows that might not be accomplished given that’s only two years away and he is still single.  Jocelyn commented that James really wants to get married soon, which James was embarrassed about.  They asked Linton how he and Phoebe got together.  Then, Jocelyn told Nike that Hannah’s still single/available.  On the drive home, somehow Linton and I ended up briefly discussing instant gratification, and how that has affected how our generation doesn’t seem to stay at a job too long, the rising divorce rates, etc.

Friday, May 16, 2008.   Greg Wang replied that he was going to join us at Discovery Green (he planned to eat at the happy hour at The Grove but they didn’t have one so he had the cheap food at the LakeHouse which he says he wouldn’t recommend).  At the last minute I called Henry, who said he’d come.  I went to Elliot’s house, and he drove us to see if Charles was home.  He knocked and rang the bell, and I observed upstairs, but we didn’t notice a presence there (his car wasn’t there, either).  Then we went to Henry’s, who said he didn’t care if Elliot’s car didn’t have A/C.  However, Elliot did, so he consented.  Henry drove the three of us to Pappas BBQ (it was okay).  Henry got a half/half combo of sausage and beef slices with potato salad and cole slaw; I got pulled pork with potato salad and candied yams, and Elliot simply got a burger with fries (finally decided against a baked potato).  He also ate our breads that we didn’t eat, hehe, like a beggar. 

We caught the second half of the last UH act.  Henry went to explore the park for the first time since the dance didn’t interest him.  Elliot and I tried to understand but was at a lost.  There were certain patterns, such as their head movements and picking up someone and making a turn, but Elliot made this comment:  “I’m going to tell David [Kalloor] that I saw something he would’ve made.”  Greg said that this is the weirdest of all the acts he’s seen (since he was there on time).  “Green”, which was performed by the Travesty Dance Group, Karen Stokes’ company (she’s also the head of the dance department in the University of Houston School of Theatre and Dance), and the UH Dance Ensemble on the outdoor Anheuser-Busch Stage, was followed at 8:30 pm by a screening of The Cost of Living, presented by the Aurora Picture Show. The 34-minute movie takes place in a seaside town where street performers David and Eddie struggle to find work and romance. The film incorporates sharp humor about the notions of how the fit and unfit are supposed to act.  I loved it– what with their friendship, the hula-hoop girl, the “Believe” by Cher guy with his exaggerated movements, the ballet scene, the bar scene, the insanely hyperenergetic Eddie, the dancing after the rude video non-interview, the last beach scene….not so hot on the fondling and didn’t understand the restroom scene.  I also loved how they showed it, on a huge moon-walk-type screen, hehe!

• Trailer:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itDRZlc7d8U&feature=related
• Part 1:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDTYRbsKcoQ
• Part 2:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrxuexKFPOM
• Part 3:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyAVLc6t5Fg
• Part 4:  …http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcpcujComks
• Part 5:
• Part 6:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHBLrfs2pJc&feature=related
• Part 7:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGjR5h9kYFY
• Part 8:
• Part 9:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQkhQWBx6us&feature=related
• Part 10: 

Afterwards we somewhat played on the playground.  The design was interesting (what is the mound supposed to be? I took a picture of the two of them).  I didn’t know they had the gliding-across-on-a-handle!  We had that in the Sugar Creek park but they took it away.  Wow, Discovery Green even had two height levels.  Yes, Elliot, I relived my childhood memory :).  Linton had to drop off Rebecca at the airport so he couldn’t join us.  He started driving to join us, but the movie was so short so he went to James Wei’s place.  After dropping off Henry off, Elliot and I joined them, where Brian Hui and Chris were as well.  They never DID decide what to do (they ate at Kim Son at 7 pm).  We ended up just hanging around.  They were watching the basketball playoffs on James’s laptop.  Vickie IMed James, so Chris started typing on it, egged on by Linton.  I don’t know if Brian played a part in it, but they did get James to say out loud “Hey baby” LOL.  Then they called Vickie on the computer; she didn’t have a speaker but she could hear us.  She said she heard a female voice.  Linton said lots of girls were here, and Vickie said she’d tell Phoebe haha.  They said it was the TV, but Vickie then thought it was me so she called my cell.  I actually had no idea what was going on, just playing Sequence with Elliot (he got the first sequence, but then I got the last two - with a wild).  The four guys were drinking.  Chris many times had to put a barrier between him and Linton.  James was so tired he fell asleep.  They started doing push-ups with the bar stool, with one hand, two hands, triangle, and rolling on the floor (which James apparently does a lot of??).  I got back home around 1 am.  Linton and Chris left after the game ended; Chris had to work tomorrow and Linton had an Access meeting at 9:15 am.  On the news on the night news, they showed someone with excessive hair with his family and friends.  I couldn’t find the one mentioned on the news, but I did find someone who proudly calls himself the Wolf Man and others who also have Hirsutism / Hypertrichosis. Below are also some other people with rare diseases/disorders/conditions:

• Hand in Hand, choreography by Zhao Limin, performed by Ma Li and Zhai Xiaowei
• “Tree Man” Dede has Epidermodysplasia verruciformis or something related to HPV
• “Pig Baby“ needs support:  http://www.babymiracle.co.nz/ 
• “Elephant Man“
• Blind boy puts on eyes like contact lenses
• Eight-limbed Asian Indian girl Lakshmi Tatma believed by some to be the reincarnation of the multi-limbed Hindu goddess Vishnu

Saturday, May 17, 2008.  Dad left this morning with Gloria Sun’s parents to Austin (since she’s graduating) to drop off Andrew’s VISA to China.  Mom woke me up to join her in a free lunch at King Bo II to honor her dedication in teaching Chinese school at FBCC.  We took up three big round tables.  Stefi, Jennifer Lin, and Rosanna were there.  Stefi’s finishing up her junior year of college at A&M studying biomedical science.  She’s also getting ready for the MCAT, but “I need a backup plan.”  Jennifer worked on a 6×6 Rubik’s cube.  The Chinese ladies talked up a storm.  Howard’s mom, dad, and brother Brian (but not Howard) were also in the restaurant at a separate table.  In the evening, I went to Jing’s early birthday dinner at Goode Seafood Company.  James said there should be a couples table and a singles table, but Jocelyn wanted to sit with the couples, and I wanted to sit with at least one other girl.  It was awkward because Jing’s girlfriend Evelyn sat in front of me, then to my diagonal right was her friend Christine and thus her boyfriend Stephen sat to my right.  The other table had Steve, Will (who’s he?), Jonathan, Linton, Brian, Peter, and James.  Eve sat with her boyfriend, Eveline sat with Michael, and then it was Jocelyn and me and his girlfriend and friends.  Evelyn met Jing during their internships; she’s studying accounting at UT Austin.  Christine is a recent Rice graduate, and Stephen graduated from UT AUstin last year (May 2007?).  They’re pretty and polite but didn’t really converse with Jocelyn or me, only unless we asked questions.  They had their own thing going.  Evelyn does yoga 6x/week and is not interested in swing dancing.  Afterwards the four of them used the helium from the balloons on the table (it’s prom night) to talk high-pitched.  Linton, Jocelyn (4 in a row), and I took lots of pictures then dispersed.  After yes/no/yes/no/yes, Linton and I stopped by James’s place to “help” him pack for his week in Orlando, FL.  I read James’s binder out loud.  Linton drank a Shiner and chatted on IM with Chris (”hey baby cakes”) LOL.  “is this vicky?”  James asked, “Do you like Chris?”  I was lying on the couch but perked up and asked back, “What?”  I couldn’t imagine him asking that outrightly from me, and I was the only female in the room.  But he was asking Linton, so he answered, “Yes.”  That was odd….  James wanted to share “dark secrets” but ended up explaining his job to Linton on his work laptop.  Masturbation was spoken on, though; Vickie said, “I’m sorry you had to go through that [night]” haha.  Eh, I’m used to guys.

Sunday, May 18, 2008.  I talked with my brother on the phone for an hour.  I ate leftovers for lunch, wrote about the weekend, then watched Dead Like Me on TV.  Dad returned at 9:30 pm, as predicted by Mom.  Vickie went out to the UT Rec Fields to hopefully play another game (be recruited if they were missing players, which she was).  She gave me a call.  Dad walked with my mom, then returned and walked with me outside around the neighborhood at 11 pm (interesting that the street lights went off as we passed by, then as we crossed the street and turned around to give it another glance, it turned back on).

I stopped by the basketball court to shoot some hoops.  I chatted with Elliot on the phone about agenda and movies.  Then I dropped by Ben and Jerry’s to see David Kalloor before he left back for Austin.  Chris, Hannah, Linton, and Phoebe were there.  Phoebe apologized profusely to me, and I accepted.  David gave hugs.

Then, I went to watch Vickie play her first and only flag football game in the tournament.  She’s on Robert Hwang’s team, the Roaring Tigers.  Wilson of course had his Titans going.  I snuck up on Tiffany, who complimented me on my haircut.  James waved hello.  I sat next to Karin, who was there with her brother John and kites.  I talked some with David Zhao’s girlfriend Tammy.  I ended up cheering for the Tigers because Tiffany Lin, David Zhao, Annie, and Vickie were on that team, plus they had never won a game yet.  Annie’s sister stood in until Cynthia showed up.  Cynthia picked Jeff Tang to play for the Titans since they were missing a player (they were missing a lot, actually).  Inch made some good runs.  I ran/walked two laps around the park with Lisa.  Then we sat on her baby-blue blanket from IKEA.  Vickie asked James Hsia about his car.  Ed’s wife (Kara Wong’s sister) commented on how shallow the conversation was, so James shared that he was reading/memorizing a passage, which he recited to Vickie.

I finally gave Wilson the magic cards, haha.  I thought I was going to leave then, but then Vickie and Ed’s wife (Kara Wong’s sister) said they only had ten plays left.  Well, the Open League’s teams played after the Closed League played (more girls).  Haha, Robert Chan stepped out because he’s not that into sports.  He (he says appears swollen even after two weeks) told Chi-Chi to ask me about her jammed finger.  Jeff Chen, Nathan Kim, and Erin Pang were all on the Open League, too.  In fact, Erin’s the only girl (Joanne Wei was, but when she realized how intense it was, she dropped out) on the team, and by the end of the day she had fractured her pinky finger.  I watched as Rosemery walked their newly owned young dog (”like having to take care of a child”) who was playing with another person’s dog.

We went to Fuddruckers.  Vickie and I arrived at the same time, coincidentally.  She ordered the long hot dog, and I got the S’room combo (I shouldn’t have gotten the fries after all, oh well, starving since I didn’t eat lunch).  I got my food fast, before those who ordered before me.  As I sat down, Aaron Fu introduced himself to me (after Vickie introduced herself to him).  He ended up talking much with Lindi, who sat to my right (he sat in front of her).  Actually, one time he leaned over and whispered something in her ear, to which Jasmine (who sat at the head of the table to my left) asked if they would share with us.  The two of them just smiled.  Aaron has traveled a lot growing up.  Alan Bennett sat in front of me.  I think the three of us had a decent conversation going: Alan says his family celebrates Chinese holidays but not all out, Jasmine asked me about how I met Jocelyn Chen, the two of them talked about.  To Lindi’s right sat Lisa, who was sitting next to Vickie, who were talking with Robert Chan, Chi-Chi, and the Jeffs.  Jeff Chen shared about him leading a small group.  There wasn’t enough room so Wilson, Robert Hwang, Cynthia, and Tiffany sat at a booth and James, John, and Karin sat at another booth.  I left before everyone, at 9:30 because Mom called.

To celebrate Mother’s Day, Mom invited her sister and mother out for Mother’s Day.  Mom had suggested two restaurants, but my aunt wanted to check out Yantze.  My parents picked up my grandmother to meet my aunt, who was already there and had gotten us six a round table.  The 4-person combo was horrible!  I tasted each of the six dishes, and there was much left over, and I really didn’t want to take anything home.  Even the fried chicken was horrid.  We dropped my grandmother off (she said she was going to take a nap and didn’t want us to come up nor did she want to go listen to a Chinese choir sing at Sugar Creek Baptist Church) then went home to eat watermelon “to wash away the toxins.”  My aunt had given us half of a seedless watermelon, which we consumed quickly.  I spent the rest of the afternoon watching Pangea Day videos.  In the evening, Linton drove the twins and me to James Wei’s place, where the six of us (with Vickie) carpooled in Linton’s Camry to Benjy’s.  On the way we asked if we could stop by Chris’s place (since all day he had rented a U-Haul to move in, and then let Chi-Chi use it to move her stuff in), but he said no.  Peter showed up, and then Chris and David Wen did as well.  We went through the restaurant entrance outside onto their balcony.  Eventually we gathered enough chairs and even moved over a table.  Hannah was to my right, then Vickie, Phoebe, Linton, Chris, David, James, and Peter.  David switched around and explained his media work at North____ Church in Austin to Phoebe and Vickie, who talked about what they’re doing right now (e.g. school and the new guy Access is considering hiring).  Chris dropped his hand sanitizer from his backpocket–I found that to be interesting.

I started a conversation with Peter by asking about his vague prayer request.  I feel he gave an appropriate answer, not really wanting to specify but still being able to share about himself (unlike Chris).  He says his problem is not work related (more personal related) and it doesn’t involve him moving away.  He goes to an Ascension Chinese Catholic Church.  He grew up at WHCC, went to a Catholic church, but when his parents found this one–the best of both worlds (Chinese and Catholic)–they switched over.  Initially the top people didn’t like him because he was outspoken about issues (e.g. budgeting), but now they want him, even though he’s sort of stopped serving for awhile.  He share about trying to stay away from smoking, drugs with his friends, coming out since it’s better than staying home since he can’t do anything about his situation.

We were hungry but since the restaurant was closed we couldn’t order the food.  After many drinks, we went to IHOP.  Initially, I heard Hannah asking a series of questions of David Wen.  It actually started with Chris who was sitting next to her, but of course Chris didn’t say anything.  Then, they said it should be one question at a time, etc.  So we started a question “game” where the person on the right asks the person on the left a question, and the questioner answers and the questioned answers as well.  So, starting with Hannah, she asked Linton what was something most of us don’t know about him.  Hannah says that she’s sometimes a bit OCD, wanting to make things symmetrical, like if she touches something on one side she has to touch the other side as well.  Linton said he’s pretty open, and then finally reported he had one hair on his chest.  Chris was hilarious, saying that in fact he did know that, and he wasn’t too keen in having Linton showing it off when they were roommates.  Linton asked Phoebe what she’s most afraid of.  She said she feared missing an opportunity.  Phoebe asked Vickie.  Vickie asked me about an embarrassing moment.  She said that freshman year she tried out for the rowing team but she hadn’t swam in a long time and almost drowned on the way back.  The coach/lifeguard Christian wasn’t expecting to dive in so he took off his shirt and saved him.  Being a hot guy, all the girls rushed to his side and offered their towels.  I couldn’t think of one, so Vickie said who’s a celebrity crush of mine.  I thought for awhile, killing the momentum of the game.  Vickie started giving prompts, like Brad Pitt.  Peter said he’d like George Clooney, etc.  Finally he said Batman, and I pointed at him and said, “Yeah!”  Then I was to ask him a question, and again a dead end.  At first I asked what his pet peeve was, recycling a question that Hannah had asked David, but we both couldn’t answer that.  I asked James if there was anything he’d like to know about Peter, and James said how much does he shave.  I said 0; Peter said daily.  That wasn’t much of a question, so James said to scratch that and ask about SAT score: me with 1360, he with 12– and 16– (he took it twice).  Peter asked James.  James asked David about the worst thing he did.  James shared that it was the time he keyed a truck then stuffed pizza in the handle of it.  David asked Chris what’s one flaw of his and what he will do to change it.  First David said that he mumbles sometimes so he has to talk clearer, and Hannah was nice and complimented on his good gesture use.  Chris then copied David and said that sometimes he mumbles, too.  Then Linton exclaimed that what Chris really needs to work on is his vulnerability, and we all agreed.  “Man…haters.”  Chris then asked Hannah about her favorite time in college.  Chris said it was his second semester of freshman year.  Hannah said it was the times she went with Jennifer Yu and Matt Lee to the Union to read the newspaper and simply talk and chill.  I got home at 3 am.

Jonathan wanted to have a prayer meeting so first we went to Yantze to eat.  Since my haircut Tuesday evening, I hadn’t really done anything to my hair because I didn’t want to bother with it.  I didn’t leave the house.  But I showered and worked on my hair with my Dad’s hairgel for a longer while than usual.  I got to the restaurant a bit early, planning to read a bit of the book Rebecca lent me.  However, I saw Steve Mar go inside so I went in as well to chat.  He told me about his credit cars, complimented me on my new haircut, told me about his haircuts, talked about enjoying blobbing (like a seesaw and jumping on so the other person flips up almost as high as the platform and then back into the water), etc.  Linton and Phoebe showed up and complimented me on the haircut.  I told Phoebe about the book Rebecca had lent me (that I hadn’t really started reading). 

Then Chris, Jing, James, Jonathan, Peter Lee, and Perry came.  The guys ordered family style (the 12-person combo wasn’t a deal).  Phoebe ordered hollow-heart vegetable (go, Phoebe! hehe).  Linton felt compelled to clean all the dishes, as always.  Jonathan introduced Perry, who they had met on Meta retreat.  Perry grew up in Portland, Oregon, and went to OSU for EE but then moved down here for his job (and doesn’t really know anyone).  We went around saying where we graduated from, where/when our job, and what our favorite food is.  Steve said Mexican, I said Chinese, Phoebe said curry, Linton said BBQ and anything cheap, James said ?, Chris said Chinese, Jing said steak, Peter said ?, Jonathan said spaghetti, and Perry said ?.  Michael and Eveline came later.  Jonathan’s really stepping up!

Outside, we took a group picture with Linton’s camera.  He said he would upload it (which I interpreted as onto facebook because the others were talking about facebook), so I asked him to email it to me (but the way he nodded I think he was thinking, I just said I would, so I guess he meant he would upload it onto his computer and subsequently email it to us).  Then, we dispersed to go to our cars to go to James’s apartment (I was hearing some guys asking who was driving and who was riding/carpooling).  Linton or James asked me if I knew how to get there, to which I answered not at the top of my head but as always will use the dependable GPS to direct me as in the past that I have gone to James’s place.  James responded with his usual, “Oh no!”  I did not think twice about it until I was going to put my GPS in place and James knocked lightly on the passenger side of my car.  I unlocked the door and he came in, so he could direct me.  I was annoyed because I don’t need anyone to direct me since I’ve already made multiple trips to his place by myself–the only reason anyone would do that is to talk to me (like if Phoebe had sat with me).  And usually that reason is fine–except in this case, because of our past conversations and incidents.  I was too upset (I’d admit it was disproportionate, which bothered made it all the more worse) to really think of how to address it appropriately and delicately (also because I was driving) so I listened as he told me he was starting a three-month-Bible-study-group boot camp.  In essence, with Simon Lee, they’d wake up like at 5 am to exercise before work.  It also involves no junk food for the three months (easy for me), memorizing verses, and….  I don’t know who else is doing it with him.  He can only miss two times or he’s kicked out (to prove his commitment).

We went around talking about our worst/best moment of the week.  We were all pretty vague and lackluster in our answers, until Peter remembered an incident that happened this past Tuesday.  I don’t think Chris would have mentioned it except that Peter brought it up.  Peter had ordered a drink for him, who was enjoying it when around 10 pm the security people started checking IDs around the bar.  Turns out Chris never renewed his driver’s license since January when our licenses expired.  So they literally snatched the glass from his hand and asked him to leave.  Then, he was told Friday mornings are the best times to go to the DPS so that’s what he did, except the line was so long he couldn’t wait without missing work, so he had to leave. 

Then prayer requests were next.  Linton shared that David Kalloor was driving from Austin to Houston right now–with two nails in his truck tire, with Rean in the passenger seat, and with eyes needing glasses (which he has not been prescribed yet).  Phoebe said, “When I think of something, I’ll let you know.”  I asked them to pray for my NBCOTE, although I had a lot of deeper issues that need prayer, but I wasn’t willing to tell this group about it.  But Michael and Peter were, if only but vaguely.  Michael in summary said he needed spiritual renewal.  Peter was even more vague, saying that whatever he had vaguely mentioned at the beginning of the year the situation is still the same.  It’s a “waiting game” that will “need some luck”, and he doesn’t know where he will be six months to a year from now.  Perry said he thought he was meeting up with his girlfriend but something about that didn’t work out, and that he needed time for himself in order to do things.  Chris said he didn’t have anything.  Jing said he’s leaving for Dallas tomorrow to talk with some people about a family and school issue (he went into details).  Jonathan shared about time management.  Steve and then James copied Chris and said they didn’t have anything.  Jonathan also prayed for Eveline (studying for her UH exams), Vickie (finding an apartment), and Braden (regarding his job situation).  I stayed some minutes to watch the Rockets (turns out last) game then left at 10 pm to drop off Phoebe.  Linton and James walked us out to my car.

Monday, April 21, 2008.  Rick’s recovering from attending the wedding (of Dr. Barber, psychiatrist, and Dr. Romero, psychologist) so he didn’t come in today.  Since Dr. Barber’s going to be gone for a month on his honeymoon, Dr. Coverdale covered rounds with us this morning.  Before I knew it, the morning was pretty much gone (around 10 or 10:30).  I don’t even know how it happened, because I had imagined that it felt dragged out, but it didn’t.  *Shrug*  I performed another KELS (she all-of-a-sudden put her head down and didn’t respond), had lunch, then administered the other KELS (to the one with GAD), as requested by Dr. Camp.  In the evening, Jeff picked me up to watch the Rockets game.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008.  Rick came back so Sally showed us the photographs she took :-D.  At home, Vickie told me about Jennifer Chung.  Her first original song, “Very Last Time,” if it were by one of the major pop artists I probably wouldn’t look twice, but this is an unsigned, rejected-from-American-Idol, Korean-American living in California who wrote and sang it!  I also baked Angel Food Cake (the bigger batch with pineapple as directed by Tiffany Lin and the smaller experimental batch with cocoa).  “Vicky is my UT friend I told you about that is at UTSA grad school for kinesiology.  She very nicely said that you can ask her questions about UTSA and becoming a PT” LOL!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008.  I attended rounds then finished writing up my last KELS.  Jennifer had a doctor’s appointment around noon so she again couldn’t join us (long awaited doctor’s appointment) as we went out to Black Walnut Cafe for my last week here.  Tiffani drove Elderine and me, while Sally drove Theo, Rick, and Janet.  Rick paid for my lunch and then offered to buy me dessert, so I picked the German chocolate cake ($6?) since the woman in front of us chose that.  I told them I brought angel food cake (which Jennifer had tasted in the morning for breakfast and loved the chocolate flavor).  When we came back from lunch, I had missed giving one of my patients her creatively painted pig (with specks of brown for mud/dirt).  Oh well.  I showed an informational video on bipolar disorder, which was ended early due to disinterest from the patients, haha.  I honestly couldn’t say much for one guy because really right now he looks normal, and Rick agrees, although he reminded me about the presenting incident, which I had forgotten to ask him about.  This is what the patient explained to me, since had told the doctor he felt he was getting better, but told me that really he’s saying that so he can get out (he’s here involuntarily).  The patient said that if someone kept saying I was a lesbian (and he reassured me that he wasn’t labeling me that), and that unless I accepted and said that I indeed believed I was a lesbian then I could go outside, then I would comply as well.  In the end, it would either be me still believing I was a heterosexual and just on the surface acknowledging I was a lesbian, or I would be brainwashed and be convinced out of repetition that I was in fact attracted to girls and not guys.  Anyway, later Rick sat in as I evaluated a new guy, probably to see if I had improved in that arena, since it was my weak point.  Linton had sent out an evite about going to see the iFest, Lucy, Hermann Park, and Star Pizza on Saturday - wow.  I went to bed at 9 pm.

Thursday, April 24, 2008.  Janet was early because she had to prepare for the psych booth of the health fair (which Rick helped to set up and Elderine/Tiffani/Jennifer also helped).  I called the PT about one of our patients who had problems walking recently (new decompensation) for some reason.  I did my last rounds, and my last cooking group (which accumulated 68 RVUs for Rick since Janet was busy with the health fair).  During lunch we had free lunch from the fair, and I also went around grabbing some free items.

Friday, April 25, 2008.  Rick again negotiated the groups so I could finish early.  I could leave at lunch, but I joined them and actually tried the angel food cake I had brought.  Rick showed me his FWPE scores to him and announced that I had passed the rotation, YAY!  Then I could leave, but not until after I filled out the evaluation of the rotation form and turned it in.  Rick and Tiffani said that all the other students were out the door the second the signal was given.  I also had to say goodbye to my patients (even the new one I evaluated today haha), the nurses (Loida said to call them once in awhile), the psych techs (Victor keeps saying that I’m always one of the first to work with the difficult patients), even the new med students (Bo, Lan Lan, and Charlotte).  My patients were so nice, came up to me and said that were very grateful for the help I gave them (I thought they didn’t feel I helped them that much, especially one who kept making comments that we were keeping her here longer than she wanted).  And Jennifer was super sweet, even giving me a card and apologizing for not giving me a gift card to Starbucks or something!  Since Rick let me leave early, I decided to see the CSI exhibit.  My parents took me to Old Place Cafe to celebrate LOL.  But w00t! the Rockets won their first win (finally!) on the Jazz court, 94-92, last night.  Just reading it while waiting for the food to come got me nervous, it was such a close game!

Monday, April 14, 2008.  We have five new patients today, so Rick helped out by reporting in rounds and taking over task group for me: Thanks!  I was able to meet with four of them.  At lunch, Jennifer was so sweet and bought an angel-food cake to celebrate Sally’s birthday.  Sally was gone for her birthday last week, so that’s why we celebrated today.  Jennifer had already cut it so that she could layer it with strawberries she had already cut and topped each layer with whipped cream.  Sally was excited and took a picture of the cake, and then with Janet and Rick, awww.  After work, I called Vickie to tell her that as I was walking from the BTPC through the hallway to the BTGH, I thought I saw Grace (JoJo’s wife) and waved, and I think she at least recognized my face.  Then I went to the MFAH. 

Tuesday, April 15, 2008.  I only had self-care group today, and good thing.  I had four discharges, and forgot one on Team C (we had traded, and I knew she was leaving, but I forgot since I was her therapist I had the responsibility to give her home instructions).  I performed two evaluations along with one home instructions.  Some common patterns among Team B patients:  if you’re a female then you have pseudocyesis (delusions of being pregnant), you have a past history of running naked in the streets, or you are somewhat malingering to stay here instead of to go “home.”

Wednesday, April 16, 2008.  Due to EPIC training, Theo preferred that Rick not be gone to his Patient Education Committee meeting that he has once a month.  I went by myself to present my brochure.  It was nice since I could go in a bit later since the meeting starts at 9 am.  I was the first one there, so I went to the restroom.  When I returned, the woman who last week presented on an already-published patient-education-worksheets packet regarding diabetes management sat to my right.  She’s quite outspoken about corrections, which helped me because I didn’t want to really say much by the end since I’m just sitting in for Rick.  For example, I wrote a certain correction on the sheet (Rick had printed out the materials for me beforehand) that we were sharing, so she spoke up and it was a good suggestion that everyone agreed upon (they were debating between two phrases, and I provided a third option).  When I went to my park, I had a parking violation (I had read the sign about only those going to Holly Hall, and I interpreted it wrong) but the police officer at the front desk from which I inquired from said that I didn’t have to pay a fine or anything, just that if I were to continuously do it I would be banned from parking there in the future.  Whew. 

To celebrate OT month, Theo offered to treat us out for lunch at Murphy’s Deli (we walked there).  It was interesting because she printed out the menu and indicated which ones on the menu we could pick from.  They had a salad bar, but Sally changed her mind about it and ordered the combo (sandwich, chips, drink).  Sammy stopped by to say hi, and Jennifer couldn’t make it because she felt sick (and interestingly enough, Theo didn’t schedule her for anything).  It was nice to have a break in the morning, but I had to catch up in the afternoon about the goings-ons.  I spent the rest of the afternoon administering two evalutions then writing up 5 of 7.  Rick had given me $10 to pay for parking; isn’t he generous?  I was happy that I could leave without waiting, but unfortunately I forgot where I parked so I walked for some good minutes before finding it, haha, sigh.  I really didn’t want to miss Ladies’ Group, but after mental calculation I knew that I just wouldn’t be able to make it, and missed it for the first time.  At home I made some last minute changes on the brochure (since the BTPC computers display it different from my home laptop) then went to eat dinner at Old Place Cafe at 7 pm with my parents.  They saw a dentist and his wife who they recognized; he was in Mississippi for six years with the army but is now retired and having a lot of enjoyment traveling.  Afterwards we went to Kinko’s to print out four brochures (very nice quality, and I paid for it - $12, for paper, ink, and time spent on the computer).  Then we went to Wel-Farm to buy potstickers (I figured dumplings would be nasty the next day being soggy and all).  We got home at 8:30 pm and turns out that potstickers are tricker to cook than dumplings.  We learned we could not cut corners (i.e. cook more than 7 at a time).  A plate dropped and shattered.  Dad ended up cooking the mass majority of them.  I printed out handouts (regarding where to get them printed at BTGH) and then went to bed past midnight.

Thursday, Apri