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This evening, Chris called to play basketball at the same place.  Diana called me to carpool, so I drove over to pick up Elliot and told her to meet me at Borders.  During that time, I picked up a book I had requested online: Bodies and Souls.  Glee!  I drove the three of us to meet Chris and Jacky, who had already played for half an hour (yes, I was late).  We played “until someone gets hit in the face” since the sun was setting and we could barely see the ball against the dark pavilion.  My contact was irritating me (again! ugh) but the guys were pretty lenient on us girls (Elliot, Diana, and I were against Jacky and Chris).  Actually, Diana wasn’t kidding when she said she “sucked:”  she didn’t even know about double-dribbling, taking the ball back after making a basket, or getting the “secret” ball passes (well, I’m not so hot with those, either), but she did know how to use the backboard!  I’m definitely not anything near Laurie Chen, but it was eye-openning that I wasn’t as “beginner” as I thought I was.  Then we played Knockout before heading off for food. 

I’ve been thinking of mentoring lately; I’m not sure why.  I’ve never been a counselor, don’t have the desire yet to have children of my own, and definitely don’t feel “ready,” whatever that means.  I also don’t even have a mentor of my own, although a couple of older women keep, on average, annual tabs on me.  Plus, I have the worse relationship with my mother compared to that with my father and brother.  They say that as you get older, you get back to your roots more.  I think this “independence” thing that the United States has is quite alarming, and I want to get back into utilizing the advantages of my Chinese community.  I believe it’s also quite Biblical, for we are the Body of Christ.  Interdependence is the new trend.  One of the reasons I wanted to stay with FBCC (although I “go” to “all” the “churches” around town) was because so many of them had seen me grow up, physically and spiritually, and my parents are still there.  I find it incredible to see the adults teaching us, as we teach those younger than us.  Instead of starting at ground zero, we are building upon spiritual legacy….. 

Anyway, continuing, my contact actually hurt too much that I took it out and crumpled it into a receipt.  Elliot took over my car.  Our first stop was Chipotle (which was closed), so we made a stop into its neighbor Berripop.  Chris “hongkongsupastar” Huang was there talking with…forgot her name.  Diana got blueberry, and Chris got strawberry and blueberry.  The rest of us refrained from ordering (although Diana did ask for some samples for us).   Diana said she used to go there daily, and multiple times a day (e.g. three times), and each time she’d order a medium, and then get a small after that.  There’s also free wi-fi.  Daniel Yuan walked in with a bigger guy…I think his name is Jason? gosh I really am not as good with names as I thought.  Chris apparently was on an IM football team with Daniel back at UT Austin.  Elliot and I know him since we were on the same flag football Titan team with Wilson back in last last season.  It was hilarious because we looked at each other and said, “Hey” and then….”Okay, well, I’m going to get some yogurt.”  LOL, I think you just had to be there.  Later in the night (at the restaurant) Elliot said, “I’m still getting over when we just stared at each other awkwardly not saying anything.”

We went to Freebirds, but it just closed.  We finally sat down at a booth in 59 Diner.  Our waiter seemed good-natured.  We first asked for five cups of water.  Then, when it came time to order, unfortunately, only Chris and Jacky ordered.  And actually, Jacky had to change his order because what he wanted was only on Mondays I think.  He browsed and browsed, asking for suggestions (”Well, the Chicken Fried Steak is popular”), so the waiter said he’d come back.  Finally, Jacky made his decision:  Chicken Fried Chicken lol.  He also ordered Cheese Fries for the three of us to munch on (awww).  It took a while, so Jacky asked for the appetizer first, but Chris said, “As long as he doesn’t spit in my food.”  Our waiter brought out all three orders at the same time.  Man, it’s sure hard not to eat food offered right in front of you; Elliot didn’t eat, but Diana and I devoured the fries (although they said it wasn’t very good, probably been out a while, “soggy” and “sticky”).  During the night, she kept trying to ask how to say things in Mandarin Chinese (she’s Korean but tutors Chinese, isn’t that amazing?).  She said a neighboring girl looked like a man, but I didn’t think so.  Chris said that he plans to take ballroom dancing lessons in the future since Diana had said, “You’re boring” while they danced Saturday night haha. 

Afterwards, while they were paying, Diana came upon the machine where you try to pick up a stuffed animal.  She really wanted to “fobby”-looking pink “uglydoll.”  But there was a rat/fox/animal dressed in martial-art attire atop of it.  They suggested that maybe even the Batman would be easier to grab, but she pouted like she did at SSQQ.  Our waiter came up to us in amusement, and after finding out that Diana really wanted the animal, he took out two quarters from his tip pocket and handed it to her.  Elliot controlled the handles, while Jacky and Chris gave instructions.  When all three were satisfied, the claw went down and grabbed…nothing.  So we finally left (I’m pretty sure Jacky was glad about that!).  Elliot dropped Diana off at her car at Borders, then drove me back.  Then my mom drove Elliot back.

“Your friend is really bubbly.”  That’s what Elliot said at the end of the night.  No doubt about that.  Bubbly girls even females like (especially one who is so pretty, talented, God-loving, and responsible), but for me after awhile it takes its toll (i.e. my energy is sapped).  I can totally see why guys (especially quiet ones) find themselves attracted to her.  While at Berripop, Diana would swipe some from Chris to compare the flavors (since Chris said he couldn’t quite tell the difference).  She continued scooping that Chris commented, “Oh yeah, let me take another taste, I still can’t quite tell,” you know, the way he always makes wisecracks.  At the toy machine in 59 Diner, Diana was tugging Chris’s shirt (you know how he usually just wears an undershirt), begging anyone to get the stuffed animal for her.  I was thoroughly enjoying the entertainment.  If I were in Chris’s shoes, I’m sure I would have thoughts of whether this girl liked me or not!

I’ve been pretty ravenous about media consumption this past week.  Monday I watched The Day the Earth Stood Still (directed by Robert Wise) from Elliot.  I finished A Wrinkle in Time on Thursday (after reading a few pages to start me off the day before from waiting at Walmart while my dad switched out his bicycle).  It was my first time reading it, and it wasn’t too bad at all (my caveat was that Meg annoyed me:  “Just shut up already!” was what I was thinking haha).  Yesterday I watched His Girl Friday (suggested by/borrowed from Elliot) with Hannah.  It’s not your typical romantic comedy (1940).  Charm (Cary Grant) really does win girls over, even when we know it involves all that trickery.  But the way they showed it, of course, made it feel like harmless fun and teasing.  Sometimes you gotta watch out for those old movies.  Yesterday I also ended up typing up an inventory of my books.  A bookshelf really reveals the interests and life of another, or at least I found that it does me. 

This morning, Hannah invited me to the monthly booksale put on by the First Colony Library: $1 hardbacks and $0.50 paperbacks unless otherwise priced.  I ended up with a bunch of books in my arms, including The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron.  I’ve started it and I think I like it better than The Introvert Advantage by Marti Laney.  It’s not books that are, omg! that I would go around raving.  But, they are right for me at this point in my life.  I was pretty beat up in El Paso–what with the Mexican culture, the predominating extroverts loving bars (which I hate)–definitely feeling out of sorts.  So I guess this week I’ve just non-planningly been doing the things I enjoy: books, movies, stories, art, and spirituality.  I’ve said before that I think that I’ve never felt angry towards God (not only because I probably deny and trick myself) because I’ve never really felt close to Him (even though I’ve always known, and it’s obvious looking around, that He definitely hasn’t abandoned me but instead has continued to bless).  But I’m pretty content right now.  I really wish I could impart to you just how satisfied I feel this instance.  I’m enjoying the moment.  “So happy.”

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Friday.  Christina Tam and I met at Borders so we could carpool to watch Slant.  Craig Wen and Brian Thao-Huane were there, too.  I skipped out on FBCC’s monthly social: Iron Chef!  The secret ingredient was mango, and I heard the results were better than expected.  Jacky called at around 9pm to ask if I could watch their belongings while they did a run the next morning.  Uh..sure….

Saturday.  Christina and I again met at Borders to carpool to Jacky’s apartment, where Ted drove us four to be at Minute Maid Park at 7am.  They prepared, clipping on their running numbers, drinking water in the small cups being passed out, and stretching amongst the air “people” that would occasionally hit us (the way the air was blown and all).  We saw a man on stilts pretend he was a super-tall person, making balloon animals.  The girl and guy bunny suits wearing Astros attire came around to take pictures with the kids and whoever else wanted.  I’ve never participated in this sort of thing, so Jacky explained how it worked.  He paid $25 to participate, but they would get two free Astros tickets with an option of choosing from four games in the future (June 10, 11, 24, and/or 25).  They give you a timer that will start as soon as you step onto their carpet they have at the starting line and would stop when you step on the carpet at the finish line.  Some runs ask you to return the trakcer/timer, but this time they said the runners/walkers could keep it.  This is Ted’s first time, and afterwards he looked pretty winded (was it his knee, since he had a brace on? didn’t ask).  Jacky ran ahead.  Denver stayed with Ted. 

Christina needed coffee, so we walked around downtown.  We saw the “oasis” in front of Christ Church Cathedral–Christina couldn’t believe such a nice place in the middle of downtown.  She said she’d still feel unsafe walking around by herself, if I wasn’t with her.  I also saw some people waiting outside the Urban League.  We finally found this free-standing building all by itself on one side of the street to be Starbucks (good thing we used the map that the city provides atop the sidewalk, thank you Houston!).  At 8am, I bought her a drink (a grande mmchip frapp for $4.50), then we rested for a few minutes (she was carrying her papers to be graded in a backpack, then she volunteered to also carry Jacky’s, Ted’s, and my belongings–heavy!).  We headed back, realizing the run had pretty much ended (that was fast).  We had to walk all the way around since the doors were locked.  When we entered, a wave of stench (sweat and gym) hit my nose (never liked that smell).  Denver saw us, and Jacky encouraged us to get some food (he had his shirt off–not that it was attractive because I barely glanced, but that always makes me feel uncomfortable for some reason).  I stood in line for some lettuce wrap with meat on top (reminds me of that Chinese dish).  Jacky said there were also kolaches, so I stood in line for that.  They lady said, “Ham and cheese?”  Sure.  “Two?”  Sure….  JT said hi, and I think his girlfriend is Heidi.  She looks really familiar but I don’t know why.  Khon-Whey Tay was there with his two friends (they’re a couple of..Asian Indian descent?).  I wanted some fruit and found a pear within the tubs of water/ice/water bottles.  Was it supposed to be there?  I put it back, unsure of it’s cleanliness.  Later, after seeing many runners carrying fruit,  I realized I could use the water from the bottled water to clean it, but the pear was not there anymore.  Ah well.

I was so incredibly tired, even though I didn’t even participate, but since I wanted to have a somewhat normal sleeping pattern, I was determined to stay awake and not take a nap.  Christina and I went to Lowe’s to check out movies and their times.  Nothing particularly interested both of us, so we went to Fuddruckers at 11am.  By the time we arrived at her apartment, we would’ve completely missed the beginning of the movies we were debating on (sure bad at estimating time huh?).  We watched Stardust on her computer while eating lunch (I ate the big dog with chili and cheese while got the burger/fries/shake combo).  Phoebe called to watch the new Narnia movie.  So Christina quickly reviewed through the first Narnia movie on her computer, supplementing with verbal summarizations.  Then I browsed her books (she’s an English teacher at Kempner).  I asked about Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf.  She has no idea why the play references that; she was famous in the literary world and the title is a play on “who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?”  She took a nap while I looked Woolf up: “Dreadnought Hoax was a practical joke pulled in 1910 by Horace de Vere Cole and five friends, including Virginia Stephen (later Virginia Woolf)…Modern diagnostic techniques have led to a posthumous diagnosis of bipolar disorder…The ethos of Bloomsbury discouraged sexual exclusivity, and in 1922, Woolf met Vita Sackville-West.”  She committed suicide.

Christina suddenly got up and realized that it was time to go.  Good going, Christina.  She, Phoebe, Linton, Hannah, Tina, James, Jonathan, and I watched Prince Caspian at 4:30pm at Lowe’s (barely missed the matinee price for movies before 4pm on Saturdays).  Christina left because she was pretty wiped out.  Chris was at work.  I joined them (and Ariel came, too) at Avalon Diner for dinner at 9pm.  I got the turkey/avocado omelette for $10.  They ran out of the recommended-by-the-waitress dish of steak and eggs.  Hannah’s order was right, but James and Jonathan’s dishes were a bit mismatched–Jonathan wasn’t bothered much, just got the pork version.  The main question discussed for the evening was, “If you didn’t believe in Jesus, what religious would you follow?”  Here’s the breakdown: Phoebe said Unitarian Universalism (or Ba’hai or whichever incorporates getting along with all religions, obviously none of us know much), Linton said Mormonism (he arrived back today from Utah for business), and I think the rest of them said atheism (or James said burning incense to ancestors).  I said atheism/agnosticism.

We walked to Borders and sat for a bit (Hannah checked to see if there were any sales).  Then Tina jumped on another’s suggestion to walk to the water, “Yes, Tina needs to walk.”  The girls chatted about clothing (I think Ariel’s going to a wedding), then Tina suggested we get ice cream since Hannah regretted not ordering a shake.  Cold Stone Creamery was near Lowe’s, so we spanned the entire complex I guess.  James is always asking if something is junk food or not, or making explanations that it isn’t junk food.  Yeah….  “Not today” says Jonathan, since he got some.  Hannah got coffee with heath (yum).  Hannah mentioned a quarterlife crisis, which James somewhat related.  Linton says he hasn’t reached there yet, that he is still on the way up/forward to something.  LOL, it was funny how James said that he loved it when he resigned.  I got home at midnight and crashed.

Sunday.  Charles and I drove to Elliot’s house, where the three of us met up to carpool.  (Elliot couldn’t convince Ed to come, and so Pepsi didn’t come either.)  Charles drove us to pick up Henry from his apartment then headed to Jack In the Box at 1212 for lunch.  I ordered four grilled chicken strips for $4.64 (felt like a ripoff).  Then we got to MFAH at 1pm.  We browsed around until 1:30, when they started seating us to watch Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind.  The guys talked about having dirt on each other (and Ed Ly) and using it against each other, revealing it, etc.  We looked at the pamphlet they gave out for this Target Free Sunday (comparing the pictures of plants to their names).  Christina suddenly appeared and sat to my right right when the lights dimmed at 2pm.  I liked the movie because she was really going for understanding.  And she was amazing in all her abilities, as Lord Yupa already professed at the beginning of the movie.  Indeed, “What are you so afraid of?”  A lot of violence is borne out of fear of “the other.”  Henry says she should’ve died (there were Christian undertones), but Elliot said, “No, she has to live, so I can marry her” LOL!  Hey, she’s like Rocky and Gandhi put together, as Dave would say it, haha!  Who wouldn’t find her attractive?

Afterwards we went around to the exhibits (Pompeii wasn’t free).  Elliot teased Henry when he tried to explain one of the drawings on the wall, that the explanation didn’t exactly match what was written on the author plaque.  One artist painted Egypt abstractly (I don’t ever get it, so they make me annoyed).  We spent quite some time in the Korean exhibits.  Henry said he really liked the small wall-mounted plaque statue of the elephant in the other Asian exhibit.  Lastly, we observed the poles that important people carry/use.  Each had something on the top, so there were explanations.  Elliot really liked the one that went like, “Holding a kingdom is like holding an egg; hold it too hard and it’s crushed, hold it too loose and it will fall and break.”  Henry said he liked the quote that went something like, “A crab doesn’t give birth to a bird.”  The one that got me thinking was, “The hen knows it is dawn but lets the rooster crow.”  Christina found it to be anti-feminist.  Jacky called, so I called Wilson about football.  We sat around discussing the next step (board game?  buy Ziggity?  eat?).  Christina suggested we eat, Elliot of course suggested Fuddruckers (to which Christina got all excited about), Henry suggested Niko-Niko’s, and Charles jumped on that and made the decisive push to leave (5:30 pm).  I got the Hercules Plate.  Then we all left for home.  Charles stayed with Elliot to help him with his Microsoft Word.  I end up napping from 7:30 until 9 pm (sigh, so much for trying to stay up until nighttime).  Lil goo-goo took the trash out and left for her workplace.  I watched Dead Like Me because it was the only thing on and then went back to bed.

Not the television series season finale tonight.  That’s just how I describe how I’ve been feeling for quite some time.  And that’s what I’ve been telling people.  Like I wrote in an email three weeks ago when asked for a prayer request:  “On a personal note, I still feel lost, but it’s not this big suffocating weight and desperation, and I don’t really think it’s a bad thing either.  Still, I think what was said at Bible study was right on target, I really don’t even know what to specify except that I really haven’t touched that Bible in forever.  I used to read it every day.  So that is a step.  But just everything is on my mind really, like counseling and church and career and stuff….”  Before, it was this feeling of desolation that would be the catalyst of a stampede of thoughts that no one cares (e.g. second-guessing my friends and family, perceiving past gatherings from under the shadow of a dark cloak).  Just as Phoebe knows her fear of the stage is irrational, I know these thoughts are irrational, but it still doesn’t much help with untangling that knot during the deer-in-headlights moment.  Depression is irrational!  Or is it?  I remember Hannah made a comment after watching Lifting the Veil, saying she somewhat believes that some who have depression are more in tune with reality than us “normal” people because we “ignore” the atrocities and stick with an “illusion” of rosiness in order to not go “crazy.”

“Keep Breathing”
by Ingrid Michaelson

The storm is coming but I don’t mind.
People are dying, I close my blinds.

All that i know is I’m breathing now.

I want to change the world…instead I sleep.
I want to believe in more than you and me.

But all that I know is I’m breathing.
All i can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

All that I know is I’m breathing.
All I can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

Anyway, I guess this is as good a time as any to at least sort a smidgen in my mind/heart/spirit:

COMMUNITY
Genesis 35:11

Last Thursday I drove my parents to Austin to pay a last visit before my brother left for one week (to visit his former roommate), to give him his luggage (so he can pack), and to clean out his fridge (because he can leave food on the stove and not ever eat or clean it out).  My brother and I are very close.  We grew up with the same parents and familial history, in the same household, went to the same school for awhile, even were in the exact class and period for a class or two in high school (personal tutor, baby!).  We initially hung out with the majority of the same acquaintances (and lack thereof) and shared in the same struggles regarding church and friends and connectedness that we still discuss to this day, many times while in his room chatting up to the wee hours of the night/morn and our parents would come and say time to go to bed!  We are considerably different when you meet us, no doubt, as I am more like our mother and he is more like our father.  And in fact since high school we have led very different lives and rarely hang out or even talk with the same people, friends, or each other.  Nonetheless, during those occasional phone calls, I would say that I still feel close and  would still reveal much embarrassing/humbling/shameful things to him.

By the way, he had moved into a new apartment (from the urgings of his currently ex-girlfriend) and bought some furniture.  Where did they come from?  The famous Craigslist.  I have never been to the site, but many many people have made references to it.  From my understanding, it’s a virtual (that sometimes eventually leads to a physical) place where people can sell and exchange practically anything, from sofas and endtables to jobs, pets, and discussions.  It reminds me of Facebook and Myspace, two sites which Jennifer Garcia is part of and asked me if I was as well (I’m not, and actually most people in FBCC don’t have Facebook).  I’m not part of Craigslist, either, but is it something to BE a part of?  But those in Facebook and Myspace are still part of that network since they are still signed up in it, right?  Am I still part of Xanga if I decide I won’t write in it anymore (no activity), even if I have two blogs hosted on it?  You used to need an account to leave a comment, but now you don’t.  Do those who have never signed up part of Xanga if they leave a million comments on others’ Xanga blogs?  What does it mean to be part of a community?  What does it mean to be part of a church, and to be part of His Church?

FELLOWSHIP
Acts 2:42-47

I have been faithfully attending church services on Sundays since childhood.  But this past January, since I’ve always hated it (since middle school and El Paso, and even in Austin), I made a conscious decision to just stop going.  I made no effort to wake up earlier than usual, and even if I did, I didn’t even consider the possibility of perhaps attending.  Not until I figure out which church to attend regularly (do I want to stick with FBCC with its new chapter?), why I feel the way I do about it (is it the environment, the specific social situation?), and my reasons for going.  Three Sundays ago, I told Tiffany that though I haven’t really been communing with God lately, and though I have never ever exactly lauded FBCC, I have come to the conclusion to return to FBCC.  Now I have to dissect what that entails.

Regardless of its vagueness, it was a difficult decision.  Vickie is in San Antonio, so that’s why she says she continues to attend WHCC (her default).  However, she says that when she returns to a more permanent stay in Houston, she’ll move to Access, which is where Phoebe and Linton are fellowshiping now.  Access is starting out as a small but highly committed group.  When it grows in size, how will it look like?  Are people still going to connect?  To start off last fall, Pastor Ted asked his congregants to read The Celtic Way of Evangelism: How Christianity Can Reach the West…Again by George G. Hurton III.  In it, the key to evangelism is through understanding and living as a fellowship among the people, and in time they will open their hearts to the God who knows them.  The old Roman way was for people to believe before they can belong, while the new Celtic way is for you to belong and eventually believe.  In other words, the community and not an individual brings you to Christ.  In many ways, it’s easier to tell someone the Gospel than it is to take someone where s/he consistently experiences the Gospel.

How do we belong?  I sure feel like I belong to WHCC and HCC more than FBCC.  I know I am at fault for not terribly trying much, but even though I don’t really try, I get invited to their birthday parties, their holiday celebrations, and their event gatherings.  They even apologize profusely for forgetting to add me onto their list and making sure I am included next time.  On the flip side, I try the hardest with FBCC (but not my hardest in general) by calling and emailing them to contact me to hang out, and instead I’ve come to expect voicemail and oh yeah, this is what we’re doing right now, if you want to come.  Is it because at least one or two people keep track of me at WHCC and HCC, but no one does here at FBCC?  That could make all the difference.  Or is it that I expect more (and keep a record of wrongs?) because I have decided to be included at FBCC but I am nonchalant with whether I am invited to WHCC or HCC?  I remember back in January there was a slew of WHCC birthdays, and then in February there was a slew of FBCC birthdays.  Somehow, I ended up going to the WHCC ones but not the FBCC ones as much; I don’t remember now, but at the time was it due to scheduling conflicts or did I finally decide to attend the WHCC ones because I was more comfortable with them?  What does it mean to expect the worse but hope for the best?  How do you have high expectations but….? 

When I entered college, I checked out a handful of Christian gatherings.  I joined a small group that was part of the then-called Chinese Bible Study because it was the thing to do and everyone kept emphasizing them.  Our group fell apart,one by one, until it was just the Bible study leader, me, and this girl who was highly committed and hadn’t yet accepted Jesus.  I felt sorry, but that wasn’t going to cut it, so I left highly disappointed and joined CCC.  Later, I learned that one of the girls who wasn’t that much of a believer became good friends with Kara and eventually made an amazing transformation through His grace.  The thing is, though you can encourage group ownership, it sure can’t be forced.  Anyone knows nagging doesn’t work, although we find ourselves doing it.  Haven’t you noticed with some you just click instantly and with others you don’t?  Some people find you dull, while others find you exciting, or at least around them somehow you light up.  Even if you give all the time you can, with all the sincerity and effort, with both of you seeking, even if you lived near each other.  Reminds me of that girl from Chicago: we had an affinity towards each other so we’d decide to meet up and all, but anyone can tell from our conversations that somehow we just weren’t clicking.  Eventually we both decided without words to call it off.  She was a smart and pretty girl; I wonder where she is now after UT Austin pre-pharm classes.

Maybe we’re defining incorrectly.  Back in high school, I was elected to be the Science Club president, with a new teacher sponsor.  It bothered me that our definition of a member was someone who paid the fee.  There were those who were super dedicated, coming and helping at every single event, while others never showed up but they did pay the money.  I didn’t enjoy being president, so for me to keep everything running was as good as it was going to get, not trying to change their pre-existing system.  Magnificat has an application process but afterwards you’re in for life.  Even with years of hiatus you are always wlecome to come back and use the resources.  I met Annie Shen at an HCC gathering, and she says she hangs out with HCC, serves in her home Asian church, and then attends a more American (or African-American?) church on Sunday mornings.  Seems fragmented and yet, is that something I want to imitate?  In a way, her method demonstrates that we together are the Bride of Christ.  Vickie’s always running around hanging out with all these groups because we are all interconnected (actually, if left to my own devices, I really don’t care to make new friends). 

Indeed, it is impossible to know everyone, even within a single church building (”Abandon Committees, Skip Teams, and Embrace Communities” by George Bullard), so is there significance in “choosing” a church?  Are we to attend, serve, and gather within one?  What does the modern-day “fellowship of the believers” look like?  I think my problem would be choosing, because many times events have been booked for the same weekend.  Do I even it out?  Or instead, focus?  Still, I remember in the past when someone at FBCC needed a bone marrow transplant due to leukemia; the whole church gathered together.  We have also drawn together to fundraise for missions we support.  And the Chinese churches have gathered together for events as well (although it appears that FBCC does that less than the others).  Our mechanic, dentist, realtor, and family physician all were borne from the network of these Chinese churches.  It’s like “The New Science of Networks” by Albert-Laszlo Barabasi (who wrote it after reading “The Strength of Weak Ties“ by Mark S. Granovetter).

Still, when I went to RecWeek it was a big deal since I didn’t commit myself to InterVarsity but to CCC:EPIC (who has their own similar conference: DWC)–the IV leader went to the CCC leader to make sure they knew about me and it was okay with them!  Actually, it is the close relationships I formed in EPIC, not IV, that continue to live on.  I’ve still visited Josh, sent a card to Jonathan Le, had a few meals with prayers and talks of our spiritual struggles with Marie when she stops in town, and exchanged sparse emails with Iris.  Which reminds me: before the birth of EPIC, Alice and I were part of a CCC cell group.  The concept is that, as it grew, it would split and thus multiply.  We had to decide who we wanted to go with: Ophelia or Kristen.  I couldn’t decide at all.  Eventually, on the Jester steps, Iris poured out her heart and tears and basically begged me to be part of the one she had chosen.  I don’t remember if I had chosen one yet at this point, or if I ended up choosing the one that she asked me to be a part of, but I just remember this particular heart-wrenching moment.  I’ve never felt so loved and accepted.  And then, even leaving a comment on a random Xanga where they just started their own EPIC, I never would have imagined that eventually she would pray for my sins, and then point me (with Rudi) to spent one night of our two-week road trip at a stranger’s apartment.  Not only did this sister in Christ open her place for us and provide hospitality, she also prayed for and over us.

FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS
Luke 15:1-7

Perhaps Josh had a better glimpse of how this all operates when he wrote his journal entry on seasonal friendships.  On the snowboarding trip, not only did I reinforce previous friendships but also forged new ones.  Liz prayed for me when she didn’t even know me, only because she knew I needed the spiritual support.  Now we still exchange postcards and emails.  I haven’t spoken to Ruth since I’ve moved back from El Paso; she was a wonderful roommate.  During the student orientation at UT Austin, somehow I ended up hanging with a Hispanic girl and an African-American guy.  I remember the incident when we were eating some free food in a large banquet hall, and he said that he really stood out.  “Because we’re under the skylight?”  “No, because I’m the only black person in this room.”  It was really nice to not be alone and to share the experience with others in the same boat.  I remember her waving at me later, and he visited my dorm freshman year, but now I don’t even remember his or her names (or faces….).  When we graduated, Sapna gave me an old photograph of when the three of us (including Reena) were in second grade? and I had played this detective game with them by planting clues: ”It takes a long time to grow an old friend.”  Back in high school, Carla Ortiz gave me this:  “Thanks for being my friend & for being the caring person that you are to me.  Your the GREATEST friend.  Happy B-day to a friend that means ALOT to me.”  I remember thinking, this is so out of nowhere!  I don’t recall any conversations we’ve had in the past, and ever since I have not a clue what’s going on with her.  She says I’m such a great friend to her, but how?  I know many times I’m nice to those I really would prefer never to hang out with again, but with her it wasn’t even that….

I remember back in Austin, Timmy Chui wrote about The Atomic Tiers of Friendship haha; wonder where he got his ideas.  Phoebe and Hannah have been gone for a week in Hong Kong and will be gone for another week.  I have been contemplating our relationships since I’ve been back at my parents’ place for the time being.  Phoebe and I grew close first semester of freshman year and then agreed to an accountability relationship thereafter until I moved to El Paso.  Hannah and I gelled a connection after her 22nd birthday while exchanging deep, dark, familiar yet unsimilar, privacies.  We’ve hung out I think usually once a week together on the weekends, but of course it’s not like before.  I think other acquaintances (not “friends”) know more about them than I do at this point.  I’m not exactly pining for the days gone by but rather how to take those spontaneous moments along into the future, how to cultivate the environment for our older selves in new stages, for the sake of the gospel, for our children.

I mentioned that we should be neighbors so our kids can play together.  Linton said, “But you don’t even have a boyfriend!.”  Indeed, I’m not even close to marrying, let alone having children.  I never really got to know my neighbors, but it turns out that I know a little more (thanks to my dad) than Phoebe and Hannah do about theirs (they say they’re new).  Linton has to feed their dog Missy, but it seems that in the past (or at least in media), the neighbor usually handles that role.  As I drive towards Dulles Avenue, I always pass a driveway packed with boys who have grown tall and lanky!  I don’t know who lives there, but I’ve seen African-American guys, Asian-American guys, and white guys all playing basketball together.  When Gilmore Girls first came out, what drew me was not only the intelligent banter but the concept that they lived in a (too) close-knit town.  Everyone would eat at the local Luke’s Diner, and then people could hang out on their front porches and say hello to those walking by.  But they sure had a lot of gossip.  (And, as Phoebe said, when Dean made love to Rory, we were shocked.  So much for a clean series.)  I absolutely adored the neighborhood playground my brother and I frequented as children.  Okay, so maybe this concept is now dangerous in this day and age.  Then you can have those “gated communities” that Jessica/Robert/Rosemery (and my brother) are in (compare with the med center condos that Alison/Wilson/Cindy live in).

MARRIAGE
Ephesians 5:22-33

I always say that I feel more comfortable around guys than girls (verus for Linton he says he grew up feeling more comfortable around girls than guys).  The past few weeks I wonder how I came to that conclusion, both mentally and subconsciously in how I act.  I mean, I hung out with both while in school (and senior year it was a table of all females during lunch, man I miss Arlene and oh, her birthday was this past Sunday), and at church it wasn’t like the guys in my class treated me better than the girls.  I would also say that I have more guy friends than girl friends, yet if I lost my guy friends I would be sad but not as devastated as if I were to lose a friendship with a girl. 

Chris Sun is a prime example.  In fact, I’m almost hesitant to call him a friend.  Is he more of a…frequent acquaintance?  Seriously, the only reason we hang out is through Linton (and satellite friends).  I have a [funny] birthday card that he gave me freshman year.  Little did I know then how rare that is.  Yet he’s probably going to be one of Linton’s groomsman, and I did invite him to my birthday dinner, I guess to even it out.  I also invited Nathan Kim, and we rarely talk.  In fact, we just see each other at football and usually don’t even exchange words.  But I know if I am in need of prayer or other help, he will respond, as he always emails back amidst his numerous activities.  And then there are Andrew, Nathan, and Inch.  Well, I haven’t been in contact with them for quite a long time now, but it’s okay.  I think I feel closer to them than the other people I’ve met from football simply because I met them through Vickie, and somehow that changed the dynamics in how I associate with them, like sending them Christmas cards.

Haha, remember when Tina Chen thought that David Kalloor and I were dating because he’d come over so often freshman year before either of us made many new friends?  It never occurred to me, and I never ever did/will have that thought concerning him.  Whereas with Siwei we, I have no idea how, hit it off right off the bat (where/when/who).  I could tell him everything that I tell my brother–that’s how close I felt with him.  But I barely met him.  At first I clung to thinking, “What does it mean to know my husband?” but like friendships, there are those you just click with and those you don’t.  So I’ve let go of that.  When I said no in Austin to a sweet guy who asked me out, he asked if it was because he didn’t believe in God.  “No, I’m just not attracted to you.”  Somehow, I didn’t feel it.  

Although, I think that has to do with our current culture.  If parents don’t approve of your choice nowadays, that’s usually overlooked instead of trying to reconcile.  In past customs (like the dowry) and in prevailing traditions (like the father “giving away” the daughter) though, it’s really a relationship between the two families, if not also between/within churches (The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony by Pamela Paul), dating with the approval of your community, who is in the place to help you weigh in the other factors of values and also keep you accountable.  That’s probably why Erwin and I are somewhat okay when thinking about arranged marriages.  I think the problem occurs when they make matches due to affluence and distinguishment, etc, as all humans end up messing up good systems.  My question to myself is, “If a guy I highly respect were to ask me but I just wasn’t feeling it, even after multiple extended rendezvous, would I accept?”  I think this is the wisdom I need to ask God about: the ability to discern whether an obstacle is the result of the need for discipline/perseverance (hurdle) or is the result of the need for a detour/fork (wall).  That’s what I’ve been trying to consider about waking up early, memorizing verses, personality in socializing, planning (using a planner works great for me, but Jennifer Lin says it doesn’t help her at all), kit with relatives, exercising, friendships as mentioned above, love languages….

PURPOSE
John 17:4

Last Wednesday, we met for FBCC Ladies’ Group.  The overall concensus was, we have no idea where we are headed and how our stories will end on earth and continue in heaven.  Many are figuring out whether to change to an entirely new area of study, or at least a new job within their current finished schooling.  The competition rises each year it seems among valedictorians/salutatorians, and I am amazed at just how ambitious and passionate they appear to be; you wonder if they will reach it, and if they will find satisfaction in reaching it.  As the dark clouds slowly dissipate, at times an epiphany or some clarity will shine through, but then it quickly disappears and I’m in a fog again, but still in a better state for seeing it.  I’m usually at peace when I think that I will be married while going about the house, how I’ve always vaguely but contentedly imagined it, helping supporting supplementing whatever he endeavors.  Despite that, Proverbs 31 had always bothered me, but even now the Proverbs 31 woman is now a celebration and challenge.  This always-wife desire and this in-the-Bible-but-doesn’t-seem-right disenchantment is finally coming together.  I guess I didn’t realize that it made me feel intimidated, incompetent, hopeless, exhausted (in my own power) like reading the goals of the graduates.  Instead, as God is making us perfect, as women He is making us her (His power with our participation), in our own unique ways. 

Of course, having “peace” doesn’t always mean I’m on the right track, but again you can’t discount it either.  I get restless when I think that I have been blessed beyond what I could’ve asked or imagined and with that comes the stewardship of making great strides for His kingdom (and thus even before believing but being raised in church, missions was always attractive to my naive eyes).  The thing is, ultimately we are to obey and glorify, NOT to change the world.  I think it is in this that I am transitioning from abstractness into something more pragmatic, as I am slowly lifted out and glean the gems that can only be understood from coming out of trip-ups, temptations, and trials.  I was all tangled up in my buzz words of community/friends/romance/vulnerability/missions/reconciliation/prayer, I’ve forgotten to “look up!”  I’ve been trying to figure out what God has given me a gift in, where God has placed my passions in, and how it could all work in this current culture, but conclusively regardless of techniques and training, the umph will be from God.  

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.  Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.  All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.  For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! (Philippians 3:7-16, Romans 11:36).

AMEN.

As some of you know, I was valedictorian of Stafford High School in 2002.  I did not strive for this top spot but simply diligently performed (and definitely with my parents taking care of everything else, including chores and food and driving).  Sapna was the salutatorian, and then it was Henry, Sarah, and then Kuan I think.  During prom, he was voted as the male “Most Likely to Succeed”, as I was voted the female recipient.  I remember Elliot asking about success, and then eventually saying I would definitely succeed, not in money or wealth, but in life in however I see myself succeeding.  Elliot, always the one to think beyond the surface :)  I have to say it was pretty awesome to get it since, for example, Henry really wanted to be #1 LOL.  More importantly, I got some money from the state, and it was probably also the reason why I received the HLSR scholarship.  People congratulate me…but not to diminish the honor, I’m sure if I went to another school I wouldn’t have received it.  I mean, all four years I took P.E. (since I knew I wouldn’t exercise any other way) and my senior year I took a lot of office aid and basically blow-off classes, while in other schools you have to be cutthroat with the honors/AP/advanced classes to the very end.  If it was between Hannah and me, it would’ve been Hannah ;-)  I didn’t really do much extracurricular either, although I guess I looked pretty good on paper:  NHS historian, Science Club president, secretary, PR, and I volunteered a lot with Mansi.  I probably would’ve gotten into Rice, too, since Sapna got in (I didn’t apply; I just figured save the hassle since I knew I’d automatically get into UT Austin and I didn’t want to live too close to home :-P).  One thing for sure, though, that I knew school was nothing like work.  Also, I really don’t have ambitions.  If asked about my career choice or my goals for the future, I would not have been able to answer anything, let alone how specific some of the following local chron.com valedictorians/salutatorians this year have answered:

• “To become a doctor and go back to the Philippines and volunteer a couple months of my time to help hospitals in need.”
• “To one day be appointed to a federal judge position. I want to prove to my family and others from single-parent households that anything to which they set their minds can be achieved no matter their socio-economic or cultural circumstance.”
• “To get a co-op with NASA and eventually work there.”
• “While a career in politics seems increasingly intriguing and isn’t completely impossible in my future, my main goal at the moment is receive a masters in art history and to return to Houston’s Menil Collection. I simply adore their varied collection of art and would be deeply honored to work there later in life.”
• “I want to write for a major paper or go to med school.”
• “I want to go to medical school to become a craniofacial surgeon.”
• “I will try to come back to my community and help out the people that supported me. I want to help my parents and start a college fund for my younger sister.”
• “I believe in giving back to the community that gave to me. I would like to thank my parents. They have driven me to succeed in life.Without them I wouldn’t be the person that I am today.”
• “To be accepted into medical school to become a doctor.”
• “I want to attend Texas A&M and own my own business.”
• “College, in preparation for a successful business career.”
• “College, then a career including psychology and social work.”
• “Attend college, pursue a career in human resource/management, have a family, and become involved in my church and community.”
• “I would like to someday write musical scores for film and television”
• “I want to be a pharmacist.”
• “I want to be a doctor of internal medicine.”
• “I plan to major in psychology or fine arts (graphic design).”
• “I want to go to medical school. My career goal is to be a surgeon and make a difference in the world.”
• “I want to attend law school focusing on corporate law. My goal is to be a lawyer for a major corporation.”
• “To work at a chemical company and eventually become the plant manager.”
• “I want to graduate from University of Texas in Austin, and hope to make it into the prestigious Baylor College of Medicine to become a cardiac surgeon.”
• “I hope to develop programs that will benefit others and improve the quality of their lives.
• “I want to graduate from college and be a successful engineer.”
•  ”I want to teach music at the college level.”
• “I want to be successful in life and to be able to help as many people as I can.”
• “I want to obtain my bachelor’s and master’s degree on mechanical engineering, work for a large company and eventually be my own boss”
• To teach children with learning disabilities.
• To become a doctor of pharmacy and research and develop cures for diseases such as cancer, AIDS and diabetes.
• To work in finance and government.
• Attend graduate school, get a good job and start a family
• To live a happy life, start a family and make a difference in the world.
• To major in human biology and become an optometrist.
• To earn a doctorate in theoretical mathematics and statistical analysis and attend law school and to open a law firm in the Sudan and Afghanistan for oppressed women and children.
• Architecture or creative writing; “Establish myself in the University of Houston’s Honors College.”
• Finance; “To eventually run my own business one day.”
• General practitioner; Medical research.
• Registered Nurse Cardiothoracic; Excel in college, international field research.
• Bioengineering, pre-med track to medical school; To have an enjoyable job, surrounded by people I love and trust … living on the East Coast with at least two dogs.
• Finance or marketing; Get a job where I can help people, possibly a teacher and basketball coach, and have a family.
• Pediatrician; To find something that I really love that helps other people and makes a difference in our world.
• Science or medical field; Study abroad, graduate school, experience other cultures around the globe while applying my field of study and knowledge.
• Broadcast journalism; To work with a major television station.
• Biomedical or chemical engineering; To become a pediatric specialist, possibly in oncology.
• Orthopedic sports medicine; To work in a career I am passionate about. To continue to build valuable relationships with friends and family and have a positive impact on the lives of people I come in contact with.
• Doctor; To open a clinic for people with low income and find a cure for hepatitis C so that I can cure my mother of this disease.
• Computer science and electrical engineering; To create a high-tech company.
• To become a lawyer or work for Coca-Cola Co.
• Nephrology (surgery); To work with Doctors Without Borders, focusing on AIDS and kidney disease research.
• Biochemistry; To become a sports physician.
• Business; To open a non-interest bank.
• Optometry or dentistry; To open her own practice, and volunteer at hospitals and low-income health centers.
• Politics; To attend law school and specialize in constitutional or corporate law.

Other notes:

• “Past valedictorians talk about path to success in the real world“ by Cathryn Stout, Memphis Commercial Appeal, Sunday, May 25, 2008
• Lives of Promise: What Becomes of High School Valedictorians by Dr. Karen Arnold chronicles the lives of 81 Illinois high school valedictorians from the class of 1981.  Multipotentiality is the struggle to choose between passions.
• “Valedictorian madness” blogspot entry

Wednesday, May 14, 2008.  The twins left this morning with their parents to visit Hong Kong for two weeks.  It’s the twins’ first time!  Phoebe was so sweet and sent me a postcard right before she left.  Linton called in the afternoon and asked if I wanted to hear a speaker talk about Darfur that evening.  Sure.  He called Vickie (still in San Antonio), and I called Elliot (visiting cousin).  Greg Wang and Chris came, too.  Later the three of us went to Two Rows to meet up with James and Peter to eat.  We didn’t get seated at a booth until 9:30 pm.  While waiting, James was on the phone and the three guys were chatting about who knows what.  They each ordered a Strawberry Blonde? beer in the meantime.  I was standing idly around awkwardly.  Then, the benches were empty so Linton and Chris sat down on one bench and Peter sat down next to me.  I picked up the Houston Press that was on the bench.  I flipped it open and the top said “Art” so I started reading.  He asked, “Do you you like art?”  I answered that I did, that I’ve had comments that I was pretty good at it (but I admit it’s only because I was copying), but I never thought to pursue it due to the influence of my upbringing.  Now that I’m out of college, I’ve starting contemplating the meaning of art, that it ISN’T a waste of time.  Peter agreed, saying that our parents push only for business, medicine, or law.  I said that they didn’t exactly push those specifics, but they DID push in their nondirect way for something that is likely to be viable soon out of college.  Somehow we segued into comedy.  He informed me of The Aristocrats (which initially I was imagining The Producers previews).  He said he wanted to be able to do that someday, just on-the-spot give a sparkling rendition of the joke.  I didn’t know that the Bob Saget was a well-rounded comedian, meaning that he also uses pretty foul language when not on family-friendly shows.  We discussed comedy in general, like cussing at every other word (or faking stereotypical accents all the time) is really desperation, not smart humor (this includes the Silk Mangos).  He tried to name a few that weren’t too sexual, but it was funny how Chris and James completely refuted them, saying that they were pretty bad.  After we were seated, Braden showed up with Jennifer Ma.  Jennifer didn’t remember Chris or me, but she did realize that she knew Peter.  I learned about Braden’s brother Daven’s marriage.  Jennifer left, Susan came later, then the couple left with like 5 beers ($1 during Wednesday Happy Hour).  I ordered the pot roast sandwich with beans, which the waiter recommended, but I got mushrooms, so I asked, and so I got to eat both, hehe.

Thursday, May 15, 2008.  James called to invite me to dinner at Yantze.  He said maybe Linton could pick me up, so I called.  I went to his house, then he drove us to Phoebe/Hannah’s to feed Missy (who’s 10 years old).  They turned off their water, so he had to scoop it up to distribute.  I’ve never really got a good look at her before.  It was cute that they gave her a big umbrella over her doghouse.  Linton told me not to mess with a hole in the ground, which is a favorite spot of hers–interesting.  Linton says he usually gives her two doggie treats, and I got the preferred one (a red cylindrical stick), but I guess since I was a stranger to her she wouldn’t take it from me.  Then, she ate the other bone-shaped treat.  Linton finally said that I probably shouldn’t be taking pictures with the flash because she might be interpretting it as lightning.  Peter was at dinner as well (his Mandarin Chinese last name is the same as mine).  As we walked to decided between JuiceBox and Star Snow Ice and Teriyaki, we saw Jocelyn Chen and Nike eating at FuFu’s.  They joined us at Star Snow afterwards.  Originally it was going to be more people but turned out only the two of them showed up.  James and Jocelyn met him at the Meta retreat.  He got his name because his ex-girlfriend gave it to him.  He later found out that his sister ended up with the name Nike as well, and they were thinking of changing his name to Adidas since he has everything (sponsor) of that, but he didn’t change it.  When Linton found out that this 35-year-old used to be on some sort of official Chinese basketball team, he asked for his autograph (both English and Chinese).  This guy is trying to get his fifth degree (business, computer science, i forget…) and he says ideally he would be married at the age of 37, although he knows that might not be accomplished given that’s only two years away and he is still single.  Jocelyn commented that James really wants to get married soon, which James was embarrassed about.  They asked Linton how he and Phoebe got together.  Then, Jocelyn told Nike that Hannah’s still single/available.  On the drive home, somehow Linton and I ended up briefly discussing instant gratification, and how that has affected how our generation doesn’t seem to stay at a job too long, the rising divorce rates, etc.

Friday, May 16, 2008.   Greg Wang replied that he was going to join us at Discovery Green (he planned to eat at the happy hour at The Grove but they didn’t have one so he had the cheap food at the LakeHouse which he says he wouldn’t recommend).  At the last minute I called Henry, who said he’d come.  I went to Elliot’s house, and he drove us to see if Charles was home.  He knocked and rang the bell, and I observed upstairs, but we didn’t notice a presence there (his car wasn’t there, either).  Then we went to Henry’s, who said he didn’t care if Elliot’s car didn’t have A/C.  However, Elliot did, so he consented.  Henry drove the three of us to Pappas BBQ (it was okay).  Henry got a half/half combo of sausage and beef slices with potato salad and cole slaw; I got pulled pork with potato salad and candied yams, and Elliot simply got a burger with fries (finally decided against a baked potato).  He also ate our breads that we didn’t eat, hehe, like a beggar. 

We caught the second half of the last UH act.  Henry went to explore the park for the first time since the dance didn’t interest him.  Elliot and I tried to understand but was at a lost.  There were certain patterns, such as their head movements and picking up someone and making a turn, but Elliot made this comment:  “I’m going to tell David [Kalloor] that I saw something he would’ve made.”  Greg said that this is the weirdest of all the acts he’s seen (since he was there on time).  “Green”, which was performed by the Travesty Dance Group, Karen Stokes’ company (she’s also the head of the dance department in the University of Houston School of Theatre and Dance), and the UH Dance Ensemble on the outdoor Anheuser-Busch Stage, was followed at 8:30 pm by a screening of The Cost of Living, presented by the Aurora Picture Show. The 34-minute movie takes place in a seaside town where street performers David and Eddie struggle to find work and romance. The film incorporates sharp humor about the notions of how the fit and unfit are supposed to act.  I loved it– what with their friendship, the hula-hoop girl, the “Believe” by Cher guy with his exaggerated movements, the ballet scene, the bar scene, the insanely hyperenergetic Eddie, the dancing after the rude video non-interview, the last beach scene….not so hot on the fondling and didn’t understand the restroom scene.  I also loved how they showed it, on a huge moon-walk-type screen, hehe!

• Trailer:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itDRZlc7d8U&feature=related
• Part 1:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDTYRbsKcoQ
• Part 2:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrxuexKFPOM
• Part 3:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyAVLc6t5Fg
• Part 4:  …http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcpcujComks
• Part 5:
• Part 6:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHBLrfs2pJc&feature=related
• Part 7:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGjR5h9kYFY
• Part 8:
• Part 9:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQkhQWBx6us&feature=related
• Part 10: 

Afterwards we somewhat played on the playground.  The design was interesting (what is the mound supposed to be? I took a picture of the two of them).  I didn’t know they had the gliding-across-on-a-handle!  We had that in the Sugar Creek park but they took it away.  Wow, Discovery Green even had two height levels.  Yes, Elliot, I relived my childhood memory :).  Linton had to drop off Rebecca at the airport so he couldn’t join us.  He started driving to join us, but the movie was so short so he went to James Wei’s place.  After dropping off Henry off, Elliot and I joined them, where Brian Hui and Chris were as well.  They never DID decide what to do (they ate at Kim Son at 7 pm).  We ended up just hanging around.  They were watching the basketball playoffs on James’s laptop.  Vickie IMed James, so Chris started typing on it, egged on by Linton.  I don’t know if Brian played a part in it, but they did get James to say out loud “Hey baby” LOL.  Then they called Vickie on the computer; she didn’t have a speaker but she could hear us.  She said she heard a female voice.  Linton said lots of girls were here, and Vickie said she’d tell Phoebe haha.  They said it was the TV, but Vickie then thought it was me so she called my cell.  I actually had no idea what was going on, just playing Sequence with Elliot (he got the first sequence, but then I got the last two - with a wild).  The four guys were drinking.  Chris many times had to put a barrier between him and Linton.  James was so tired he fell asleep.  They started doing push-ups with the bar stool, with one hand, two hands, triangle, and rolling on the floor (which James apparently does a lot of??).  I got back home around 1 am.  Linton and Chris left after the game ended; Chris had to work tomorrow and Linton had an Access meeting at 9:15 am.  On the news on the night news, they showed someone with excessive hair with his family and friends.  I couldn’t find the one mentioned on the news, but I did find someone who proudly calls himself the Wolf Man and others who also have Hirsutism / Hypertrichosis. Below are also some other people with rare diseases/disorders/conditions:

• Hand in Hand, choreography by Zhao Limin, performed by Ma Li and Zhai Xiaowei
• “Tree Man” Dede has Epidermodysplasia verruciformis or something related to HPV
• “Pig Baby“ needs support:  http://www.babymiracle.co.nz/ 
• “Elephant Man“
• Blind boy puts on eyes like contact lenses
• Eight-limbed Asian Indian girl Lakshmi Tatma believed by some to be the reincarnation of the multi-limbed Hindu goddess Vishnu

Saturday, May 17, 2008.  Dad left this morning with Gloria Sun’s parents to Austin (since she’s graduating) to drop off Andrew’s VISA to China.  Mom woke me up to join her in a free lunch at King Bo II to honor her dedication in teaching Chinese school at FBCC.  We took up three big round tables.  Stefi, Jennifer Lin, and Rosanna were there.  Stefi’s finishing up her junior year of college at A&M studying biomedical science.  She’s also getting ready for the MCAT, but “I need a backup plan.”  Jennifer worked on a 6×6 Rubik’s cube.  The Chinese ladies talked up a storm.  Howard’s mom, dad, and brother Brian (but not Howard) were also in the restaurant at a separate table.  In the evening, I went to Jing’s early birthday dinner at Goode Seafood Company.  James said there should be a couples table and a singles table, but Jocelyn wanted to sit with the couples, and I wanted to sit with at least one other girl.  It was awkward because Jing’s girlfriend Evelyn sat in front of me, then to my diagonal right was her friend Christine and thus her boyfriend Stephen sat to my right.  The other table had Steve, Will (who’s he?), Jonathan, Linton, Brian, Peter, and James.  Eve sat with her boyfriend, Eveline sat with Michael, and then it was Jocelyn and me and his girlfriend and friends.  Evelyn met Jing during their internships; she’s studying accounting at UT Austin.  Christine is a recent Rice graduate, and Stephen graduated from UT AUstin last year (May 2007?).  They’re pretty and polite but didn’t really converse with Jocelyn or me, only unless we asked questions.  They had their own thing going.  Evelyn does yoga 6x/week and is not interested in swing dancing.  Afterwards the four of them used the helium from the balloons on the table (it’s prom night) to talk high-pitched.  Linton, Jocelyn (4 in a row), and I took lots of pictures then dispersed.  After yes/no/yes/no/yes, Linton and I stopped by James’s place to “help” him pack for his week in Orlando, FL.  I read James’s binder out loud.  Linton drank a Shiner and chatted on IM with Chris (”hey baby cakes”) LOL.  “is this vicky?”  James asked, “Do you like Chris?”  I was lying on the couch but perked up and asked back, “What?”  I couldn’t imagine him asking that outrightly from me, and I was the only female in the room.  But he was asking Linton, so he answered, “Yes.”  That was odd….  James wanted to share “dark secrets” but ended up explaining his job to Linton on his work laptop.  Masturbation was spoken on, though; Vickie said, “I’m sorry you had to go through that [night]” haha.  Eh, I’m used to guys.

Sunday, May 18, 2008.  I talked with my brother on the phone for an hour.  I ate leftovers for lunch, wrote about the weekend, then watched Dead Like Me on TV.  Dad returned at 9:30 pm, as predicted by Mom.  Vickie went out to the UT Rec Fields to hopefully play another game (be recruited if they were missing players, which she was).  She gave me a call.  Dad walked with my mom, then returned and walked with me outside around the neighborhood at 11 pm (interesting that the street lights went off as we passed by, then as we crossed the street and turned around to give it another glance, it turned back on).

This morning my dad went with shiaw goo-goo to Austin (they stayed with my brother) with shiaw goo-goo’s friend.  I could’ve joined/supported the NAMI Walk, but instead I drove to Jacky’s apartment to carpool to .  Jocelyn, JT, and Ted were already waiting.  He asked if I could drive since I was the only one with a four-door car.  Jacky sat in the passenger seat, JT sat on the right, Jocelyn sat in the middle, and Ted sat on the left.  We got lost briefly trying to find the Metro station, where we have permission and a permit to park for volunteering.  We waited for Jacky’s co-worker Andy? then headed towards the area (man, I forgot to take a picture of the metal see-through sign over the desolate grass area).  We passed an African-American with dreadlocks who was walking and also another man who was napping under the bridge but when he saw us (we were trying to take a picture of a family of ducks) he sat up and put on a shirt. 

After registration and getting our Tshirts, we were put to work doing random setup.  Jocelyn and I stuck together for the most part, trying to adjust/move the stage, transporting supplies to the media/vip area, transporting water.  The water was initially kept in this rundown building which had cool detached drawings of buildings on the white walls with black paint (I took pictures).  Shane Chen (a female), Jacky’s coworker who invited him and thus us to volunteer at this event, gave us special treatment.  We also got Astros tickets (unfortunately they gave us entrance to tomorrow’s and not Tuesday’s game), baby sunscreen, water, vegetable buns for breakfast (I know, sounds nasty in English), and overall better volunteering jobs than the other volunteers I think. 

We went walking around to the tents so that Jocelyn could say hello to Winston and Myrtle.  Myrtle is on the Houston Heat, as is Ying Yeung, my old piano teacher’s older daughter.  She says later I’ll probably see her dad since he’s coming as well.  Other people who I also ended up seeing were Jasmine and Annie from BASIC, John Hsieh (who gave me a large bottle of grean tea with lemon as well as a bbq pork bun), Rean, Christine Fung, and Susan Zhang.  Lol, Jocelyn ended up having to paddle for Lee High School.  I was pulled for Silver Eagle Distributors “Team Bud Light” because I was told one paddler had austism and had changed her mind, but the boat had already gone ahead so I didn’t have to.  I eventually ended up being the runner, meaning I would have to call the teams from wherever they were (usually at their assigned area under the bridge/tent) to get in line for their turn.  

On one trip of mine, I saw Robert C staying a little off from the crowd, on the sidewalk not close to the water’s edge, watching the race.  I went over and said hi, but he had this confused look on his face.  Not until he said, “You got a haircut” did I realize he probably didn’t initially recognize me.  We chatted, each telling the other why we were here.  He said that Joanne Wei (met on the football field, remet more firmly at David Zhao’s Chinese New Year party) had asked him to help out.  The RUCAA (Rice University Chinese Alumni Association) team consists of some current students and alumni, Joanne being one of them.  Another alumni, whom Robert introduced me to, is Ben Chu.  We both comment that each looks familiar to the other, but we have no idea how.  He graduated from Rice in 1995.  When I asked them if they were ready, Robert came up to me and said that actually they need 7 more paddlers.  I wasn’t sure if they’d be able to participate or be disqualified.  By the time they got their bracelets (they also forgot to register) to enter into the filtered area where current teams can be (and appropriate volunteers), they somehow could.  Turned out that they grabbed Jasmine, Annie, and John, and also roped in three Rice freshmen they had spotted.  One freshman came simply to watch her mom participate with the El Paso (Corporate?) Group, but now she has her own team to cheer on.

The guys (JT, Ted, Jacky, and Denver) were assigned to be dock helpers.  However, they are in a restricted area (and understandably so, because the people in charge don’t want that area clogged).  The girls are all running around as volunteers and as visitors.  Since Robert generally has an area he keeps going back to, I kept going back there to chat in between my runs.  It made my day, because he also asked me if I wanted some of their food (they were grilling hotdogs, sausages and hamburger patties on a metal portable enclosure) and man did I ever.  He went and grabbed me a hot dog in a bun (Vickie pointed this out to be that this is above and beyond simply asking if I wanted to eat) and asked if I also wanted ketchup and mustard, which I didn’t want him to go through THAT much trouble so I shook my heard (I was really hungry anyway).  I also ran out of the two bottles of water I had brought so I grabbed their paper cup and drank some from theirs as well (which I’m sure they desperately needed since they were rowing!). 

He’s an easy guy to talk with, and always with that big grin and easygoing attitude (with a humorous streak - saying I should wear my cap this other way, which I thought was true until he jk’d).  Some of the things I picked up:  He is going to finally graduate from residency in…2013.  I think he said he’d be 32 or something by that time.  He definitely never looks tired, though (good time management, eh?).  His family is in Louisiana, but they will probably move since they don’t really like it there.  He wants to go to Boston, but that is unlikely since there is more supply than demand with physicians.  He says there are three-digit-number of universities churning out medical graduates and a lot of people want to stay in the area.  His dream is to start a private practice, probably in San Diego, with two of his friends (who are specializing in oncology and radiation).  If his parents want his house, he’ll let them have it.  Otherwise, he’ll rent out his house.  OH yeah, and he remembered I was studying OT.  Wow.  The jokester again, saying that I should actually sell the projects (crafts) that the patients make during our Task Group in order to make more money.

When we were off the hook (we got to eat some of their food, but they also asked the guy to stay longer to help move the drums), we checked out some of the booths.  Jocelyn took me to the Wheel of Fortune put on by Western Union.  You could tell the staff wasn’t too thrilled to be there, just giving us their advertisements (and of course the prize I got from turning the wheel).  We passed one selling beautiful purses, and parasols, and even a tarot reading tent.  She also showed me where I could get my Chiense name written in calligraphy.  I got one for myself, and then when I commented that my mom would like it, she told me I could ask the man to write my mom’s name as well, which he did.  They were written on Beijing Olympics bookmarks.  Jocleyn is quite the social butterfly, taking photographs and contact information with all the people she met (e.g. the teacher who helped with Lee High School).  I also stood by as she talked with Caroline Long (the emcee and co-founder of the races).  Caroline said that initally they hired an emcee just like they hired the DJ.  However, something happened, so she ended up doing–and better.  She would go interview everyone while the hired would sort of just watch because s/he didn’t know anyone. 

Our last stop, right after grabbing extra white 8th Annual T-shirts as given permission by Joanne and Robert (Jacky was desperate for one), we “ordered” not food but some balloon sculptures from Smilez 4 Kids (they also paint faces).  As they were making them (the guys got them for their girlfriends), I started chitchatting with the one closest to me.  Turns out this grey-haired man is a missionary all over the world.  The younger people (like our age) standing behind him are two of his eight? children.  The guy was born in Germany? and the female making my penguin (as requested by Tedman, who personally got a Tigger tiger) was born in Italy.  This is their fundraiser.  Wow.

Hm…seems like I did a lot more.  I guess all that running, noise, losing my neon-yellow Airshow cap, pictures with newsreporters (just Greensheet - look for the June edition), and sunshine really did me in.  But with how things turned out, I am overall very happy.  Check out the link in http://www.buffalobayou.org/dragonboat.html for the official website, where you can click to Channel 13’s reporting with pictures and videos as well as the results (Continental Airlines reclaimed their champion title since 2004, 2003, and 2002) and especially how to volunteer for October’s Regatta ;-).

In the afternoon, I could’ve participated in Hector’s Cinco de Mayo cookout, but I was way too tired.  I took a nap (from 3 to 5 pm) then got up to eat dinner while watching Coyote Ugly on TV.  Turns out my mom went to the same Chinese singer concert as Jocelyn did (must be since she said something to that extent and was asking for directions to the front of the Reliant Stadium).  I also called Inch, Nathan Kim, who referred me to Chris Sun, and Henry (who asked Charles and Elliot who he was watching a movie with) if they wanted to go to the Astros game tomorrow.  Inch says he and Sarah Kim won’t be going because church conflicts (as I suspected).  Nathan is at a ASME (American Society of Mechanical Engineers) conference.  Chris says he “probably won’t be going” and I didn’t press for a reason.  Henry gave generally the same answer, as did Charles, but Elliot said maybe.  We’ll see.

My clinial instructor let me off work right after lunch, so after saying goodbye to everyone (and quickly filling out the clinical experience feedback packet) I left around 2 pm.  Since CSI: The Experience (an immersive, interactive forensic science exhibition) at the HMNS was moving on this Wednesday, getting off earlier was perfect to allow me to check it out!  Gotta milk this student status for all it’s worth ($12 instead of $15).  Elliot had said he was really interested in doing this as a job.  He heard you had to be a police officer first, so at first he was aiming for that.  But when he heard you had to be an officer for quite a while at first (something like that), so he changed his mind.  Here’s some more information from our national government:  http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/178280.htm.  After going through the exhibit, it is really way too much for me to handle (biochemistry, physics, geology, psychology, social science, law….).  Maybe I could do this….http://www.loisgibson.com/

I had remembered incorrectly (I got the two mixed up in my head) that the HMNS was beyond the MFAH if I just followed Main Street, so I walked all the way to the highway (the entrance to US-59).  I thought to myself at this point (after using the gas station restroom), this cannot be right, the museum can’t be beyond this.  So I stepped into a car insurance office lobby and asked the young Hispanic woman where the HMNS was.  She told me to head toward Fannin in the back, take the Rail, and it would drop me right where the HMNS was in the Museum District.  At this point my back was hurting from my heavy backpack (I had brought my Anatomy binder for Jennifer Garcia to peruse, and I had my Spanish-English/English-Spanish dictionary), but I still didn’t want to “risk” going beyond my stop and didn’t want to bother with figuring out the system.  So I walked back, and was still confused.  There were two African-American men with their reflective gear sitting under the shade of some trees, I think directing the traffic coming into the parking lot of the church.  I asked them where to go, and they instructed me.  As I was following the directions and apparently missing/heading away from the museum for the last leg of the directions, a guy stopped me and asked where the HMNS for the Lucy exhibit was.  I said that as a matter of fact I was looking for the HMNS as well.  He then said that he suspected that I needed to turn around.  I offered we could both check it out  together, but he said he had family waiting for him in the car, so I headed off by myself.  As I was walking, I stopped an older white man and he turned around and pointed to the building.  Yes!  Turns out it was just at the Sam Houston statue, the one I had stopped and admired and then passed up on my way north.

My first round of business was to take off my backpack, lift up my legs, and replenish my bodily fluids.  Some people were staring at me.  I hope I wasn’t THAT much of a frazzled scene.  Then, I headed to the counter.  I had forgotten that I had been here before when I was younger.  He said he was going to put me at the 3:30 showing (it was timed), and I was a bit disoriented.  Then I realized it was already 3 pm.  He then asked which crime scene I wanted to solve.  I had no idea.  He then made the suggestion that #2 (Who Got Served?) was the hardest, after which was #1 (A House Collided) and then #3 (No Bones About It).  As I was processing this, thinking I’d do the medium one, he continued and made the recommendation of #2.  Okay :-)  The things I learned:

• Digital evidence–checking calls on the cell phone, where was she last?
• Latent prints–fingerprints
• Impression evidence–tire tracks, shoeprints
• Toxicology/Drug Chemistry–like what we did in school, titrating until a different color appeared; blood alcohol concentration
• Forensic Entomology–blow fly growth places the approximate interval since death
• Forensic Biology/DNA–compare with missing persons, mitochondrial DNA in hair is not as informative as full DNA but it can show what species it’s from
• Trace Evidence–artificial fibers from pillow, dog hair
• Blood Spatter–passive (drip, flow, pool), transfer/contact (e.g. wipe or swipe pattern), projected (velocity impacted)
• Firearms and Toolmarks–caliber, retrieving filed off registration ID#
• Forensic Botany–non-native seeds and pollen
• Forensic Anthropology/Dental–to find identity of victim
• Chain of custody is chronological documentation, and/or paper trail, showing the seizure, custody, control, transfer, analysis, and disposition of evidence, physical or electronic. Because evidence can be used in court to convict persons of crimes, it must be handled in a scrupulously careful manner to avoid later allegations of tampering or misconduct which can compromise the case of the prosecution toward acquittal or to overturning a guilty verdict upon appeal. The idea behind recoding the chain of custody is to establish that the alleged evidence is fact related to the alleged crime - rather than, for example, having been planted faudulently to make someone appear guilty.
• Cause of death in #2 was toxicology before being run over because if the victim was killed while being run over, then blood would have gushed forth in the visceral cavities.  #1 was a blow to the head before the “forward forces” of driving through the family room of a house (his last meal was pizza - as shown through a plastic vessel mounted to the wall with plastic pepperoni pieces inside).  Manner of death in #3 was homicide, by gunshot (cause of death).

Dr. Edmond Locard (1877 – 1966) was a pioneer in forensic science who became known as the Sherlock Holmes of France. He formulated his basic Locard’s exchange principle of forensic science: “Every Contact Leaves a Trace“:

‘Wherever he steps, whatever he touches, whatever he leaves, even unconsciously, will serve as a silent witness against him. Not only his fingerprints or his footprints, but his hair, the fibers from his clothes, the glass he breaks, the tool mark he leaves, the paint he scratches, the blood or semen he deposits or collects. All of these and more, bear mute witness against him. This is evidence that does not forget. It is not confused by the excitement of the moment. It is not absent because human witnesses are. It is factual evidence. Physical evidence cannot be wrong, it cannot perjure itself, it cannot be wholly absent. Only human failure to find it, study and understand it, can diminish its value’ (Traité de Criminalistique by Locard).

Shelve everything and celebrate!

Founder Lynn Gaubatz, a famous bassoonist, says the site was “designed to encourage and facilitate donations to schools and libraries, in prisons, on Native American reservations, and around the world.”  For example, she has a started a special “drive to help prison libraries and prison education programs around the US” through Prose for Cons (how punny!).  Elliot would be glad to hear about this, hehe.

Rockets guard Tracy McGrady, center, scored a game-high 23 points and added 13 rebounds and nine assists in Game 2 of Houston’s first-round playoff series with the Utah Jazz, but it wouldn’t be enough to prevent the Rockets from losing 90-84 at Toyota Center. Houston fell to 0-2 in the series, which heads to Salt Lake City for Game 3. James Nielsen: Chronicle

Last night I got on the internet and found a slew of emails regarding watching the Houston Rockets.  Lisa Leu wanted to see a live playoff game for the first time.  With lots of emailing, they decided to go to yesterday’s game, which was much sooner than she expected but she was up for it.  I replied saying that I wished they had a good time and that we’d win.  Around 8pm (about half an hour before the opening jumpball), Jeff Chen called me to say that he could find no one to go with him to the game.  Arnold had a flat tire and decided to hand off the tickets to him.  I was hesitant because it was so last minute.  I called Elliot to see if he wanted to go, but there was no answer.  I was on the fence, and then Jeff said, “Okay, I’m going to make an executive decision.  I’m going to pick you up because I’ve already made a U-turn.”  Thus I ended up attending the game as well.

Complications were involved, however, beyond being la